𝗰𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸, remus lupin

˗ˋ 69

CHAPTER SIXTY NINE
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-: sixth year :-

── IN WHICH REMUS SUMS UP
THE COURAGE

. . .

They had toad in the hole for dinner, with gravy and a variety of vegetables. Euphemia had cooked it, and whilst Pandora had grown used to the cooking of the house-elves and prior to that, the food she had managed to sustain herself on when she rarely left the house, the Yorkshire pudding and sausages had been the nicest thing she had ever eaten. It was followed by a sticky toffee cake and custard and sitting in the living room with cups of coffee and hot chocolate.

Fleamont had a cheese board and crackers, and James and Sirius had made a game out of chucking chunks at each other and trying to catch them with their mouths, Peter having backed out in embarrassment and Remus too busy drinking his hot chocolate. Euphemia had set the dishes to wash with magic and sat besides her husband as she asked Remus to help her with the recently purchased muffle TV.

Pandora remained sat in a cushioned loveseat besides the hearth. She was besides a bookshelf and had selected what seemed to be the most interesting of the books on the shelf besides her elbow, not wanting to create much of a scene by standing up and making a point of choosing another. Her hot chocolate, a choice influenced directly by Remus asking for it a moment before (as he had the a record of of recommending particularly tasty drinks; the Butterbeer), sat on the ground, beneath where her feet curled under her.

Sirius swore profoundly when he missed James's throw and Euphemia swotted his shoulder. She turned the page of her book blindly as she watched, Peter mumbling some comment to which both boys threw a chunk of cheese at him and Fleamont began to claim that the cheese was expensive - although that was quickly disproved by his wife.

Remus sat besides James as Sirius threw the cheese, his eyes alternating between flicking towards Pandora to ensure she was still there - it hadn't quite settled in that she had actually decided to join them - and the ongoing game between Quidditch players, laughing and placating the situation when it became too competitive.

He stood up whilst they were distracted with attacking Peter, climbing over James's crossed legs and managing not to stub his toe on the coffee table before collapsing down in the seat beside her, watching as her finger curled beneath the page she was close to turning before she stopped and looked up at him, confused.

She had been quiet since arriving, revelling in the courtesy she had been shown from the Potters whilst till reeling from the events of the Christmas party the night before. There were far too many feelings than she was used to, unable to process just how she felt because she didn't really know.

She hadn't the misfortune of being privy to such complexity before. Instead, she had remained a plain of anger and want for things she didn't have. She was happy in her seclusion; happy to remain angry and settled and complacent; until it came to the annual Hogwarts letter she had been collecting over the years and there was a ringing in her head that suggested she perhaps wasn't as content with her wish to remain away from the world her mother had told her so much about and ensured that she remained away from it.

It was her first act of rebellion against the life her mother had taught her since her death. Her second was the entirety of her life at Hogwarts - who she chose to befriend and spend time with and what she did with her time - and the third was accepting the invitation of the Potters, which had lead to her being sat by the fire, her mind a whirlwind of unfamiliar and unsettling confusion.

"How are you?" Remus asked, caution flooding his features. They hadn't spoken properly since earlier, before they had arrived at the Potters' and settled into their rooms. James had told him, though, what she had said when he came into her room and there was his own fluttering of discontent to the aggravation and upset shared by Sirius who, by all means, had every right to distance himself from reminders of the life he was once forced to live, but had no right to attack someone else regarding that. He spoke quietly, wanting a little privacy in a rowdy room, his lips near her ear.

"I am... fine." Pandora replied, in a stilted, stoic kind of way that made Remus, despite his usual inability to entirely read her expression and attitudes, feel as though this one time was an exception and he knew entirely, that she was lying. "I'm not." She added.

He had forgotten her on-off ability to read his mind.

"Do you... can you..."

"Do you want me to stop?" Pandora completed his sentence. He nodded. "Okay." She agreed without fight, eyes averting back to her book.

"Pandora... I... how are you really?" He asked in a similarly low voice to as he had begun. "I don't want you to have come here for nothing just because... just because I asked."

"I'm not here just because you asked. I'm here because Mr and Mrs Potter invited me." Pandora reiterated the statement she had spoken several times, except this one didn't quite have the vigour usually spilt into it. "And I am happy... to sit here."

He stared at her for a moment. "Let's go talk." He proposed. "Come on. We can go into the library or... I'm sure Mr Potter would allow us to borrow his study."

"Of course, of course." Fleamont was now, much less interested in eating his cheese and instead focused on perfecting both James and Sirius's techniques on successfully throwing the cheese. "Just don't disturb my work."

He was only glancing at them with a disregard of someone paying attention somewhere else however, there were one or two others who were paying them specific attention.

And as Pandora, used to following behind Remus after the many times he insisted they went somewhere more private, stood up with her hot chocolate and followed him out.

Both of them saw James hit Sirius square in the nose with a bit of cheese as they did.

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