The One Where The Lines Get Kinda Blurry

The One With Total Trust

"I know... I'm really sorry to have to ask. You can take the day off tomorrow to make up for it ok? Right... Mmm hmm... yes, that's perfect. Thank you so much. I'll see you later, oh wait, no I won't will I, you'll be free to go once you've done that. I'll see you next week then. Enjoy your weekend and thanks again, I really appreciate it."

Jen ended the call and instantly flicked to her messages, tapping out a speedy reply as she knew she could be summoned back to set again at any moment now. She looked at her watch. Two hours late already. Honestly, she loved her job, and she loved this role, but the intense pressures of shooting under covid regulations was absolutely beginning to take its toll. All of the scenes she was filming today involved Alex being wracked with Covid and Jen was drained. Physically and mentally exhausted. She felt like she could go home, crawl into bed and sleep for a week. Two more weeks she kept telling herself, two more weeks to get through and then this part at least is done. Of course, there would be all the post production stuff to do, but that would be far easier than putting herself through this emotional hell for twelve to fourteen hours a day. At least she had been able to use past memories to draw upon to utilise for her current performance. Not the same experience in any way, but the same level of pain and anxiety as Alex was going through that she had been able to channel.

She couldn't help but cast her mind back to that day when she had sat, completely and utterly distraught at the viewpoint, knowing in her heart what she must do to prevent David from being contaminated by her nuclear situation. She had been absolutely sure that he would hate her forever after that. Although she had carried a tiny shred of hope that she could escape from her marriage and resurrect things with him, she had never truly believed that would happen. It was just her way of making it through the most traumatic and distressing time of her life, holding on to the impossible and using that miniscule beacon to find her way through the darkness. That emotion; that complete and utter heart-breaking despair. That was her inspiration right now and it hurt her deeply to put herself back in that place. It hurt her even more deeply to think about what David must have been going through at that moment though. She had pressed end on the call that had made her sick to her stomach, and her heart had shrieked aloud as it shattered into a million and one pieces, each one coursing through her veins like shards of glass, stabbing and slicing at her entire body as the mental pain became physical pain. David. The absolute love of her life. The man she had felt sure she was destined to end up with. The man she loved more than she had ever loved herself. She had failed him. She had destroyed his hopes and dreams. She had broken him.

Her painful memories, although incredibly useful in her current role, were difficult to bear. She'd had to work hard to uncover them and now she was having a tough time burying them again, finding herself unable to sleep at night, reliving those dark times that she thought she had fully processed in therapy, but now it appeared there were still a few demons needing laying to rest. Somehow, she needed to forgive herself, but she wasn't quite sure where to even begin with that. She made a mental note to bring that up at her next therapy session. Her phone buzzed in her hand and in an instant her face was transformed once again. He held the ultimate power over her heart and she was so glad he did. She beamed widely at the photo that had lit up her screen, saving it to her camera roll and instantly setting it as her lock screen photo. That was most definitely a keeper.

She saw the previous picture messages that had flown between them, and her cheeks flushed once more. What the hell had she become? Sending pictures of her naked cleavage down the airwaves like that. She was not a prude, in fact she was pretty open minded when it came to sex and relationships, but she had never felt the urge to do that before, or if she had, she had never trusted the other person enough to actually go through with it. The trust issue had never even crossed her mind with David though. She was absolutely and completely sure she could trust him with her life. She scrolled back a little further to the picture he had sent her first and she felt a rush deep within her core. She wondered if he really knew just how he made her feel? She enjoyed sex. She enjoyed the physical touch and the thrill of the chase, and if she was honest, being chased. She enjoyed being loved and loving someone in return. But with David it was on a completely different level. It always had been. She felt connected to him on a deeper plane somehow, just like their characters had done all those years ago, only with him it was entirely real. He seemed to just know how to make her body sing. A simple touch that from someone else would mean nothing, but from him, made her skin feel alive and had her senses totally awakened within seconds. He could turn her on with a look. He could awaken her deepest desires with a few suggestive words. And now it seemed, he could turn her into a puddle with a photo from thousands of miles away too.

