The One Where The Lines Get Kinda Blurry

The One With Cold Coffee And Hot Truths

David had locked himself in his dressing room immediately after filming that episode where Jen had worn the most revealing and sexiest dress he had ever seen in his life.  He'd had to fight for the entire night not to grab a hold of her and do all those things he used to love doing with her right there and then, and that shocked him to his core.  He was a red-blooded male and sure, a pretty girl or a nice pair of boobs were an easy turn on.  But what he had felt towards Jen tonight was way beyond that.  He was right back where he was nine years ago and he felt so utterly conflicted.  She was married for one, so there was no way he should be feeling these kinds of things for her anymore. And two, he had Mili.  His girlfriend and partner Mili, who he honestly loved and cared about, who was easy to be with, gorgeous to look at and who absolutely deserved better than the half a heart he was offering to her right now.  

Only a few months ago, not long after his conversation with Jen about Mili and the potential longevity of their relationship, he had discussed the probability of a long-term future with her, not exactly a proposal but definitely a nod that they were headed in that direction. And yet here he was, one sensationally revealing dress later, drooling over his ex..... ex........ ex what?  Ex-lover. Ex-sort of partner. Ex-everything.  Only she hadn't been his everything because he had been too damn stubborn and too damn short sighted to live through his heart and not his obstinately professional head and allow that to happen.  And now he was paying the price.  Daily, hourly, all day, every day he paid the price.  He thought he could move on and move past her and then bam, one simple thing and he was right back at square one.  This wasn't right. It wasn't good enough and most of all it wasn't fair on Mili.  She deserved way better than his half-baked attempt at loving her and building a life with her.  He picked up his phone and tapped out a message.  He had to see her and put an end to this, and he had to do it soon before his courage lapsed and he fell back into the same old familiar but impossible to maintain rhythm.

The following Monday morning, it was Jen's turn to bring the coffees and she arrived smiling and with her usual amount of joyful energy, tapping on David's dressing room door only to find it locked and uninhabited.  "He's running late" Matty announced as he strolled into the corridor behind her, "personal issues apparently."

"Oh ok" Jen replied, reaching into her purse and pulling out her cell, checking to see if she had received a message from him.  She hadn't.  But then again why on earth did she think she should have?  For goodness sakes she was married to Brad now so why would David be turning to her if he had personal issues going on.  It didn't make her feel better though.  She wanted to be there for him.  She wanted to be the one he told his troubles to, so that she could help him, and comfort him, and..... No. She should not be thinking like this.  It was unfair to Brad and it was unfair to David.  She had made her choice a long time ago now and whatever David's issue was, unless he specifically chose to share it with her, it was none of her damned business.  Yes, she liked to be the peace keeper and the pacifier, but David's problems were not hers to solve anymore and she had to accept that.

It was around an hour later when David arrived at the studio, heading straight into his dressing room and looking like he hadn't slept since they left late on Friday night.  Less than two minutes later Jen was stood at his door, knocking tentatively and waiting to be invited in.

"Who is it?" his voice called out, sounding hoarse and exhausted.

Jen pushed the door ajar and stuck her head around the small gap. "It's me, I brought your coffee though I expect it's past its best by now" she replied, reading the vibe and not entering the room until she was asked.

"Thanks" he answered, moving over to the door and taking it from her, but not asking her in.  "Can you give me a few minutes?" he added, "I don't want to appear rude but I've got some stuff going on right now and to be honest, the thought of seeing and being around you makes it even more difficult."