The One Where The Lines Get Kinda Blurry

The One With The Coffee Bean

They had sat in David's car for at least another hour, trying to think of different ways they could solve their dilemma, but whatever they said or came up with, they always arrived back at the same heart wrenching conclusion....... this was not going to work out, at least not like this it wasn't. How could they be together, as a couple, when they couldn't do any of the things that regular couples can? No being able to talk about each other to their friends, no going out on dates, no Sunday afternoon strolls around the park, no spending the nights cosily wrapped in each other's loving arms. All they had to look forward to were a few stolen moments and a lifetime of checking over their shoulders for fear of being seen and that was not a good basis for any kind of relationship, no matter how deep or electric the chemistry was.

They finally concluded they had two options. One; ask permission to date properly and face whatever consequences came their way, which they instantly dismissed as even an option because neither wanted to lose this show, or their friends, or the stability of a regular pay check. Or two; let go, again, of any hopes they had of being a couple, at least for the time being. They had once more had to make the decision to not let their hearts rule their heads, and once more it was incredibly difficult and exceptionally painful.

After sharing a few emotional kisses and long, tearful hug, they had parted, promising each other that they would make the most of every single second they could spend together at work, and use Ross and Rachel as an outlet for their love and adoration of each other. They only had another 6 episodes to film before the season was over, but they knew that their characters' storyline was about to hot up, and also that they then had a short break from filming before they started again on season two.

It was David's turn to bring the coffees to their first table read next morning, and he had called Jen to one side, handing over a paper bag containing her coffee, a croissant, and a small box. "Don't open the box until you're on your own ok?" he had said, squeezing her hand gently.

"Ok" she replied with a smile that didn't light up her eyes in the way it usually did. "Thank you."

The read had not gone particularly well. There were a lot of changes needed this week to make the script right, and a lot of time was also spent trying to figure out how to work enough of the unpredictable monkey into the show without it ending up taking two days to shoot. For the first time there was a strong air of tension in the room and everyone could sense it.

"Okay guys you take a lunch break, see you back here in an hour please."

The six of them made their way to the canteen where the three girls sat down together with the same salad that had become another of their traditions, the guys usually preferring to grab a sandwich or pizza and retreat to their dressing rooms to eat.

"Are you ok, you seem a little quiet?" Courteney asked of Jen, who was sat pushing her food around her plate, not really eating or paying any attention to the lunchtime chatter.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine" she had replied with an unconvincing smile.

"You don't seem too fine" Lisa had chipped in.

"Honestly I'm fine, just a bit tired and it's a strange energy in there today."

"Yeah it is but I'm sure they'll work it out" Courteney smiled, not at all sure she believed that was all that was bothering her close friend but knowing her well enough not to push it, not here and now at least.

"I think I'm going to go and get my head down for a few minutes if you don't mind?" Jen said, standing up and collecting her purse which contained the still unopened small box.

Minutes later she was alone in her dressing room, sat on the small corner sofa. She retrieved the box from the bag and carefully pulled it open to reveal a beautiful, delicate gold chain with a small, golden coffee bean pendant attached. There was a note too which read, "My first thought in the morning is always you. D xx"

Jen had tears in her eyes as she gently removed David's wonderful gift from its pillow and carefully fastened the clasp at the back of her neck. She stood and looked in the mirror, her fingers instinctively reaching for the pendant and holding it tightly between them as if by doing so she could feel his love. Without thinking she exited her dressing room and made her way along the corridor to his, tapping on the door and letting herself in as she heard him moving around inside. Within seconds she was wrapped in his arms, sobbing into his chest as he gently rubbed her back. He held her securely for what seemed like forever until her cries subsided and she had regained a little composure.

"This is the most perfect gift" she whimpered, her voice still racked with emotion, her fingers holding on tightly to the golden bean, "you have no idea how much I love it and will treasure it. Thank you....... Thank you......" she buried her head deep into his chest once more, clinging onto him and another wave of emotion washed over her and the tears flowed again onto her flushed cheeks.

"Hey it wasn't supposed to make you so sad" he breathed into her hair. "Look, this is going to be hard for both of us, but just remember it doesn't have to be forever. The necklace is a symbol of just how much you mean to me, how much you will always mean to me. I meant what I wrote, you are the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing on my mind as I fall asleep. That is not going to change any time soon. Our timing is just a little off right now that's all. I will wait for you until the timing is right though..... I promise you that."

Jen had pulled her head back by now and was gazing at him with total adoration and a fresh seed of hope. "You promise you'll wait for me?"

"Of course I'll wait for you" he replied, placing a short, but incredibly tender kiss on her lips, his hands gently wiping away the last of the salty tears and being relieved to see the usual sparkle starting to return to her beautiful face.

10 minutes later they found themselves back around the table, Jen having washed her face and reapplied some make up in an attempt to hide her crying eyes. She caught David's gaze as her fingers found the golden coffee bean and brought it subtly to her lips, wondering what she had done to be lucky enough to find him. The tiny shred of hope inside her was alive once more. All she had to do was be strong and wait. She could do that...... she was sure she could do that......