Tonight is our Secret// A Lashton AU

thirty-four

My heart shattered. I couldn't hear anything over the pounding in my head.

We didn't speak. We didn't look at each other. Time seemed to be frozen.

It took a while for me to speak but when I tried nothing came out. I cleared my throat then tried again.

"Are-Are you serious?" I finally looked up at him and he was nodding which made my heart break even more. Tears started falling from my eyes.

"Yeah I am. I'm sorry but obviously you don't care about me the way you say you do Luke. I'm sorry but this is for the best."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against my tear stained cheek for what would probably be the last time. Then he stood up and I remained frozen on the edge of the bed trying to memorize the feeling of his soft lips.

Once I heard him open the door I snapped out of my trance. I hopped off the bed and ran towards the door. I opened the door just after he closed it. He was walking down the hall to the elevator.

"Ashton please! Don't go! Don't leave me!" I cried after him but he kept walking. Tears continued to form in my eyes and my voice broke more with every word I spoke. "Ashton! Please!" He still didn't stop. And I didnt expect him to either. But some small part of me hoped and prayed that maybe he would. I needed him to stay.

He almost reached the elevator. He was almost gone. Almost away from me. And I couldn't take it. So I finally said it. It was too late. Far too late. But I said it.

"I love you!"

And he stopped. Then he turned to look at me. His eyes were red and I could see he was about to start crying. He moved two steps closer to me. And I wanted to reach out and grab his hand. But I couldnt. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to do that again.

"Do you really Luke?" His words came out just above a whisper. "Because I don't think that you really do. And maybe you tried to show it. You held me. And you kissed me. And you slept with me. And you fell asleep with me. And maybe that was your way of showing that you love me. But I don't think that really proves it. Because what kind of boyfriend doesn't tell his parents that he's seeing someone? Seven months into our relationship and we are still the only people who know. You couldn't tell your best friends? You couldn't tell your family? Your own parents? Yeah Luke. I'm sorry I missed the signs. I'm sorry that I couldn't see that you really loved me." His words were like venom and it made me step away. But he kept going. "And sure, I could have understood keeping it from fans. That's approval from millions of people and obviously not everyone is going to accept it. But your own parents? Luke they love you. How couldn't they accept you? You may love me Luke, but you aren't in love with me."

Ashton started to walk away from me again. I could see the tears about to fall from his eyes. But he held them in. He was strong.

"Ashton wait!"

"What Luke." He kept going but he slowed his pace.

"Where are you going?"

And then he stopped. I saw his shoulders shake. His whole body trembled. And then he turned his head. His gaze was on the floor and after what seemed like an eternity, his gaze met mine.

"I'm going home."

"To London." I didn't say it like a question.

He shook his head and let out a sharp laugh and smiled. But it wasn't a happy smile. It wasn't his normal smile. This smile scared me.

"No Luke. Not London. London isn't where my home is."

He stood in front of the elevator and pressed the button. I stared at him through my blurred vision as he stared at the closed doors.

When they finally opened, he turned to me before he stepped on. The tears were finally falling down his face as he looked at me.

"I loved you too Luke."

And for the first time since we'd known each other, he was the one to walk away.

~

It's exactly midnight so there's that

It's also Ashton's birthday tomorrow so there's also that

And there are 6 chapters left. And an epilogue. So there's that too.

And I hear a noise outside and I'm slightly scared. It's not my uncle (insider not creepy)

And goodnight or morning or whatever time it is wherever you are

-ash