Desire - Merddison

Chapter Thirty Two

Meredith's POV

"Your father's not here. He's at Harvard Med visiting Lexie. We though we had a lot of time I mean, Molly's only 36 weeks along, and Dr Montgomery has been trying to stop the contractions but I guess the baby's ready to come." Susan says to me, but in all honestly, it's going through one ear and out the other. There's just so much awkwardness filling the room, painful awkwardness. I never know what to say to her. I mean, I've met her once before and it was uncomfortable then and it's uncomfortable now. She talks as if we know each other, or as if I'm part of the family. But lets face it, I'm not part of the family, Thatcher didn't fight to stay around, he didn't bother with me for years, no birthday cards, no Christmas cards.

"Well do you need anything else or..." I begin to say.

"Actually I could use an intern for this case. Can you ask Dr Bailey for someone?" Addison asks me, sensing how uncomfortable I was feeling. I would say to get another intern on the case, but that would mean hearing about it from them, hearing about my 'niece', hearing about my 'sister, and Susan, and my father.

"I'll do it." I say simply back to Addison. She tilts her head a little bit, and she has a look in her eye. A look as if to see if I'm okay with it that I don't have to do this if I don't feel comfortable doing it. But part of me also thinks she knows what I'm thinking and why I've said that I'll do it.

"You sure?"

"I'm fine." I force a smile back. It's a lie. I'm not fine. Them being here isn't fine, but there's nothing I can do about it other than suck it up and get on with it. And Addison knows I'm not fine. She knows, but she understands. We share a look, a give her a subtle nod to tell her that I will do this. She gives me a soft smile back, mostly a smile of the eyes. If that's even a thing. I mean, it must be a thing because Addison does it and is doing it right now, as if she's sending a comforting message to me just be looking at me, and that instantly helps me a little bit, it makes me feel calmer.

"It'll be so nice to have a familiar face in the operating room. Thank you... for being here." Susan smiles gratefully to me. I'm not a familiar face, she's met me once, that isn't familiar. I'm not being there for them, in a way, I'm being there for myself. Because being there through it just seems like a better option than hearing about it all from a friend. It was bad enough finding out through a friend that I even had a sister, so I didn't want to hear about all of this like that either.

"It's my job... to be here. Does Molly know who I am?" I ask Susan.

"She doesn't. I wanted to tell her but your father.." figures, why am I not surprised?

"No.. it's better this way, it's good." That awkward uncomfortable feeling is creeping back in again. Every time she brings up my father, it gets awkward. There's a brief silence between all three of us until Addison breaks it.

"So I think Molly should be ready in the OR. Susan, you'll need scrubs and a cap."

"I'm going to be a grandmother." She replies to Addison excitedly.

"Yes, in about half and hour you will be a grandmother."

"Okay.. here we go."

"Here we go." Both Addison and I say. Susan walks away to go and get ready to be in the OR whilst we both stay back a bit.

"Are you sure about this sweetie?" Addison asks me, rubbing my shoulder and pulling me closer to her.

"Y- yeah, it'll be fine. We um, well we best be going down now to prep anyway." I quickly say, giving her a quick kiss before heading to the OR floor to get ready for the C-Section.

***

It's awkward. Awkward and uncomfortable. To a whole new level. Why on earth did I agree to scrubbing in? Why did I even go in to see them? I knew Susan would be there, and she just has a thing about trying to talk to me and make everything seem like it's a normal situation when it really isn't. I spent my whole life thinking I'm an only child and then this whole other 'family' pops up out of nowhere and suddenly I have a 'step-mom' and two half sisters. How many other secret families are out there? Are there any other siblings I have that I'm not aware of?