The One Where The Lines Get Kinda Blurry

The One With The Spinning Band Of Gold

The following morning came around very quickly and if they were honest, neither David nor Jen had slept too much after their emotional evening with Oprah. It was taping day for the Thanksgiving episode today and as always for the live show, there was a lot of prep to do, and not a lot of time to do it in which meant for a frantic but fun atmosphere. It was without doubt everyone's favourite day of the week. All six of the Friends, plus the writers and producers got their kicks from these days, the instant gratification of a live audience reaction as the words written on a Monday morning script came alive in front of their very eyes. Friday nights were always where the real magic happened.

Always where the real magic happened for their characters at least. For the two main protagonists, the magic happened much more often away from the prying eyes of a moving camera, in dark hidden corners or secret whispered corridor conversations. After Jen's emotional confession to David in the parking lot last night, she felt she needed to check in with him as early as she possibly could today and make sure she hadn't crossed the line with him and made him too uncomfortable, after all, no matter how deeply she felt for him, at the end of the day she was married to Brad.

Brad. She had spent an hour this morning, sat on a bar stool in her kitchen, spinning her wedding ring on the counter top and watching it dance then fall, over and over again. She always took off her rings at home on filming day, mainly because they were safer there than in her purse, but also because there was something symbolic about erasing Jen and becoming Rachel for the day. She could remember so clearly the first time she had removed her ring for filming after her engagement, and subsequently both her rings after her wedding. Her finger had felt bare and empty and she couldn't wait to get them back on again. But somewhere along the way, that feeling of longing to be Brad's Jen had dwindled, and she found herself looking forward to Fridays more and more when she could disappear back into Rachel's world and see what life looked like again from outside the Hollywood bubble she was beginning to feel increasingly trapped in.

David knew she was bothered by her admission of love towards him last night. He had seen it on her face the moment she had arrived through the studio doors this morning and he was desperate to get her on her own and talk to her, to reassure her and to make it absolutely clear that in no way would he pressure her to act on her feelings. And he meant that. Of course he wanted to run off into the sunset with her, this beautiful, wonderful girl he had adored for nearly ten years. He loved her, he needed her and he wanted her. But he would never pressure her with his needs. He wasn't that guy. He was the one that everyone else respected and looked up to as being professional, strong and with a moral compass that was beyond compare. He was the guy that always did the right thing. And once again he would do the right thing by Jen, he knew he would. But the big question in his heart was, would doing the right thing and standing by while she decided his future break him completely this time? It was a huge risk and one he was internally terrified about taking.

He finally managed to grab a few moments alone with her after lunch when she disappeared for a cigarette break and none of the others had gone with her. He often felt a little left out being the only none smoker in the group, missing out on a lot of jokes and funny moments as they were all outside and he was indoors. But instead of dwelling on those feelings, he decided early on to use that precious alone time to talk to anyone and everyone on set that he could about his dreams of being a director and taking note of every piece of advice and information he gathered. And so for that reason, and many others, when following her out of the back doors and into the small smoking area between stages, he felt strangely ill at ease, like a stranger at someone else's private party. She hadn't heard him follow her out and startled as he gently rubbed her arm, causing her to almost stab him in the eye with her lit cigarette.

"Oh shit, honey are you ok? I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were there!" she exclaimed, her voice high pitched with surprise, wiping the ash off his cheek and then trailing her hand down his arm, rubbing it tenderly.

David laughed, slightly ashamed he had caused her so much alarm, but finding her reaction a mixture of funny and endearing at the same time. "I'm fine, I was just coming to check you were ok actually. I could read your mind from a mile away this morning and I just wanted to reassure you that it's all alright." He had taken her hand in his as he spoke, her left hand as her right one was occupied, and his fingers couldn't help but trace over the spot where her rings usually sat. He saw her eyes dart down, a brief flash of almost panic on her face. "Rachel's here already I see" he quipped, deferring to humour as usual to ease any tension.

Jen smiled at him, the fear disappearing as quickly as it had arisen. "How do you do that?" she asked, "how do you understand me so quickly and so easily and know exactly what to say almost every time?"

"You're just so easy to read" he replied.

"Yeah well some people would disagree with you there" she responded, thinking of the more and more frequent occasions where Brad would disappoint her with his apparent lack of understanding of her feelings. She gave herself a brief but strong internal telling off. That was unfair. She should communicate better too, it wasn't right to lay that entirely on Brad. Though she couldn't help but think that his and David's roles were slowly reversing as time went by. Things with Brad had always been so easy and simple and uncomplicated, whereas her and David had been nothing but complicated since that fateful first kiss in Vegas and the subsequent warning from Jimmy all those years ago. But now somehow, looking back with slightly rose coloured glasses, David had actually always been simple and easy. It was the situation they found themselves in that was messy and convoluted but never the man himself. "Sorry...." she said stubbing out her half smoked cigarette and dragging herself out of her thoughts and returning her attention to the man in front of her, "..... that's my problem and not yours. Thanks for coming to check in on me. I really do appreciate you beyond words..... and I'm sorry for dragging you into my mess again."

"You are not dragging me into anything" he replied honestly, "I love you, and I care deeply about you, but I am big enough and ugly enough to make my own decisions...... you don't need to worry about me I promise." He removed his hand from around her lower arm where it had automatically moved itself as they were talking, "now I think we need to go and lose ourselves in Ross and Rachel for a while and enjoy their last Thanksgiving together..... and you just be careful not to get your head stuck in that door again like you did in rehearsals yesterday" he added with a wink, holding out his hand and leading her back towards set once more.

They had done exactly as David suggested, finding joy and connection through their characters and enjoying the love from the audience as they created their show in front of them. And as they took their end of night bows, hand in hand, Jen had cast a sideways glance at her co-star and felt her heart melt a little bit more as he returned her brief gaze and blew her a subtle air kiss.

She was dog tired by the time she finally pulled up outside her house at 1.47am, surprised to see the main lights still on which meant Brad had waited up for her. She was even more amazed as she walked through the door to be greeted by a glass of champagne and a note saying that he was waiting for her in the bath where he hoped she would join him. And as she slid under the mountain of luscious bubbles and into his waiting arms, she couldn't help but feel a massive wave of guilt wash over her. Despite his failings Brad was a good guy, a really good guy. And she did love him dearly and she wasn't being fair to him at all right now. He had chosen her to live the rest of his life with. Out of all the women he could have picked, he chose her. And here she was, putting him down and picking holes in his character because she wanted to make herself feel better about being in love with someone else at the same time. No, that was on her and that was something she was going to have to get her head around and make a decision about. And she needed to do it soon before she completely ruined three people's lives.