Protection

Overthinking

Angelina

After we got dressed for the day which took me awhile we buried our baby outside by the flower bed. It was just me and Grey, we decided to keep it secret for awhile.

Afterwords Grey bought me some food and laid down in bed with me all day, i couldn't find the strength in my body to do anything besides read.

"I love you" he whispered into my ear placing soft kisses along my neck.

I smile looking up into his eyes, "I love you too" I wrapped my leg over his waist snuggling into him. I want to be close to him. I really, really want to be close to him. I don't know what i'd do without him. My Greyson.

"Please come any closer" i narrow my eyes at him, i would if i could.

"You know what's sad" i spoke softly, my eyes tearing up.

He sighs caressing my cheek, "You don't smell like Greyson" His eyes widen in shock.

He's too stunned to speak.

"You used to smell like sugar cookies and vanilla, now you smell like mint and manly" he laughs shaking his head, he really laughed at me when i'm pouring my heart out to him?

"It's not funny, man" I turn around so my back is now facing him, i grab my book off my bed stand, Priest. Yes, i have a bad habit of starting books and never finishing them. Not because their bad, but because i get side tracked.

Such a good book, and i just got to the best part.
Where he anoints her with oil as he takes her from behind.

Greyson wraps his arm around my chest placing a kiss along my shoulder.

"What ya reading baby"

"Oh nothing"

I feel so lonely right now. I feel like a whole part of me is gone. Maybe drowning myself in reading all day will pull the pain away from me.

I swear the pains just eating me alive.

"Oo priest" i nod my head, my eyes roaming over the letters, just as i get to where he thrusts himself into her the books out of my hands.

"Hey Greyson! I was reading that. Let me drown my feelings in smut please!" I have no energy to argue.

"Oh my go- Youre into this?" Is it hard to believe? You carved your initials into me making me cum from the pain.

Fuck. You. Mean?

A smirk takes place unto his lips shortly disappearing as his jaw drops. Didn't you get enough from Punk 57, and Birthday Girl?

"Can i please have it back? It's making me feel better"

It's not. Nothing can make me feel better. I just lost my fucking baby.

Let me just read or drink it all away. All the pain. I want it gone. Every. Last. Drop.

"Hm we should try this sometime" I burst out laughing, the first happiness i felt all day. I clutch my stomach as it still hurts almost crying at the fact. He puts the book away cupping my face, my laughing coming to a stop.

"If you want we can try for another one? When you're ready?" I shake my head no, i don't think i'll ever be ready.

Ever.

Plus we have Ray to think about. I miss Ray so much, Alo has been with her forever.

He nods his head, "alright, my love"

_____Day later______

Angelina

I woke up at 10:25 from Greysons warm body heat making me sweat.

I push him off me taking a sip of water that was placed on top of my nightstand.

"Good morning" Greyson grumbles turning over.

I cock my brow up in confusion swallowing my water.

"What." Greyson squints his eyes open as the little nightstand light makes way into his eyes.

"Oh fuck what time is it" I glance at my phone seeing i have a bunch of miscalls from unknown numbers.

"10:27" He nods his head placing a pillow over his dick, "And what was that for?" i ask tossing it to the other side.

"Morning wood?"

Oh, i blush a little turning away.I'm still not used to the whole thing if i'm totally honest, but i wouldn't change it for the whole, gloomy world.

I put all my will power i have and straddle him, i rest my head on his tattooed chest tracing him arm tattoo with my finger. And there it goes again. My stomach still hurts like ass.

"Don't do that"

"Do what" i smile sheepishly, of course i know what i'm doing, and i love his reaction out of him.

"You know you're just to stubborn to admit it" oh honey, i ain't to stubborn to admit anything. Yes you are-

"We're a boring couple" i say a wide grin grazing across my lips. Greyson sits up in shock wrapping his arms around my shoulders, "what"

Ow.

"You know we don't do anything, every book i read has a lot of shit they do, trust me im not trying to make you feel bad. honest. "

For a short second i could've sworn a twinkle of hurt was in his dark eyes but in a matter of a blink it went away. I probably imagined it to be honest.

"I try to do stuff and i want to, but it's hard being a dad and you know trying to protect you from a murderer 24/7 gets exhausting." he smiles innocently making me nuzzle more unto him. Our naked bodies colliding.

His warm tan body leaning against my own softly as he rubs my back, i don't know how to feel. Sometimes i feel as if it would be better if i just left Greyson. So he wouldn't have to constantly be away from his daughter while he's trying to protect me. Now that i think about it i probably put a whole strand on their relationship.

Fuck.

Greyson seems to sense the tension in my shoulder as i realize it myself slumping my shoulders back.

"What's up, love?" i shake my head resting on him. Maybe we aren't meant to be and maybe it's the world saying so. Stop overthinking it. He loves you.

But i have no clue where these thoughts come from. And the only thought that i hear deep inside me is screaming at me to leave. Screaming at me to get my act together. Screaming at me to stop participating in this. Screaming at me that this is all my doing.

Maybe it is.

I'm so done.