Pan's Redemption

Chapter 26 ~Feelings*

Wendy felt like she was caught in a deadly explosion. Not in her wildest dreams did she ever expect for this to happen.

Pan's lips were electric, but soft. The way he held her to him, for the first time she understood. The kiss was desperate, but adoring. She found herself leaning into it and kissing back. She understood everything. The fights, the lies, the fear. It was because he loved her, and somehow along all the hate and grief she carried through herself, she found solstice in it. She found herself loving him without even realizing it.

And then he was pulling away from her. He lit another flame to see her face, and she saw his. His eyes were on fire. Lit up in excitement and joy. She never saw anything so beautiful. His hair was sticking up in all different directions from her fingers running through it. His smile was different too. It wasn't an all knowing smirk. It wasn't a cold sneer. It was a smile. A real heart felt smile. She smiled back a little too slowly. Wendy saved him.

A couple more seconds to catch their breath and Pan whispered to her, "We should head back." A cold chill washed over her when she knew the reason for Pan looking behind them. That person was still out there. Pan clutched her closer for a moment and then released her. Wendy stumbled in the dark for his hand. When she found it, she remembered.

Tinkerbell was dead. Hook hated her. Felix loathed her.

It washed through her like a tidal wave. She had fell in love. Wendy had felt real happiness while all her friends were suffering. She didn't deserve to feel like this. She was more or less responsible for Tink's death. She released Pan's hand and ignored him when he looked down at her questionably.

Wendy had fallen for the enemy. The one that kept her from her only family, who locked her away in a cage. As she tried to summon up enough hate, it would all evaporate when she looked at his face. She thought of herself as a child. Just like that she had fallen in love with him. The first act of kindness and she was gone.

But really, Wendy knew it wasn't like that. What she and Pan had went through was a long and lasting war. Wendy had run away from her feelings for too long, thinking it was the hate that gave her the drive to continue to get away from him. The reality was that it was the fear. The fear of loving a monster. The fear of getting hurt again.

Still, part of her knew it was wrong. Loving someone who had thrown her in danger's path time and time again. Who has done horrible things to so many people. She shouldn't love him, she couldn't. It was whatever fate was pulling them together. That external energy. For the first time in so long, Wendy felt whole.

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Pan didn't know what happened. Telling her what he did to her family, he was expecting her to try to kill him. He didn't expect the reaction on her face. The smile with tears glistening in her eyes. It was all to much, and before he knew it he was kissing her with all he had. Everything he had held back for her sake came crumbling down. In that moment he didn't care if he was hurting her.

He was suddenly aware of her kissing him back and his world came shattering down. Not in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined that his Wendy Bird loved him too. Maybe she didn't. He could hardly care less. It was when he pulled away for air, that he sensed it.

The person was here. Watching them. The moment didn't feel like his own any longer. It took him everything he had not to chase them down. Wendy could get hurt! The voice inside his head warned him. He almost didn't listen to it, if not for Wendy's breathing against his neck. He clutched her closer and murmured a plea for them to head back to camp.

He wasn't conscious to the fact Wendy had grabbed his hand until she let go. When he looked down at her, her eyes looked far away and sad. He suddenly grew tense with anger. It was the thing that she had been holding back from him. The fact that Pan wasn't aloud to know. He saw it eating at her, killing the smile he held so dear. He wanted to know what was wrong and make it better for her. Somehow though, he wasn't so sure if he could fix it.

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Pan had left shortly after that.

"I saw them. They're close. I have to catch them." He snarled. Wendy sat on the bed of Pan's hut. He paced the floor over and over muttering something like 'I almost had them'. She didn't have anything to argue, although she tried in her head to come up with one. She was worried. She knew what that person was capable of. They killed before. She knew she had no right to argue to Pan about it. It was his island. He needed to make it safe again. Well, if you called a treacherous jungle safe.

And soon she was alone with his kiss still lingering on her cheek. She was lost again. If something happened to Pan, she would lose everything. She was barley holding on now. It was only because of him. He left Rudolph here to watch her. She knew she wasn't aloud to leave the hut. She wondered the room silently looking at the bamboo furniture. The temperature outside was freezing. She remembered her conversation with Pan, right before she had run off with Tink.

The weather mirrored his thoughts. Was he missing her as much as she was missing him? She doubted it, but rushed to his dresser to pull on one of Pan's usual warm long sleeved shirts with the collar ripped off. Her hair shielded her collarbone from the cold. She was about to shut the dresser when she had an idea.

"It's freezing outside. Take this." She threw the shirt at Rudolph, who was huddled in almost a ball at the front of the hut. It was worse outside. The icy winds cut clean through the skin, yet Rudolph wasn't shivering. His skin though, looked deathly pale.

"I don't need it." But he made no move to give it back.

She chuckled darkly, "Sure you don't." And shut the door behind her. She was starting to think of Rudolph as the old Felix. Annoying and bratty.

Wendy grew tired and became almost dead on her feet. She rushed to the furs of Pan's bed and threw herself under the covers. She fell asleep instantly and was still unconscious when it happened.

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"They have no idea of my identity?" The monotone voice asked uncertain. They had seen Pan and his Lost Boys. They considered making their lives just a tad unbearable, but decided against it. There would be better games to be played in time.

"No idea." Syrena repeated. She was as loyal and clueless as always. They knew about her plan to get rid of Pan. And Syrena knew that was not part of their plan. The only one that was up for killing was the Darling girl. They knew that they could not kill her without their plan falling apart, but if Syrena did it in secret, Pan would never have to know that his Wendy Bird was gone. That was where they would come in. But until they got their hand's on the girl, their plan could not begin.

And tonight was the perfect opportunity. Because his little bird was alone. Pan just made the worst mistake of his life...

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Wendy was awoken suddenly by a face she never thought she would see. At least, not on land.

Syrena leaned over her with vengeance in her eyes. Wendy bolted upright in bed almost head butting her. Terror washed through her as she thought about her deal. She was not about to kill Peter Pan.

"Come on, we have to go." Maybe Wendy could trick her. Wendy got up and followed her out the door. That was when she saw Rudolph's unconscious form in front of the hut. His dagger had slipped from his fingers and was laid out in front of him.

"Is he....?" Wendy's head spun.

"Dead?" She asked with a laugh. She looked at Wendy, her hazel eyes bright. "No, not yet."

Wendy followed her into the tree line feeling nauseous and terrified.

"Come on, it's our turn to play games." Syrena laughed and they disappeared into the trees. Wendy remembered Rudolph in the back of her head. He was wearing the shirt she threw at him.