Thirty Seven

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   Four days, six hours, twenty two minutes. That's how long she's been gone. Call me crazy, because right now I think I might be. Andrew's is convinced she left. Everyone is, I am. I'm going crazy, I'm pissed, I'm...

I don't even know. But she actually left. No goodbye, see you later, just a big fuck you I'm out. She's gone.

Gwen refuses to believe it, she's in denial. She and Arden didn't leave off on good terms. Maybe that's why she left, that and me. She got in a fight with the two people closest with her. Fuck.

I'm an ass.

Why couldn't I just accept it? Why couldn't I just say it's fine and move on? Why did she have to leave?

I knew she didn't want to be here, but I thought that changed. I laugh, I thought I could change how she felt. Idiot.

There's a knock on my door. I'm not surprised to open it and see Lily.


Her usual straight blonde hair is pinned back. It contrasts Arden's brown waves.

   "Lily." I greet with a smile.

   "Will." She smiles up at me. Both her and Arden have blue eyes. But where Arden's are bright and electric, Lily's are soft and innocent.

   Everything about Lily is innocent. And then there's Arden, anything but. I should stop thinking about her, stop comparing Lily to her. Because Arden's gone, and Lily's not. It's not fair to Lily.


   Fuck. I can't do this. It's not fair to any of us.


   "I want you to kiss me." I'm stunned by her words.


   "Kiss me." She says, stepping in closer. What. The. Fuck.

   "Lily..." I move back a step. I don't know what has gotten into her.

   Anger flares into her eyes. "Why not? Is it because of her?" Yes, No. Fuck.

   "I'm sorry." That's all I could think of to say.

   She lets out a sad laugh. "So am I." I raise my eyebrow in question. "I'm sorry that you have to care for a girl when she doesn't think twice about you." Ouch.


   "I'm sorry that you're hurt and in pain. All for a girl who doesn't deserve it. You deserve better." Did I?

   "I don't know what you want me to say Lily."

   She takes a step closer. "Nothing. Don't say anything. Just kiss me. I can help take anyway the hurt you feel." I don't move when she takes another step. Could she take it away? Would she be enough?

   She's barley inches away from me. If she went on her toes, and if I pushed my head down just a bit...

   "Will?" A voice from the door. Both Lily and I's head snap towards the door. There was Gwen and Carter. I don't miss the flash of anger on Gwen's face.

   Gwen gets those a lot whenever she catches me and Lily alone. She's convinced she feels something for me. I know she tells herself that to hide her feelings for the person she actually likes. I wish she would just admit it. I wish Levi would grow a pair and tell her he feels the same way.

   "Andrews needs to see all of us." Carter says, scratching the back of his neck.

   I look at Lily, then back at them. "Now." Gwen crosses her arms.

   I sigh, "Yea, ok."

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