Little Do They Know

Prologue

I've always wanted to start fresh. I've always wanted a clean slate, away from the drama of the past and the trauma that came alongside it. I've never been too comfortable staying in one place, for long periods of time. Ever since I was young, I've moved around. I've lived in all different places around the world, but throughout all that movement, only one thing stayed the same - football.

Growing up in Europe, was something I wish I could relive. When my parents were alive and happy, and I was surrounded by love and laughter. Being an eight year old, you don't realise how amazing you have it, until it's gone. You don't understand the privilege that you have, until you no longer have it.

When I moved back to Massachusetts, it was a shock to the system. I didn't want to go back. I wanted to stay in Europe, with the life I had been leading, but when my parents died, I couldn't stay. I had to go back to America. I had to live with my Aunt and Uncle. My Mum was American, but my Dad was Dutch. Hence, my name. Bradie. Bradie Van Dyk.

I spent the next 14 years of my life in Boston. I'd never stayed in one place for so long, but that's where my family was. Well, what was left of it at least. Aunt Josie and Uncle Peter were good to me. They provided what they could, and helped me get through my teenage years without my parents. The one thing my parents asked for was to make sure I was able to continue football. To make sure that I was still able to play the sport I loved. And Josie and Peter agreed. They would've done anything to make sure that I was able to fulfil my parents wishes.

I continued playing in Massachusetts, and got quite good. Very good, actually. I got a full ride scholarship to Boston College to play football. Americans call it soccer, but I can't bring myself to do that. Dad always called it football, and so will I.

Playing college football was insane. I loved it. I loved the environment, and the girls I was surrounded with. Everyone was trying their best to make it to the professional level. We all had ambitions to play in the NWSL and I knew I was going to do everything to get there. Even if that meant accepting the abuse I received. Even if that meant hiding my truth. We've all got to do everything possibly to make it pro, right?

When the 2017 draft happened, I was excited. There were a lot of rumours floating about who would be the #1 draft pick, and it was thrilling. The Portland Thorns had the first round pick, and they would be the ones deciding. That filled me with fear, but also excitement. Excitement about the future.

"Portland Thorns have selected, for the number 1 pick in the 2017 NWSL draft," the speaker said over the loudspeaker, "Bradie Van Dyk, from Boston College." When I heard my name, something lit up inside of me. I ran up to Josie, and wrapped my arms around my aunt.

"We're so proud of you," Peter said.

"Your parents are so proud of you," Josie added. I smiled at them, knowing I had done it. I had done what my parents wished for me. I was going professional.

It was slightly nerve wracking to be moving to the complete other end of the country. Portland is as far away as one could get from Boston, but it was going to be an experience. I knew it would. I was excited to start playing for a team that wanted me. For a team that valued who I was, not only as a player, but also a person.

When I arrived in Portland in 2017, it was incredible. There were so many amazing players that I knew I was going to be able to grow and develop so much. Players such as Tobin Heath, Lindsey Horan, and Christine Sinclair. The team was stacked and I knew I was going to be pushed, but I was excited for that. I was excited to be surrounded by players who were so much better than me. It was the perfect opportunity to learn.

In Portland, I met Emily. At first I saw her as nothing more than a ridiculously funny and humorous defender, but once I dove deeper into who she was, I found that she is more than what meets the eye. She's clever, and whitty, and sweet, and loving. We got together at the end of the 2017 season. After a full year of just being friends, we both realised that we loved each other. It was inevitable. We were inevitable. I loved her. I truly, and utterly loved her.