Tonight is our Secret// A Lashton AU

twenty-eight

When I woke up it was dark. And Ashton's arms were still wrapped around my waist. I smiled and ran my fingers through Ashton's hair, lightly so I wouldn't wake him up.

And then I thought it again. Love.

Did I love Ashton?

As I looked down at him sleeping peacefully in my arms, I smiled again. His long hair covered his closed eyes and soft snores escaped his pink lips.

I loved Ashton.

I loved him and wanted to stay with him. I wanted to wake up like this every time I woke up. He was mine and I wanted it to stay that way.

I kissed his forehead and his eyes fluttered open. He blinked a couple times before looking up at me and smiling.

"Hey." He yawned. "What time is it?"

"I'm not sure." I mumbled. I looked around for my phone before is remembered it was still in my suitcase.

He checked his own phone. "It's 4 in the morning. Look at that, your first night back and you're already making me wake up early."

I laughed.

He propped himself up with his elbow and looked up at me. Neither of us said anything but we looked at each other.

I looked at his hazel eyes which still shone in the dark. His soft pink lips were set in a small smile and the tiny amount of light smiling in the room from the moon outside danced across his face. I loved him. So much.

"What?" He asked. I realized I'd been staring at him.

I didn't say anything. I moved myself closer to him. I swear I could hear my heart beating. I kitted my had up and cupped his face with it his eyes were half closed and his mouth just barely open.

I loved him. And I wanted to say it. I love you. I could have said it. But I didnt. Instead I I kissed him.

Before I pressed my lips to his, I nudged his nose with mine then my eyes fluttered closed and my lips were on his.

It started out slow. And soft. But it soon turned to more. It grew heated. I crawled on top of him. My legs on either side of him and his hands were in my hair. I had my hands on either side of his head to support myself. I pulled away from him for only a second. I looked at him lying underneath me. He was panting. His hair was a mess. He was beautiful. And all mine. And I wanted to prove that.

I pressed my lips to his again then broke away. I attached them to his neck and he moaned at the contact. I lightly nipped and sucked his sensitive skin and left a mark.

His legs wrapped around my waist and he tugged at my hair causing me to moan.

"You want to do this?" I asked him then pressed my lips to his.

"Yeah. I do."

--

When I woke up, Ashton wasn't in the room.

I smiled when I remembered what happened last night. It wasn't really planned . And it was 4 in the morning. But it was amazing.

I got out of bed and threw on my boxers. The sweater I was wearing when I got to Ashton's the night before was gone so I left the room and found Ashton making breakfast. He was wearing my sweater which made me smile.

"Oh my god." I said. He turned to look at me and had a confused expression. "Is Ashton Irwin actually making breakfast? And he actually has the ingredients to make it? I never thought I'd see the day." He smiled and rolled his eyes then went back to his cooking.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Morning." I mumbled.

He turned his head and looked at me. "Morning." He smiled then kissed me.

"What are you making?"

"Bacon, eggs, and toast."

"Wow I'm surprised you actually know now to make any of that."

"You know you are a guest in my home. I could easily throw you out. Then where would you go?"

"Sydney." I told him.

"When was the last time you were in Sydney?"

"To visit my family? Chrustmas. I miss them."

"So go visit them." He told me. I looked up at him.

"But I'm here to be with you. I want to be with you."

"I'll still be here when you get back Luke. But I bet they miss you too."

"And your family probably misses you too."

"I'll don't have that option Luke. Money is really tight for me. I don't really have the option to just get up and leave."

"I don't either." I stepped away from him. I felt like he was telling me he wanted me to leave.

"But you have one right now."

"But I want to be with you."

"I know you do Luke. And I want you to be with me too but I'm not the only one who wants that."

"Just-" I started to say, "Ashton I" and I almost said it. I almost told him I loved him. But I stopped myself. "I'm happy. When I'm with you I'm happy. When I'm not with you I'm thinking of you. And before before I met you I was never happy. Please. Just let me be happy. I want to stay here. With you." My voice cracked and I felt like I was going to cry. I didn't understand why. It's not like he was going to kick me out.

His face softened and he gave me a pitied look.

"Luke." His tone was soft and I just wanted him to hold me. "Come here."

I took a small step towards him and then he closed the gap between us. I buried my face in his chest and held onto me tightly.

"I don't want you to leave Luke. I want you to stay here and now that I get to have you here for 2 weeks, I'm so happy. I don't want you to leave. But I also think your family probably misses you too."

"I know. Please just let me stay here with you though. I need to be with you." I clung onto him like I was a child.

Sometimes I was afraid he would leave me. He would find a life easier to have. One where he didn't question when he would see his boyfriend next but could just call him up and they could go on dates and hold hands in public. But I couldn't give him that. It would be so easy for him to just find that life and leave me behind.

"I'm not going anywhere Luke. You're stuck with me."

"Good."

~

update

-ash