Tonight is our Secret// A Lashton AU

eighteen

"Hey you ready to go?"

An hour later there was a soft knock on my door. I turned to see Michael standing in the doorway.

"Hey. Yeah almost." As I threw in the last few things Michael walked in and sat beside me.

"Calum was kinda harsh to you."

I shrugged. "It's fine. I get it."

"I don't know. I just don't think he needed to be that rude to you. It's not like you really did anything wrong."

Michael's voice was soft. I turned to look at him and saw he had a small smile on his face. Almost apologetic.

As I studied Michaels warm and friendly face I almost considered telling him about Ashton. I felt like I almost couldn't hold it in anymore. Someone had to know.

But before I could Calum was shouting at us.

"Let's go if we don't want to be late!"

Michael looked at me once more and smiled before heading out the door. I sighed and zipped up my suitcase and followed him.

"You good to go?" Calum asked me holding the keys for our rooms in hand.

"Yup. Let's go."

We walked out of our rooms and into the halls where our security guards were waiting for us. As we got downstairs we could hear the screaming. Girls would be crowding the streets and doorways. I checked the time. It was already 1. Which meant our flight was leaving in 4 hours.

It took us a while to finally get out of the crowds but we eventually managed to get into our van.

All three of us sat in silence.

I held a tight grip on my phone the whole time. Hoping and praying that maybe Ashton would text me or call me or anything.

And yet being thankful that he didn't because if he did I knew I would have broken down in front of Calum and Michael who would finally come to the conclusion that I was insane.

Maybe I was though. Falling in love was a horrible idea. It never worked.

Love was what everyone taught you about to give you hope. They wrote about it in fairytales. The beautiful princess always falling in love with the prince. The handsome prince falling in love with the princess. They get married. They live happily ever after. But fairytales are bullshit. Love is bullshit. Because the part they always manage to leave out is that love hurts. Love isn't something that's beautiful or perfect. Nothing about love is perfect. It's called falling in love because while you're falling you feel so free. Nothing is holding you back and you feel amazing. Like you're flying. But then the falling stops. And you hit the ground. And it feels like 100 knifes stabbing right into you. And not just in your heart, but your whole body. At first the love is beautiful. It's freeing and calming. But it soon turns into one big mess leaving you lying on your face in complete and utterly agonising pain. They don't teach you that growing up. They only teach you about the falling. Not the landing. Because the landing is always the worst part. And you know this. But you fall anyway. Just to enjoy those short lived moments of the falling.

And I fell. I fell hard and fast. I hardly had the time to catch my breath. It came so suddenly. I can't say I even remembered when I decided to fall. But I did. And the landing came sooner than anyone saw coming. But I, sadly, did not stick the landing.

"Hey. Luke."

I shook my head and my vision cleared. Calum's face was close to mine.

"You okay there dude? You completely zoned out there for a moment." He had a concerned expression set on his face.

I put on the best fake smile I could manage and nodded weakly.

"Just tired. That's all. Didn't get a lot of sleep while we were here."

"Okay. Well you can get some rest on the plane then." Calum sat back in his seat and didn't say a word for the rest of the drive. But none of us did.

Not even Michael who usually never shut up.

But I could feel their eyes on me the whole time. Both of their gazes never seemed to tear away from me. They were both concerned for me. I probably would be too if the roles were reversed.

The whole time we'd been in London is hardly been with them during our free time. My hair was a mess and there were dark circles underneath my eyes which were also puffy and red from me crying in the cab when I was on the way to the hotel. All around, I looked like shit and I needed a hot shower and then a nap. And Ashton to be there with me.

~

drama Llama

that was lame and not the first time I've said that I forgot how lame that is

guys the dude I like talked to me for the first time yesterday and I am still not over it

I'm not going to tell you what he said because then you'll all think I'm lame because it wasnt even like a nice thing he was literally just answering a question that wasn't directed at him but shut up and let me have my moment

anyways bye

-Ash