𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸, remus lupin

˗ˋ 48

CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT
✧
-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH MORNING
BREAK ARRIVES

. . .

Pandora had lived a nightmare of a life, and Remus was slowly drinking it all in. He knew he shouldn't be feeling guilty, given that she had treated him awfully, but he had treated her badly as well. So instead, he listened quietly as she talked more about the butterflies and what they had done for her over the years. 

She had been alone since even before her Hogwarts letter arrived, and prior to that she hadn't had really had any life experience. As well as protecting her in dreams and in waking, the butterflies could do all sorts for Pandora, and she accepted it without a word. In the large library housed within the castle, no ladder was needed and instead the butterflies created a form of ladder for her - just like when she scared the living wits out of him and jumped  out the window.

The butterflies kept her fed and healthy, were a way for her to develop her magical abilities to the point where the fact she had avoided attending Hogwarts had become beneficial to her than it should have been; Remus didn't think he had ever actually heard her use a spell yet seemed to have magical capabilities way past any of her classmates. The butterflies' presence meant that she could develop odd skills in legilimency and occlumency - because the usual reality of anyone who possessed such skills didn't find that they could converse with one another without actually speaking, and usually required the action of opening their mouths to get their points across.

She seemed to inhale knowledge and once, in the midst of a reading section in class, he had glanced across and seen golden flickers beneath her fingertips. Now, her fingertips jumped over the golden stripes on his tie - she seemed to have needed something else to focus on in order to tell him anything else, and almost naturally, he let her.

Indeed, allowing her to fiddle with the silken material that was tied tight around his neck appeared to be the worse thing to let her do - he was effectively putting his life in her hands, and trusted that if she really wanted to, she would tighten it to the point of asphyxiation. But alas, Pandora wouldn't end the werewolf of his suffering that day, and it may be one of the things Remus was more grateful for. 

Slowly, as she spoke of more things that had become since her continous denial of Hogwarts acceptance letters, Pandora's hands travelled upwards, straightening his collar, a thumb stroking below his eye to get rid of a fallen lash before her forearms came to rest on his shoulders, fingers twisting around the curls at the bottom of his neck. She had done it before, but moved before informing him of her nightmare feeling somewhat stiff with the horror that had originated from the first time she dreamt it, and now the conversation had become more languid and free - well, by her standards anyway - she felt as though she could return. 

She was back on the topic of her mother again, answering several more wonders about her upbringing before Remus came to the penultimate questions. 

"Why did I never see you again after that night? And how did your mother know I was there?" He asked, feeling the slowly massaging fingertips pause.

"My mother knows everything, always. I didn't want her to hate me. I wanted to be a good daughter. I did her bidding. She found out that I had helped you... you came to visit once, and so I had to turn you away." It was broken up, almost sounding as though it was different parts of one sentence. 

"Why don't I remember that?"

Pandora did pause at that, movement coming to a complete stop. "I suppose.." She began. "I suppose she must have obliviated you. Taken the memories away. It was only with the potion that you began to remember.. so you must have had it taken away." 

Finally, the last question brewed in his mind. Remus faltered, met her eyes. "Pandora, do you ever have any other nightmares about your mother?" He asked. Perhaps he didn't want to know - the one she had already told him about was horrifying enough. 

"I see him kill her, over and over. I watched him kill her, stood above it all as he killed her in one moment. I see it over and over - I see her sometimes." Pandora admitted. "I see her everywhere."

"Your mother?" 

"Yes."

"I see." Remus swallowed, wondering just how far 'everywhere' covered, whether scenarios included him or whether it was when she was on her own and that alone. It seemed they had been talking about her past too much, and the Rosier's words had mixed and merged until she was in a state that resembled somewhat confusion as she muddled the stories of her past together.

And then, miraculously, before Remus could think up of any other questions, the bell to signal the end of first lesson and the start of the twenty minute morning break sounded, and they got to their feet, already hearing the noise of people escaping the confines of their classroom across the halls.

Pandora looked somewhat disappointed to lose the comfort of his touch beside her, and Remus automatically reached for her hand, tugging her foreward towards the Entrance Hall. "Do you still see her here?" He asked, as they stepped forward.

"Not for a while." She admitted, the grasp on his hand tightening just slightly.

✧

a/n
she seems to be 
getting more comfortable
for now