Classifieds.

Lost To Me Now.

The spring was flowing in, my favourite season, it has been a very quiet huge house. I received divorce proceedings from Loretta, I had heard she was marrying the twins father. I was expecting it, it was something she was planning on for months. I had planned on being difficult, but the twins would suffer and I want to enjoy our weekend each month together, in court should it come to that, I would fight to see them for longer.

I called Loretta after receiving the papers and asked her for extra time in the month, they're technically mine as well, she said she would discuss it with her fiancé first. Loretta called me back later that night and said that she and Desmond had discussed it would be two weekends a month and some time during the summer holidays and alternate midterm breaks and Christmases.

I asked about birthdays and they said that I could have them alternate birthdays. Loretta whispered, "any news on the problems?"

I told her I had heard nothing, not to worry she would be the first to know.

Loretta said, "thank you and I hope you find love again."

I was seething after she said that, she took up the prime of my life, but I thought hey ho.

Loretta and I were finally divorced, the twins loved spending time in their old house, they talked about their mum marrying their dad, but they missed me very much. We had many glorious days out, we spent time in our pool, we installed one as soon as we moved in. The girls missed the pool as they didn't have one at their dads, but apparently he's buying a house that he can build a pool in. I asked the girls did they enjoy living with their dad? They told me that he's very strict, he enrolled them into the best school in his area.

I looked up the school and it was for extremely intelligent children, it turns out he had their IQ tested, they marked very high. Their dad remarked how it comes from his genes but he did remark that my love and teaching shaped them into intelligent beings. I thought this was a nice compliment. It was awful when they had to go home, Desmond always sent a driver to pick them up, it wasn't like I was going to attack the man, but I guess he felt like he wasn't ready to meet me. The twins told me on their way out to the car that they would be fitted for bridesmaid dresses for their mum and dads wedding. After they said that, I broke down. It finally hit me, she was definitely lost to me now.

I woke up one morning to mail from Loretta, it was in her handwriting, she sent me a wedding invitation. I called her to decline, I couldn't watch her marry someone else.

Loretta replies, "you should come, Desmond would like to meet you and there's someone coming whom I believe you'd like, she's beautiful."

I laughed and said, "are you trying to set me up with someone?"

Loretta replies, "I am, but not out of pity but because I care about you and I know you shouldn't live your life alone."

I told her I would think about it and to add me as a maybe? I thought that I will go, I will meet this person, I don't like being alone, she knew me well. I guess this mysterious person would be someone she likes herself. I called her back two days later, I told her I was coming. I could hear excitement in her voice, the same excitement when we were getting married.

I drove into town and went shopping with Babs, she was really supportive about everything and she even said that I'll meet someone great. Babs confused me, she must truly have the gift of foresight, but I also found it intriguing. We went into a shop and Babs picked up a dress, it was powder blue, with diamante detailing at the hip, when I tried it on, with a blazer to match, to be honest I did look amazing. The wedding was days away, I couldn't wait to see the girls as hurtful this day would be.

It was the day of the wedding, I drove up the night before and stayed in a hotel. I was sent directions for the ceremony, there would be a car sent for me at twelve. The day was beautiful, I was thinking of not wearing the jacket, but I took it with me in case it became cold in the evening. I got inside the car, the was having flash backs of our wedding.

Tears welling up, fighting them as the driver was trying to make conversation. The driver asked, "so is the bride a relative of yours?"

I replied, "she was my ex wife."

The driver laughed and said, "ouch, that must be hard. How long are you both divorced?"

I told him politely that I didn't want to talk about it. The rest of the journey continued in complete silence. We arrived at this stately home, they had hired it for the weekend, the driver was so calm and nice, he opened the door and said, "good luck, you're a better person than I, I wouldn't be attending my exes wedding."

I thanked him and tipped him well.

I walked into the hall where the ceremony was to take place, the twins spotted me, they looked divine in their little dresses. The both of them squeezed me so tight, then I heard someone call them as they were to take their places. I was sitting two rows behind friends and family, mostly of Desmond, of course a couple of Loretta's cousins spotted me, they came and said "hi" the music began and they went back to their seats, Loretta's cousin Freda mimed, "I'm sorry love." I mimed back, "it's fine, speak soon."

Desmond and his best men walked to the top of the aisle, they stood there for a few minutes and in walks Loretta, she spotted me and I could see through her lowered veil that she had tears in her eyes, holding her bouquet she waved hello and placing her hands tightly around it. The girls walked before her, throwing petals on the floor. Loretta looked amazing, I couldn't believe how beautiful she looked and the jealousy kicked in. The ceremony began and a woman from the other side of the aisle kept looking my direction. I was left wondering was this the woman she was trying to set me up with?

I tried with all my might trying to keep the tears from flowing as the pastor was reading out the vows.

Then when she said "I do." I couldn't help it, the tears flowed. Loretta and Desmond were soon pronounced man and wife. The reception was soon in full swing, the top table began their speeches and Loretta added a section to hers directed at me, to which Desmond looked in my direction. The dances began, I danced with the twins and Desmond came and said hello, he thanked me for raising two wonderful girls. Desmond was actually a really great guy and it showed with how he interacted with the girls. I couldn't bear to watch Loretta and Desmond have their first dance I went to the bathroom. It was then she came in, the woman that I assumed Loretta was trying to set me up with, she reached out her hand and introduced herself, "I'm Rachel, pleased to make your acquaintance, you must be Denise? Was watching that hard?"

I couldn't lie, I told her it was hard, but I'll get over it.

Rachel took my hand and said, "well if you're up to it, I help you."

Rachel and I went back to my hotel, where we spent the night fucking each other until the sun rose. I swore I wouldn't be falling in love with her, she would be a fuck buddy, that's all.