Desire - Merddison

Chapter Eight

Addison's POV

A week and a half or so had passed now, and each time I try to speak to Meredith, she comes up with some way to avoid me. I was due to head back to New York, until I had a new patient. A tiny little premature baby, and it wasn't looking good.

I ended up needing a consult on the baby from neuro, more precisely, Derek. I was also waiting on whatever intern I was going to be assigned today.

Moments later, I'm stood by the incubator just watching over this sweet little baby along with Izzie Stevens whilst Derek was flipping through her chart. All three of us just surrounded by silence.

"Where's the mother?" Asks Derek, finally breaking the seemingly never ending silence.

"Gone. She stuck around long enough to get the kid strung out and then took off. Nice, huh?" I sigh, feeling heartbroken for this little baby who's been given a crappy start in life.

"Addison!" Derek says to me, frustrated. He knew exactly what I was wanting. For him to perform surgery on this infant, to give her a chance.

"Derek, I know it's a long shot. I know that."

"You told me you had a newborn with an invasive mass. You failed to mention that she's premature, underweight and addicted to narcotics. There's no way that this baby is going to survive spinal surgery." But how does he know that? If he isnt even going to bother to try, then how does he know that?

"You don't know that." I sigh back to him.

"Even if she does, she's a mess. She'll just get meningitis, seizures. She's going to live a short painful life."

I just repeat my previous words, "You don't know that."

"It's my job to know that."

"You're not God, Derek." I say to him, growing more and more frustrated.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry honey but you're not. You don't get to decide.."

"Wait, did you just call me honey?" He interupts me, and I try to talk again before he cuts in again, "Don't call me honey."

I glance over at my intern for the day and see she is becoming more and more uncomfortable, but I brush it off because right now I'm having a discussion with my husband.

"Fine. You're not God, Dr Shepherd. Look if a patient has any chance of survival, which I think she does, then you have a responsibility.."

"Don't talk to me about responsibility." He cuts me off yet again.

"You took an oath, Derek!" I say back, slowly raising my voice.

"Oh don't you dare talk to me about oaths!" he shouts back.

"Derek, I messed up. People mess up."

"You slept with my best friend in my favourite sheets."

"The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets." I don't know how why or how I remember what sheets were on the bed when I was sleeping with Mark, but somehow I do.

"No I loved the sheets."

"You like the Italian sheets with paisleys.."

"Would you just stop talking about the sheets?" He interupts me again.

"Fine!" I snap back to him.

"Look, I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go, I'll check on the labs." Izzie says as she excuses herself from the room. I head back over to the incubator feeling upset about this fragile little baby who isn't being given a chance at life at all.