The Heart of Camilo (A Camilo Madrigal x Reader Fem Y/N Story)

Longing

Mini Author's Note: My latest attempt at drawing Camilo is above :D For anyone interested, I made an instagram where I'll post my drawings after the amazing madisonloves101 encouraged me to, so if anyone wants to watch me slowly learn to draw, chat, share art or drawing advice, go find me there! It's the same handle as mine on here, kahaaniforever :D LOVE YOU GUYS!!

*Y/N*

Ten Months After the Wedding

Camilo's and Y/N's current age: 21 years old

I stood at the edge of the river, wondering what I was doing here. I had meant to walk straight home after helping Mirabel at her store, but ended up here instead. It felt like a million years since Camilo and I had run around here as little kids, where we had had our first real hug. I still thought about that day sometimes, when Mirabel had arrived and cut him off mid-sentence - Y/N, why don't we just-?  - and I realized I had never asked him what he was going to say that day. Granted, a lot had happened after that and we had been distracted. I smiled at the memory, but I still didn't turn towards home. I was turning 21 tomorrow. Every year leading up to my birthday, I was always plagued by thoughts of my parents - my mother in particular. After everything that had happened, it only intensified. I thought of the day I was born and how my parents must have felt to hold me. Watching Dolores and Mariano the last nine months since Ruben was born had been amazing to see - the love and dedication they had towards their only child. It was impossible to imagine they would ever get so lost that they would be at the point of abandoning them.

I sighed, looking up at the darkening sky, wondering how to clear this feeling from my chest. Camilo and I were living at our house again, Diego with us now. More and more Diego preferred to stay at our house instead of moving back and forth between Casita fairly regularly like we had since getting married. He had a girlfriend now, Lia, who he obviously liked to have at our house with more privacy than bringing her over to Casita with all the people there. But because he was 16 years old and in his first relationship, that meant I had to stay with him to make sure he stayed out of trouble. Camilo refused to sleep without me, but he often stayed late at Casita during the weeks we would have been staying there, wanting to be there for Ruben's bedtime. I struggled to balance being there for Diego and wanting to be there for Ruben, as well, as much as Camilo was. Sometimes it felt like we were parents already, and it made me wonder if I was more ready for children than I thought. But I knew that as much as I had that desire, it would be best to wait until Diego was 18 and needed a little less parenting himself.

I sighed again, shaking my head, trying to clear my thoughts of my parents and Diego and my future children, running my hands through my hair. Dusk was falling quickly, the sun glowing behind the trees. I knew it was time to go, even if I didn't feel ready, not to go home, not to turn 21.

"Y/N?"

I jumped, spinning around, only to see Camilo standing there, smiling at me. 

"I thought I'd find you here," he said, walking up to me, pulling me close to him, kissing me on the cheek. "Why didn't you come home?"

I sighed, not answering, knowing I didn't have to when I couldn't articulate myself, and hugged him tightly. He returned it, pulling me close, resting his head gently on mine. We stood there for a while, just holding each other, and I listened to his heartbeat in his chest and the sounds of the water, my eyes closed, wishing I could always find this kind of peace when I was overwhelmed.