Emotions

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JAZELLE POV

I decided to continue my treatment at this place. Dad transferred me to a private hospital that has good facilities for cancer patients. Everyone supported me and cared for me. Dylan, Jonas, Sara, and Dad took their turn to stay at the hospital; to accompany me. Whereas A, T, B, and Q often visit me in the hospital. 

Speaking of which, thanks to Diana, dad seems to loosen up a bit. She was there for me too.

Due to the chemotherapy, my hair started to fall and I lost weight. Sometimes I feel like I'm going through much pain, sometimes I feel like I want to hate myself for being ugly, sometimes I want to end all of this and die... but...

I want to live... I want to fight this...

Dad brings me around the hospital garden. I was in the wheelchair, wearing the patient's dress with a beanie hat.

''This is your mom's letter for me'', Dad showed me a letter. ''I heard you talking with your friends last time'', he said. ''That you have Dyslexia''

I nodded. ''It was not mom's fault. I begged not to tell you since I didn't want you to hate me'', I said sadly.

''I would never hate you Jazelle'', he held my hand. ''But the fault is mine. I've never paid attention to you. I wish I could spend more time with you. I chose to ignore you; thinking that you are fine'', his expression looked sad. 

''Maybe if you spoiled me, I would have turned into a bad girl or involved in bad activities'', I told him. ''Mom always told me that everything happened for a reason. I worked hard to make you proud, I worked on my own to be strong, and make good friends'', I smiled.

''It's true that I feel like you didn't give much attention but maybe this is for the better. I'm glad you are with me now. This is more than enough for me'', I laid my head on his shoulder.

''I'm proud of you'', Dad whispers.

I smile. ''Read mom's letter for me'', I requested.

Mom loves dad so much. Same goes for dad. But the problem is they never confessed. Mom said that she loves dad so much and is willing to do anything for him include bringing his past lover. She mentioned that she met Diana and Diana was such a wonderful woman. She also asked dad to pursue his happiness after her death. She said she has faith in Diana that she will take good care of dad and us and also pressed him to do the same for Diana's daughter. In the end, she said she had to go and ask him to be happy forever.

Mom is really great....

Dad receives a call and he walks forward to get the call.

''Hey princess'', I smile seeing Jonas in front of me. ''I'm so envious of your dad. He took all the time for you without giving me any time'', he scoffed.

I laugh softly. ''Here, for you'', he gives me a chocolate bar.

''My mom wrote a letter for my dad before she died'', I told Jonas. ''Dad just read it for me. It was just sad that they couldn't confess their love to each other'', I smile lightly. ''If something happened to me, I want you to know that I love you so much, Jona'', I palm his cheek and smile.

''Don't give me that'', suddenly Jonas looked upset. ''Y...you cannot say this now'', he looked anxious.

''Jonas'', I raise my hand to him but he stands up without noticing me.

''You cannot leave me...''

Jonas was talking about something but I can't hear anything. You cannot leave me, that's the last sentence I heard before I collapse. 

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