Beautifully Obsessed

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The duality of flooring

13/12/2021

Sorry for the wait! I have so much respect for writers on here who have a posting schedule they stick to, it amazes me, thank you for commenting and keeping me in check with my updates. This is the last chapter before the big wedding one!!!

I hope you enjoy,

~Aphrodite

-------------------------------------------------------------

      I'd never felt as though I had a bad relationship with floors. Four times out of ten I'd choose to sit on the floor rather than my bed, there was never any reasoning behind it, it was just something I had done. But now, as I sat here, on this floor, I couldn't help but hold a feeling of resentment towards the inanimate object.

The agony it caused my body seemed to be never ending. But then again, I was deflecting. It wasn't about the floor, it wasn't even about Noah. It was about me. Because some twisted, demented part inside of me was praying Noah would just give me a physical punishment. Anything that would get me out of this torture, in my mind if Noah punished me, at least he would be communicating with me in some way. And that seemed so much better than this.

All I had was his silence, and the gut wrenching feeling of his disappointment that lingered in the air, suffocating me. The only thing keeping me company was the screeching of my thoughts, bouncing around inside my head.

During these past couple hours, I felt hopeless, excluding that single moment when I had subconsciously shifted my position, so that my back was leaning against his legs. Once I had realised what I had done I froze, scared I was about to set him off again. But, as he brought his hand down to pat my head for a couple of moments, I couldn't help the feeling of relief and bliss that filled me. In the back of my mind, I knew I probably resembled a pet and when my gaze lifted to meet James, I could tell by the amused glint in his eyes that I did.

I wanted to hate it, I wanted so badly to hate him. I wanted more than anything to hate me. And yet, I couldn't. I had just watched footage of him murdering two human beings, human beings with feelings and with families, with hopes and dreams and still, all I wanted was his approval.

The tears stung at my eyes as I remembered the last words he had said to me. "Maybe me coming back for you was a mistake". A whimper unconsciously slipped past my lips as the pain in my chest became startling intense. I didn't think much of the movement from my side until Noah's hand clasped around the back of my neck. Gently tilting my head to face him as my teary eyes stared up at him.

"Tsk" he shook his head, grabbing me from my waist and hoisting me onto his lap, my face hiding in the crook of his neck. "What's with the waterworks little bug" he hummed, rubbing circles on my back. I hiccuped as my crying began to cease, "I-I don't l-like when you're mad at m-me" I sniffled quietly.

"Shh, it's okay, I'm not mad anymore, you've learnt your lesson haven't you babygirl?" His tone indicated that it was more of a statement than a question, nonetheless I weakly nodded against his chest. I couldn't help but think that the heat radiating off his body was nice, as well as the bodily contact with something other than the floor.

"Come on, let's get dinner", rubbing my eyes I ignored my questioning mind at how much time could have passed and simply went with it.

Throughout dinner, he spoke to me as if nothing had happened today, as painful as it should have been I was ecstatic. He wasn't mad at me, he was giving me attention and being caring towards me, he was giving me everything I had craved from somebody while he was gone. I wasn't annoyed at myself for enjoying it because I knew I would have reacted this way no matter who it came from and it wasn't my fault that it happened to be him.