Little Do They Know

Chapter 42 - Sonnett

"I don't know what she's talking about," I said to Sam, trying to remain oblivious.

"Well, what's been happening? Have you moved on?" Sam asked. Should I tell her? Should I tell her about the confusing situation with Jackie?

"We broke up a while ago," I started to say, "me and Sonnett. And I wasn't going to sit around and wait for us to get back together so yeah, maybe I did move on."
"So, you're dating someone new?"

"Well, I'm not sure. It's complicated right now," I answered, trying to stay honest with my best friend.

"What do you mean? Who is it?" I looked at Sam after she asked this question, unsure of whether I wanted to open up. But I knew, deep in my heart, that if I could trust one person in this world, it would be her.

"It's Jackie. Jackie Groenen."

I spent the next twenty minutes explaining the entirety of the situation to Sam. I explained how Jackie was supported throughout the hardships over the past year and even though we had a rocky start, I trusted her and she trusted me.

"Wow, that was a turn around. I remember when you first thought she didn't even like you."
"I know," I answered, "things really do change so quickly."
"So, have you told Sonnett?"
"About what?"
"Jackie," Sam said.

"No," I replied, "I haven't talked to Sonnett since She Believes."

"I've noticed something," Sam then said.

"What?"
"She's no longer Emily to you."
"What?"
"You're calling her Sonnett. You never called her Sonnett before."
"Oh."
"So, it really is over between you two." Sam looked at me, her eyes staring into mine.

"Yeah, it is."
"Ok," she replied, "if you need anything, let me know." I loved my best friend. She was and is everything I needed. She had my back, even when I thought the whole world was against me.

"How have you been?" I asked her, as we sat down together in her living room.

"Honestly, it's been sort of crazy recently."
"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Not sure," she answered, "but this new season, not being in Manchester, has been refreshing."
"Was it really that bad?" I asked her.

"No, it wasn't bad," Sam replied, "but, it wasn't right. I just don't think it was a good environment." Whenever Sam brings up Manchester City, I am reminded of who the coach is. Trent. Trent Dyson. When I was a young, naive player, he took advantage of that. I didn't believe there was anything that I could ever do, and maybe that is something I just need to keep to myself. Who would believe me anyway? I was just an eighteen year old.

We headed the next day, both Sam and I, into camp. I hadn't seen the girls in a very long time. I knew it was going to be a fearful experience, as it was obvious that they were all going to have a lot of questions for me. It was inevitable.

When we walked inside the hotel, Sam and I were greeted by Kristie and Lynn. Their smiling faces warmed us into the environment that is often competitive.

"Hey girls," I said to them both.

"Little Miss Bradie Van Dyk!" Kristie said, "you have lots to tell us."

"Yes, yes. I know I do. But, maybe later? Okay?"
"Whenever you're ready," Kristie answered.

Most of the girls said hi to me, coming up and greeting me, especially because I left so suddenly after our last camp. It was nice being back in the USWNT environment. Being in Manchester, for the last few weeks, meant that I hadn't touched US soil since being with Jackie. Jackie. Jackie Groenen. She was prepping for the Euros, with her Dutch team, and I did miss her. Even though I didn't know what it meant or what we were, my head wouldn't stop thinking about her and my heart wouldn't stop beating for her. She had encapsulated me, unlike anyone had before. Except maybe...

"Sonnett," I said, looking up from my phone in the lobby.

"BVD," she answered.

Before we used to be Bradie and Emily, now we're Sonnett and BVD. Something about that reinforces what I already knew: we were over. We were done.

"How are you?" She asked me.

"I'm... getting there. How are you?" She looked away when I asked this, and I wasn't too sure why.

"I'm good," Sonnet answered, but not convincingly.

"We're okay, right?"

"I'm not sure, Bradie," she said, walking slowly away, "I'm honestly not sure."

Fuck.

Over the next few days, we trained in camp together trying to get ready for the CONCACAF tournament happening during the summer. It wasn't going to be the most difficult competition but if we won, we would get automatic qualification to the Olympics in Paris, which is what we definitely wanted. There was a lot to play for.

In camp, at that point in time, I was the designated nine. Carli had retired (thankfully), Alex and Megan were dropped last year, and Cat (who was playing the false nine role) had torn her ACL. For the first time in my USWNT career, there wasn't competition (or as much as there was before.) I was ready to prove, even more, to this world that it hadn't broken me. I was the best striker in the US, and I wasn't going to let my country down, even though it had let me down before.

note:

- lol guys im back. im so sorry about the long ass wait. but anyways hopefully they start coming more regularly <3