The One Where The Lines Get Kinda Blurry

The One With An Informed Decision

Less than five minutes after the Zoom had ended, Jen's iPhone alerted her to David calling. "Long time no see" she laughed as she slid her finger across the screen to accept his Facetime request.

"Haha yeah, sorry it just seemed appropriate to follow up straight away on what Ben was talking about don't you think? Do you have time now?"

Jen raised a sarcastic eyebrow at his question, "Honey, right now I have all the time in the world. "Who knows how long we are going to be confined to our homes for? We may as well make the most of it. So....... Ben got you thinking about something didn't he? I think I am pretty sure what it is but do you want to go first? Actually, hang on a minute........." Jen put her phone down onto a table so that all David could see was a pretty impressively ornate light fitting on her high, vaulted ceiling. He could hear her moving around, what sounded like a door opening and closing and then he heard footsteps coming back towards him. He suddenly found himself face to face with her again. "Sorry, I was just letting the dogs in and grabbing myself a drink" she grinned, "you know, in case this goes on a while."

"You do know the joy of Facetime is that you can actually carry your phone around with you while you speak..." he teased, laughing as she pulled a face at him and stuck out her tongue. "So, yeah when Ben said what he said about us wanting to dig into our memories and think about stuff that went on off camera... well, the thing that came to my mind instantly was you.... well, us really. I mean, I don't know about you, but I was blown away when I saw all those old pics in Court's album, just how blatant we were. I can't believe no one ever called us out on it really. But I was wondering if maybe, and obviously this would require us to have some pretty big discussions which is why I wanted to talk to you now, but maybe we could perhaps share a little bit about what went on between us, and I do mean a little bit, I'm not asking you to tell the world our deepest, darkest secrets, but it might actually be a good way to lay some skeletons to rest and I think it would be something quite joyful for the show to depict the somewhat parallel love story of Ross and Rachel with you and I. But of course, if you would rather not have our private, personal feelings brought into it then I fully respect and understand that and I will not say another word about it. So ...... uhmmmmm.... that's it. Is that what you thought I was going to say?" David had been watching Jen's reaction as he spoke, and for once he was finding her hard to read. Usually, she was so open and obvious, but he couldn't decide whether she was happy, or upset, or just thinking.

Jen stared at her phone screen, for once lost for words. That was absolutely not what she had expected and it had floored her a little.

"Okay, the silence says it all, sorry, I shouldn't have said anything" David said, raising his hand in a gesture of apology to her.

"No... no sorry, don't think that. You just took me completely by surprise that's all. I figured you would be wanting to talk about us, but I thought you would say that we needed to be very careful not to reveal anything that went on so you kind of winded me somewhat with your little speech. Ok, so.... wow. You really want to admit to the world that we had feelings for each other?"

"Only if you wanted to as well. I'm not saying we should give ourselves away completely, I just figured that when they start looking back they are probably going to ask some questions anyway, because we look like a couple in pretty much every shot, on screen and off, so maybe we should pre-empt it. Look, I can tell this is not comfortable for you so let's just forget I said anything."

"Honey hold on, I am not in any way uncomfortable about this..... honestly, I'm not. If anything I am just shocked that you seem so comfortable with the thought of it. I would have thought you would want to shy away from ever being linked with me in that way if I'm completely truthful. I don't exactly have the best track record with men. Are you sure you want to add your name to that illustrious public list? Have the media crawling all over you again?"

"Okay, I haven't completely thought it all through no, but I would be extremely proud to be associated with you 'in that way' and don't you ever dare to think otherwise." David stared deep into the screen, wishing they could be having this conversation properly face to face rather than using technology. "Look, I may as well just say it. The ten years we shared together were the ten most emotional, intense and challenging years of my life, but they were also the absolute best. I can still remember as if it were yesterday, the feeling of waking up in a morning, knowing I got to go to work and see your beautiful smiling face. The fact that I got paid to be with you all the time was a bonus. The real prize for me was knowing and loving you. I can't imagine the man I would be today had we not shared what we shared. You taught me so many things about life, love and let's be completely honest, heartbreak, and you shaped me into who I am today. Yes, having Cleo softened me and opened my heart, but you were the first girl I ever truly loved and adored, and you will always be incredibly special to me, probably more so than I even dare to admit to myself." He noticed Jen wiping a tear from her eye with the sleeve of her sweater. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

Jen gazed into the screen which she held firmly in her other hand. "I'm not sad, I'm just emotional..... happy emotional, don't worry. I can't believe you still remember me and everything we shared so fondly after what I did to you. And the fact that you even want to talk about making it public is just..... wow, that's something I never, ever thought we would do...... but yes. I agree with everything you've said. We were incredibly obvious and if they're going to be digging out old behind the scenes footage then someone is bound to see or say something and ask questions. But we can't tell our whole story. That's for us and us alone to know, I'm not having the world sharing that because it was too special and too beautiful..... and in the end too damn painful." She paused for a moment, looking at David who was sat in his kitchen, his iPad leaned up against something so that he had both hands free, one of which was running absentmindedly through his hair as he listened to her speak. "Look, there is something I need to tell you, that I've needed to tell you for a very long time, but it's never felt like the right moment or the right circumstances. But maybe now it is that time, although I always figured one day we'd do this actually face to face and not thousands of miles away..... although maybe this is better, who knows......"

"Jen....."

"Yes?"

"You don't have to tell me the reason you know. You asked me to trust you back then and I did and I do. I didn't understand it and I didn't like it, but I believed in you. If you want to tell me then that's fine, but you don't have to okay."

"Honey I think I do have to. If we are going to be opening up a whole world of discussions about us and our feelings then I think you deserve to know exactly why I did what I did..... and then you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to be associated with me in that way."

"Look, I have an idea. It may be a stupid one but I'm going to suggest it anyway. This whole subject feels quite new and a little uncertain right now, the possibility of sharing it I mean, so how about we both sleep on it tonight and then tomorrow, let's have a virtual dinner. We can each make a nice meal, set up a cosy atmosphere and even pretend we are out someplace special together if you like, and then if you still feel you want to tell me all about what really happened, you can do it then. Does that sound weird or does that sound like something you might be interested in?"

Jen smiled widely into the screen. "Honey that is the sweetest and most wonderful idea. I'd truly love that. Maybe this could even be the date we promised each other all that time ago?"

"Yes absolutely, a date it is then. Shall I pick you up on Zoom around 6pm your time or is that too early?"

"Honey any time is fine by me.... I'll be here ready and waiting. I'm looking forward to it already. It's always nice to have an excuse to get a bit dressed up, especially at the moment."

"Excellent, well in that case I'll go now and look forward to seeing you then. Enjoy the rest of your day and really, don't worry about any of this. I wasn't meaning to pressure you at all."

"I won't worry I promise, you've just given me a lot to think about that's all. You enjoy your day too and I'll see you tomorrow for our date..... don't be late!" And with that she blew him a kiss and disappeared from his screen. And they both spent the rest of that day, and most of the night, and most of the next day too, wandering around their respective homes, wearing wide smiles on their faces as they internally dug through some of their favourite and most precious memories together.