The One Where The Lines Get Kinda Blurry

The One With The Thunderbolt

It was December and things were going along fairly steadily in the world of David & Jen.  They had quickly fallen back into their 'work routine' of flirting their way around set, stealing passionate dressing room moments, and sleeping at David's together as often as they dared, which was usually one or sometimes two nights a week.  They hadn't managed any more official dates yet, but they had been on a few  beach walks together, delighting in the semi-freedom of the dark skies as they dipped their toes in the gentle waves and strolled along hand in hand.  They found most of their pleasure in the Ross and Rachel storylines which meant they got to spend almost all of their working week together, off set and on, sharing lots of body contact and secret gestures that only they knew and understood.  Sure, they were still frequently frustrated at having to cover up their relationship, but they took comfort in knowing that they could at least use Ross and Rachel as a foil and a channel for their love. 

But all that changed one Monday morning, as they arrived on set and were called into a meeting with the producers, just the two of them, not the others, to be told that they had decided to break up the relationship between their characters.  They felt that although the chemistry between the two of them was electric, the opportunity for comedy between them had diminished and since the show was after all a sit-com, they felt they needed to explore their two characters as separate entities to allow for growth and the opportunity to interact more with the other four.

Jen instantly felt like she had been stabbed in the heart.  If they took away Ross and Rachel, they took away most of her and David's opportunities to be together.  How could they get away with any of what they got away with now if they weren't 'practising' for all their scenes together, running lines together, discussing how their characters would be feeling and thinking together, all behind those locked dressing room doors where the lines between Ross and Rachel, and David and Jen were blurry to say the least.  To take away the relationship of Rachel and Ross was to take away the very essence of what her and David had built their own relationship around.  She felt light headed and nauseous.  She had barely heard a word of what was said beyond the initial thunderbolt and she had no idea how she had made it back to her dressing room where she now sat in total disbelief.

Ten minutes. Ten whole minutes of shocked silence had passed by before David appeared at her door, slipping inside and locking it behind him.  He came and sat beside her, taking her into his arms and rocking her like a small child, not daring to say a word as he too was teetering on the edge of tears, something which happened only very rarely. They sat like that together for what seemed like an age, neither knowing what to say so saying nothing, just taking comfort from the closeness of each other.

David was the first one to break the silence, "You know, just because it's the end of them doesn't mean it's the end of us. We are not Ross and Rachel you know; we are you and me, and we get to write our story, not them out there" he said, gesturing towards the door as he spoke.

Jen lifted her head from his chest, the pain in her eyes obvious and raw, "Only we don't do we?  We don't get to decide what can happen as we aren't the ones making the rules, they are." She was full on crying now and not even trying to stop the tears as they rolled down her flushed cheeks. "They dictate everything we can or can't do. No hooking up, no relationships, no being seen out together in case God forbid the world should think we are a normal, happy, consensual couple.... fall in love with Ross, Rachel...... fall out of love with Ross, Rachel.... WE don't get to determine anything about this and I hate it" she ended with a loud sob as there was a knock on her dressing room door.

"Just give me a fucking minute" she shouted, not even caring to ask who was on the other side. "See, we don't even get to discuss this properly before we are dragged away from each other."  She knew she was going overboard and she knew she was being dramatic, but right now she did not care.  She was hurting, and she could see he was hurting too.  The man who she had grown to depend on, the man who was strong, tough, steady, always the one with the answers or a plan, the level headed, sensible one, and here he was almost at breaking point too.  Both of them in complete emotional turmoil because a fictional couple were breaking up. To an outsider it would sound ridiculous, totally bat shit crazy, but to them it was their world. Their chance.  Their only opportunity to be together. It was being wrenched away and they were powerless to stop it.

Two weeks had passed since they had been told about the writers' plans and they had been two long, hard weeks for Jen and David.  They suddenly and inexplicably found themselves having difficulty interacting on set and off it.  It was as if an invisible wall had been drawn between them and they had no idea how to be with each other if they weren't using Ross and Rachel as their channel.  The niggles and frustrations that their characters were experiencing with each other seemed to have crossed the line into them too.  They were both miserable, obviously distracted and a little snappy, something which didn't go unnoticed by their four co-stars.

"Are you ok?" Courteney asked Jen as they stood smoking together with Lisa and Matty outside the stage door, "You seem a little tense this week."

"I'm fine" Jen had replied curtly, causing raised eyebrows from the others.  "Seriously I'm fine!" she exclaimed, seeing their reactions, "I'm just tired and I'm not enjoying the script this week."

"I still can't believe they are going to break you two up" Lisa said, "Rachel and Ross I mean" she added quickly, as she saw Jen's head snap towards her.

Jen had to bite the inside of her cheeks hard to stop the tears that were threatening her eyes from falling.  "I can't believe it either" she said in a quiet voice, quickly turning and walking away before anyone could ask her any more questions, fearing she wouldn't be able to hold back the tears any longer.  She couldn't believe how much her heart hurt.  She found herself walking past her own dressing room and heading for David's.  She hesitated as she reached the door, not sure why as she never usually paused for a second before going in.  She tapped with her knuckles and waited for his answer before slipping into the room and closing the door behind her.

"Hey you, what's with the knocking?" David said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes as normal.

"I don't know" she sighed, choosing a seat opposite where he was sat on his couch and setting herself down heavily.  "I don't seem to know anything right now.  I know nothing has changed but in reality, everything has changed...... and I...... I don't know if I can do this."

"You don't know if you can do what?" David asked, the tone of his voice filled with a mixture of sadness and something that seemed like resignation.

"Any of it. I just don't know how to be with you anymore.  I feel like I can't be anywhere close to you because without Ross and Rachel, it's too obvious. I feel like I need permission to step into your dressing room, or to touch your arm, or to give you a hug.... not because I don't want to, and not because you have changed, but because they, all of them out there, will know that it is me and you doing that, for the benefit of us. I feel so exposed and uncomfortable, and I hate myself for feeling so awkward like this.  Does any of that make sense to you?"

"It does....... it makes total sense and I feel it too.  Twice today I have stopped myself coming to your room because somehow it didn't feel appropriate.  And I don't know why, but you're right, somehow everything has changed."

"So what do we do?" Jen could barely look at him as she asked the question, afraid to hear his answer.

"Well, I have been thinking about this since that meeting and honestly, I think we have two options" he answered, "we come clean now about our relationship and just hope they accept our word that we are professional enough to not let it ever get in the way of our work or..... or........" There was a pause that lasted for a second or two longer than was comfortable.

"Or what?"

"Or, and I really didn't want to have this conversation here......... or we admit to ourselves that actually our relationship is affecting our work right now, because we're not thinking about what's best for the show, we are prioritising ourselves, which we promised would never happen, and....."  a single tear fell from David's eye as he felt his heart break at his own words, knowing in that moment what they had to do "..... and we decide to make a huge personal sacrifice in order to remain professional."