Desire - Merddison

Chapter Twenty Five

Meredith's POV

"The only reason we're talking like this right now is because I know you won't remember a single word of this when the drugs wear off."

I awake from my appendectomy, an appendix lighter, of course. But, I remember. I don't remember much of my morphine experience, but I do remember me and Addison talking. The whole conversation. I told her how I feel. She told me how she feels. But did she want me to forget it all? Does it mean that she wants me to forget what she said to me, how she told me what she feels for me? She wants me to forget all of that? Because I can't. It's something I can't erase from my mind because hearing those words meant everything to me. It's everything I've wanted to hear from her. Yet, she said we were only talking about all of that because she 'knows' I won't remember. Did she not want me to remember? Except I have remembered. I won't ever forget it and I know I won't. For some reason, that conversation is the only thing I remember whilst being on the morphine. I suppose because it was such an important thing to me, my brain just couldn't let me forget that sort of thing.

I sit myself up in my hospital bed, god these things aren't actually that comfortable. I wince a little as I move, forgetting in the moment that I've got an incision in my abdomen, even if it is small, so of course it will hurt when I move.

"Dr Grey, you're awake." Smiles Dr Bailey as she comes into my room with George.

"I am indeed."

"Well, the appendectomy went perfectly, you'll be out of here in one to two days and be back to your-" she begins to say

"Normal activities withing two to four weeks after leaving the hospital." I say in unison with her. "I know the drill." I smiled.

"So, who done my surgery then? Since George is in here too." I ask her, seeing George stood more to the corner, looking worried.

"O'Malley removed the appendix, inverted the stump into the cecum and pulled up on the purse strings perfectly."

"Wow. I mean, just cause the last time George scrubbed in on an appy he almost killed the guy... sorry George." I say quickly, trying not to laugh. I think I might still be slightly high from morphine. I'm finding it so hard not to laugh right now because he's stood further away, looking as if he is panicking.

"George, I'm alive, you can stop looking so worried now." I chuckle to him.

"We'll leave you to rest now." Dr Bailey says as they both exit the room, closing the door behind them. Now I'm left alone in the very loud silence, alone with my thoughts. As per usual, the thoughts are about Addison again. I need to know what she meant by what she said though. About me forgetting about the conversation once the morphine wore off. For now though, I feel exhausted, it's the joys of general anaesthetic.

***

I wake up again hours later, to see Derek standing by the door, smiling at me. What on earth could he possibly want?

"I notice I didn't see a vet come to visit you." He says to me, still smiling, looking glad about that. Of course once he and Addison were over he would come back to me. Months ago that would've been all I wanted, but now the only thing I want is to be with Addison. For months, I saw how disinterested he became with her, he didn't pay her the attention she deserved, he argued with her the majority out of the time, he got jealous about Finn and I, and he just didn't really seem to treat her that well. Granted, at one point that was kind of my fault since I was in a relationship with him, but I had no clue he was married. I know they both played a downfall in their marriage, me included, but Addison deserves so much better.

"I um, I broke up with Finn."

"Oh, what a coincidence, I broke up with Addison." He tries to say in a joking manner.