Game of Thrones - One Shots/Imagines: Part Three

Theon Greyjoy X Stark!Reader - First Burn

A/N - this chapter is based on the song 'First Burn' by Ari Afsar, Julia Harriman, Lexi Lawson, Rachelle Ann Go, and Shoba Narayan. This song was originally written as part of the Hamilton musical but was eventually cut from the final piece. I hope you all enjoy it. 

The letters Theon had written you when you were young had always brought you a sense of calm. When he was riding into battle they made you feel like he was with you, and when you hadn't heard from him in weeks they made you feel safe. But now they made you feel sick to your stomach. 

"Listen to this one," you murmured, glancing up at Sansa who was watching you with a deep frown. Your eyes flitted back to the paper, ignoring the concerned gaze of your sister. "As long as I'm alive you will never be harmed," you read out, releasing a soft scoff and shaking your head. "He's been lying to me since day one."

"He was always wild," she uttered, moving to sit opposite you and taking the letter from your hands. 

You nodded slightly, leaning back in your seat with a deep sigh. "I know, but I at least thought he would respect me enough to hide his infidelity from the other lords. How am I ever going to be able to look any other lady in the eye now that they know he needs satisfaction elsewhere? How do I explain to my children why the others laugh at us now?" 

A knock on the door silenced Sansa's response, and she quickly got to her feet to open it. "What do you want?"

"I need to see my wife." You swallowed around the lump in your throat, pressing your eyes closed. 

"She doesn't want to see you." 

You heard the small sigh from the other side of the room. It was the sort of sound that would have broken your heart had the circumstances been different. "Let him in." As soon as you set eyes on your husband you regretted the decision, your eyes filling with tears. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" 

Sansa made a hasty exit from the room, leaving you alone in your chambers with Theon.

"I didn't mean to-"

"What? You didn't mean to hurt me? You were fucking another woman in our home, and then as soon as you get the chance you go running your mouth to other lords. How else did you think I would feel?" 

Theon dipped his head, taking a deep breath.

"In years to come, when our children go to the capital, you will be the one who explains the rumours. You will be the one that sits down and tells them that you broke my heart because you couldn't keep your cock to yourself. And you will tell them that the reason everyone knows is because you couldn't keep yourself from bragging about your affair." Your voice broke on the last few words, and Theon glanced up at you with tears in his eyes.

As he took a step towards you, you shook your head, moving away from him. "Y/N, please."

"You don't get to touch me."

"You're my wife," he uttered, shifting on the spot slightly.

"That didn't seem to mean anything when you were fucking someone else, did it?" His eyes fluttered shut as you stared at him, your face sterner than he had ever seen it before. "My father would have been so disappointed in you." 

"Don't you dare-"

"I mean, we all knew that you liked to sleep around before, but we at least expected you to attempt to reign it in once we were married." You paused for a moment. "I at least hoped that you loved me enough to limit yourself to just me."

Theon moved to the table, taking a seat and placing his head in his hands. "I do love you." 

"Clearly," you spat. 

"I have loved you since the day I first met you," he started again, hearing you let out a soft scoff. 

"You're a liar."

Theon reached out, gathering up the letters and flipping through them. "Here," he started, holding one up. "The first letter I ever wrote to you. I told you that you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen." You shook your head, attempting to ignore his words. You knew the letters off by heart by now, you'd read them so many times over the years. "And here, I tell you that I have never been more happy than when I'm with you."

"How do you expect me to believe that you care about me when you have gone out of your way to hurt me?" you uttered, moving forward and gathering up the letters, crushing the pristine paper. "Your words mean nothing to me now," you added, marching yourself towards the fireplace and throwing them into the flames. Your chest tightened as you watched the letters burn, removing the comfort blanket you had clung to for so long. "I may be your wife, but you do not get to claim you love me anymore," you murmured, your words catching in your throat as you sunk to the ground in front of the fire. 

The tears flowed freely now, making tracks down your face. "Y/N," he murmured, placing his hand on your shoulder until you flinched away from him.

"Don't touch me." He pulled his hand away as if you had burned his skin, watching you carefully as you glanced up at him. "You're going to stop seeing that girl, and we are going to let the world know that we are stronger than your slip up. To them, you will be the doting husband that I thought I had. But in here, you are nothing to me. Do you understand?" 

He nodded. "I'm sorry." 

You released a deep breath, slumping down to sit on the stone floor and watching as he moved to sit beside you, both of you staring into the flames. "Why did you do it?" He glanced over at you with furrowed brows, confusion clear on his features. "Was I not enough for you?" 

"After the children were born you wouldn't even let me touch you," he uttered, letting his eyes drift closed. "I know it makes no difference, but I thought you didn't love me anymore." 

"And instead of speaking to me, you fucked the first woman to throw herself at you?" 

"I was hurt. And I know that it was stupid, I just-" he paused for a moment, clearing his throat. "I didn't know how to say no to her. She wanted me so badly, and I practically had to beg you to let me touch you." 

"Please stop. You don't get to blame me for this."

He sighed slightly. "I'm not blaming you." You glanced over at him, wiping the tears from your cheeks. "If I could go back and change everything, I would."

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