Game of Thrones - One Shots/Imagines: Part Three

Theon Greyjoy X Stark!Reader - I'm Trying

A/N - This chapter was inspired by the song 'I'm Trying (Not Friends)' by Maisie Peters. This song came along at the absolute perfect time in my life and now I've got this ridiculous connection to it, so this chapter just felt right to me. I hope you all enjoy it.

You hated to admit it, but you had been avoiding Theon ever since he'd broken up with you. Seven Hells, you lived in the same damn building as the man, your bed chambers were three doors down from his, and you'd still managed to keep out of his way for three whole weeks. 

In all honesty, you'd never thought you'd ever have to go through the awkward stage. You'd expected your relationship to last forever. It was supposed to be perfect, and Gods, you were so in love with him that, of course, you'd assumed things were going well. And now, you were the one struggling for breath when he walked into the same room as you, smiling that lopsided smile that had always filled your stomach with butterflies before, and now left you feeling queasy. It wasn't fair. You were supposed to have the happy ending, and he'd gone and ruined it by leaving you.

You had watched him as he came waltzing out into the courtyard, and suddenly you weren't enjoying just sitting around and basking in the unseasonably nice weather you'd been having. 

You pushed yourself off of the fence you'd been perching on a little bit too quickly, shooting Sansa a rather unconvincing faux smile. "I'm going to go and see if Mother needs any help with-"

"Don't go," she whined, gripping your hand in hers and pouting at you. "Please. He won't even come over here," she pressed on, pulling you back towards the spot beside her. "And if he does, I'll tell him to go away and stop bothering us."

Something about the way she was so certain of herself had always made you envious. Of course, she would happily tell Theon to go away if he started trying to make conversation, and she wouldn't have an ounce of shame in doing so. 

"He's awful, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy yourself," she murmured, her brows furrowed tightly. 

You let out a soft sigh, reaching up to smooth down the lines between her eyebrows. "Stop frowning or you'll end up as wrinkly as Old Nan," you uttered, letting a small smile pull at your lips. "And then we would have no choice but to be old crones together, living up at the very top of the tallest tower and scaring the children with our stories," you added, causing her to snort at you. 

"You aren't going to be an old crone," she told you, shaking her head slightly. "Just because he doesn't see how wonderful you are doesn't mean you'll never marry-" You raised an eyebrow at her comment. "I bet you'll be betrothed within a month of us reaching King's Landing," she pressed on. "And you'll fall madly in love with some Lord of some far off house and you'll be far happier than you ever would've been with some stupid little boy like Theon Greyjoy." 

"What have I done this time?" 

Your entire body tensed when you heard his voice behind you, your eyes widening as you stared at Sansa's bright red cheeks. She looked almost as flustered as you were as her mouth opened and closed, trying to find some ridiculous excuse as to why you had been gossiping about Theon in the first place.

"Come on, spit it out," he pressed on, moving forward until he could look at both of you at the same time. "Seven Hells, if neither of you says something soon I'm going to start worrying that whatever happened to Hodor is spreading," he muttered, raising an eyebrow at you until you cleared your throat.

"We were just talking about our trip to the capital," you murmured, the lie sounding completely false the moment it had come out. "We were trying to figure out whether Father would want you to come with us or not."

He snorted. "You're a shit liar." 

"That's no way to speak to a lady, Greyjoy," Sansa bit back, looking every bit the angry pup that she was, getting her back up with no way of following through. 

Theon's smirk spread at her comment. "Yeah, but Y/N isn't just any old lady, is she? She doesn't need me bowing and talking all pretty for her-"

"Actually," you started, interrupting him and swallowing around the lump in your throat. "I think that given the recent change in our-" you paused, searching for the right word "- situation, you should start using my correct titles again, My Lord." 

His smirk had dropped as quickly as it had come to his features, his brows furrowed. "But-" his words trailed off. "I thought we were friends."

You shook your head. "We aren't friends. We never were," you murmured, biting down on the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from melting down right there in the middle of the courtyard in front of practically everyone you had ever met. "Friends don't treat each other like you treated me," you added with a small shrug. You quickly turned your attention back to Sansa. "I'm going to go and see if Mother needed any help," you told her, turning on your heel and marching for the closest door as quickly as you could without running. 

It hadn't taken long for Theon to close the distance, the door clattering open again when you were hardly halfway down the hallway. "Y/N," he called out, his shoes slapping against the stone floors as he followed. "Y/N, please-"

"Please what?" you growled, turning on your heel. "What could you possibly want from me now?"

He looked a little taken aback by the venom in your voice, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip as you glared in his direction. "I wanted to make sure you were alright," he murmured, letting his words fall flat between you until you let out a sharp chuckle.

"Are you joking? You made me believe that you loved me. You told me that you wanted to marry me and you wanted me to have your children. And then you turn around and tell me that, actually, we're better off as just friends, and I don't get a say in that, do I? I don't get to say, 'no, I'm pretty happy as we are' because you always get what you want, don't you?" your words trailed off. "And then, you go galavanting off to visit every whore under the sun, and you make me sit here and watch as you are completely fine whilst I am miserable because you left me, Theon. And now you want to know if I'm alright?" You let out a deep sigh. "Do you want me to clear your conscience and tell you that I'm fine? Because that isn't going to happen. I am broken. I love you and you don't want me anymore. How were you expecting me to feel?" 

"I didn't-"

"I am trying to be mature about this, okay? I am trying to keep my distance and remember that you aren't mine, but I can't do that if you keep acting as if nothing happened. You need to grow up and admit that you hurt me and that we aren't ever going to be friends." 

Theon nodded, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry." Well, that was new. In all the time that you had known Theon, he had never apologised for anything before, and now here he was, accepting the blame for what had happened. "I fucked up. I shouldn't have ended things-" He shifted on the spot for a moment. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want to go back to what we had."

Gods, the words were enough to make you feel sick. All you had wanted, from the moment that Theon had ended things, was for him to come back, but now, you were wondering whether letting him in so easily would be a mistake. He had been having the time of his life without you, and you would always resent him for how he'd treated you, no matter how hard he tried to gain your forgiveness. 

"No."

His brows knitted together at the single word, and he had never looked so confused before. "What-"

"No. I deserve better," you reiterated, giving a small shrug. "I deserve someone who's certain that they love me and who won't throw me out the moment they get bored again." 

"But I love you."

Your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip. "Well, that isn't enough for me anymore." 

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