Fourty Two

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I wanted to take it all back. I curse myself for having to ruin everything. I could of stayed there, held her, loved her. But I chose to hurt a girl who was already broken. Take her shattered pieces, and break them even more.

I would never take back what I did that day I killed the man. I would never change any of my actions I've made since the day I met her. Even with the blood stained on my hands, she didn't look at me differently. It was terrifying. How I could do something so bad, yet she still looked at me as if I was her hero. So I did what I had to do. I let her go.

I knew she loved me. She could of pretended she didn't all she wanted, but I knew. I knew the second I woke up in bed and she was still there. Tracing my jaw with her finger. Tracing every inch of my face and chest. I wanted to see how long it would be until she left, but she never did.

I believe we were destined to fall in love, there's no arguing that. I just don't believe we were destined to last.

And though she saw herself as darkness, she was not. She was something I couldn't put into words.

   As I look back I realize, I did not live until I met Arden Pierce. I used to be so content with my life, thought I was happy. But I couldn't live how I used to now.

Maybe that's why I was so angry. Maybe that's why it hurt so bad. Why was it fair for me to live and breath for a girl, who did not think I was enough to live for?

   I shouldn't have to, and I won't.

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