Little Do They Know

Chapter 14 - Willow

When I was a teenager, I went down a bad path. A path that not many people even recognised. Losing your parents, and living as a new person, was something not many people understood. Although changing your name, for most people, shouldn't seem like a big deal, but, for me, it was. I was leaving behind my parents. I was leaving behind my old life. I was creating a new identity for myself that was rooted in a new name. I was no longer Willow, I was Bradie. I was no longer a Meyer, I was a Van Dyk. My history was erased by the creation of Bradie Van Dyk.

"Ready to train?" Press asked me, as we were on our way to training. Tobin was currently injured, so only two Americans would be playing for United on the weekend.

"Yeah," I said, unconfidently.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I replied, laughing. Although, I was lying. I was nervous. I hadn't seen Jackie since we talked, and something about what happened, still sits funny within my stomach. My whole body seizes with fear when I remember she that knows. Remember that she knows who I am, or who I used to be, at least.

"It's Villa, on the weekend," Press added, "so, we can relax that it won't be City or Arsenal or Chelsea, I guess."

When we arrived at training, I saw her. Her long hair was blowing in the cold Manchester breeze, and I couldn't help but be mesmerised. Something about her just gave me the simultaneous feelings of nervousness and excitement.

Training went fairly well. As we practised transitions, Jackie and I did what we knew best. We combined. Goals were flowing from every which way, and something about our connection filled me with confidence. I knew we had something special. Really special.

"Good job," I said to Jackie, going over to her after training and giving her a high five. When I did, she grabbed my hand, and pulled me in for a hug. This was getting more and more unexpected.

"You did great, Willow," she whispered into my ear. When she said my name, it reminded me of good times. Times when my parents were alive, and I was travelling with them. It brought me back to something I missed. I smiled at her, and replied.

"That name is a secret," I laughed.

"I guess I'll be the only one using it then."

After training, I headed home. I opened up an album that I hid under my bed, and flicked through the photos. Pictures of my parents filled my eyes, and small tears started falling. I didn't have many photos of them, and this album was my last memory. I saw our smiling faces, and them in uniform. They were happy, and alive. Something that, for the past 16 years, I had nearly forgotten.

I'll always be Willow. I knew that. I knew deep down that was who I was. But I couldn't be her, and I don't think I'll ever be able to again.

As I sat on my bed, I heard my phone ring. As I looked at the name, it was Emily. I realised, in that moment, that I hadn't spoken to her in a while. It had been nearly a week since I had talked to her. It had been getting more difficult, every day, to remember to ring.

"Hey," she said, as I accepted the face time.

"Hi," I replied, looking at her goofy smile through the phone.

"How are you?" She asked, slightly awkwardly. I laughed, at the weirdness that plagued her voice.

"I'm fine," I responded, smiling.

"You just haven't called in a while," Emily said.

"Neither have you," I answered.

"Touche."

"I've just been crazy busy," I said, honestly. "I'm going on Kelley's podcast."

"Really?"

"Why do you sound surprised?"