Tonight is our Secret// A Lashton AU

thirty-eight

His tone was flat. I stopped. I looked at him again.

"You-You love me? I thought you hated me."

Ashton sighed and shook his head. Then he closed the door behind him and sat on the steps. I joined him.

"No you idiot I love you. I know when I left you at the hotel I said loved but you're my first love too. You can't just forget your first love Luke. And you know what yeah I do hate you a little but I still love you. I'm not just going to stop loving you in a day. I can't get over you that fast. I don't know if I'll ever get over you. I could be married and have moments when I still wish it was you."

I didn't think he loved me. I was happy to hear he loved me. But just because he did, didn't mean he would still want to be with me. I broke his heart.

And as if he had read my mind, "Luke you broke my heart. And that fucking hurts. I cried the whole flight and the whole first night I was here. My mum is going crazy trying to understand whats going on but not smother me at the same time too."

"You didn't tell her?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because if she found out some asshole boy broke my heart she'd kill him before I got the chance."

"So you didn't tell her so you could kill me before she killed me?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"I guess I deserve that. And more."

"Yeah. You do. But, I'm not going or make you suffer more than that."

I looked up at him, confused, "Really?"

"Yeah." He nodded again. "Because I try not to hurt the ones I love more than absolutley necessary." He glared at me and I nodded.

"I deserve that too."

He smiled and sighed. "You do. But you dont."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I get why you did what you did. I hate that you did it, but I get it. I don't blame you. I'm still ticked but I forgive you Luke."

"Really?" I got excited. I needed his forgivness. I didn't think I'd be able to handle if he never forgave me.

"Yes Luke. I forgive you. You don't have to follow me around day after day trying to make it up to me."

"I'm probably going to anyways." I told him.

"Luke. You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to. But I'm going to tell you I'm sorry every day. Every single day. I don't care if you forgive me every time. I'm going to do it. I'm going to until the day I die and longer."

"How are you going to apologize when you're dead?" He was smirking.

"I don't know but I swear to god I will find a way. I will do anything I can to see it happens."

"I don't need you to do that Luke. I forgive you. You don't have to apologize if I've already forgiven you." He told me. And it knew that. But i shook my head.

"I don't think you understand Ashton. Yes. I do have to. I have to apologize."

"No you don't Luke. You don't have to do it for me."

"I'm not doing it for you. I mean I am because I feel bad, but I need to. I need to tell you."

He looked at me. He studied my face for a while and I his. He had a small smile on his lips and his eyes were shining. Something I hadn't seen on his face in a while and it made me smile. Finally he spoke.

"Why?" His voice was soft and he moved a little closer to me. "Why do you need to apologize to me so much when I've already forgiven you and I'm just going to keep forgiving you every time you say you're sorry. Why do you have to do that?" He asked.

I closed off the gap between us. My thigh against his. My knee against his. My foot against his. And finally I said it. It wasn't like the first time I said it. This was real. And he knew I meant it. And I knew it too. And my heart didn't hurt. And I hoped his didn't either.

"Because I love you."

He looked at me. At my eyes. And I looked into his. Then he was looking at my lips. And I was looking at his.

And then, his were on mine. And we were kissing. Like so many times before. But this was different. It was real. It was the start of something. I placed my hand on his which was on the top step beside him. I'd kissed him plenty of times before that moment but this felt like our first. Because I loved him and he finally knew and he loved me and I knew. And there wasn't any secrets. I didn't care who knew. I was kissing him right on his front porch and I didnt care who saw.

When he pulled away, he looked at me and smiled.

"I love you too."

~

Ay

So this will be done on the 29th of July which is next week and that's sad

Anyways

Bye

-ash