A sudden memory flashed into her mind. A memory she didn't actually know she had, yet in an instant she was transported back as clear as crystal. They had been filming the episode where Ross gets jealous of Rachel's long list of ex-lovers, in particular Paulo, the 'Weenie from Torini' as he had named him, and her description of their sex being animal like. The scene called for Ross to push her onto the bed in a show of passion, but David had taken it one or two steps further, grabbing her and throwing her into the air so she crashed down onto the bed as he landed deftly between her thighs, kissing her with enormous passion and urgency. The first time he had done it in rehearsals it had been a little less fierce and she had whispered in his ear how much she loved it, but he could happily go further. When it came to filming night he had almost taken her breath away with the absolute need and desire in his actions, and as he had fallen heavily on top of her and she had wrapped her legs tightly around him, she had instantly felt just how much he had enjoyed it too.

They'd had a lot of fun that evening. One of her favourite bloopers was the two of them sat on Rachel's bed. She'd been knelt up next to him, their bodies completely entwined, and she had completely messed up her lines. She'd jokingly squeezed at his cheeks and puckered his lips, their faces just inches apart. God, how close she had come to just landing her mouth on his in that moment. She had almost forgotten where they were and who was watching, having to fight her every instinct not to push him back down onto the bed and press her body tightly on top of his.

There had been so many moments like that over the ten years. Moments where she had really needed to focus hard on not blurring the lines between her and David's reality and Ross and Rachel's fiction. She recalled one of their first on screen kisses and near misses as Rachel and Ross had been stood in the hallway between the two apartments. They idea was they had removed themselves from the prying eyes of the other guys and had been about to engage in a steamy kiss when they had been rudely interrupted by a shoe being thrown at the door. Only the timing hadn't worked quite right on the first take... or the second either. They had locked lips, tongues instantly entangled and enjoyed the sensation of togetherness for a good few seconds each time before they were hauled back to reality by the director yelling 'cut!' They managed to follow the direction and pull away just before they locked lips again for the third time, but they had locked themselves away for several minutes in Jen's dressing room afterwards, enjoying the freedom to kiss and touch as they pleased, away from their own version of prying eyes.

That thought train took her down another road, as she remembered another time when she had literally had to dig her nails into her palms until they almost drew blood in order to remind herself not to lean in and kiss him. They had been shooting the episode where Rachel tries to prevent Ross from sleeping with Julie by prolonging the evening, but then ends up stood in the corridor outside his apartment describing the perfect kiss. My God that scene had been intense. They had been praised by everyone around them about how real they'd made it feel, not realising just how easy it was for them to channel all those emotions and wants and needs. Jen had almost run down the corridor to David's dressing room as they had been given a ten minute break. She had flung herself into his arms and kissed him with such passion and urgency that he had been forced to push her away before they got too heated, knowing they only had such a short amount of time before they were called back on set.

Jen smiled as her fingers wandered across her lips, tracing the path that his had done so many times before. She glanced at her watch. He should be landing about now she thought, as her mind started to race forward, thinking about all the time they were about to get together. Four days. Four whole, complete, uninterrupted days. They had never had that. They had never enjoyed the luxury of time together as there had always been something that stood in their way, be it filming, or rehearsing or hiding... But not this
weekend. He was arriving today and he did not have to be back in New York until Wednesday afternoon. She had made sure that her schedule was cleared too, swapping a day with Reese who had raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth she could need the time for during a period of stay at home unless absolutely necessary, but had thankfully not pushed her on the matter. She wasn't ready for that yet. She wanted to keep this to herself and enjoy him all to herself.

As she made her way back on set for the final scene of the day, she looked down at her phone once more, tapping the screen to awaken the light and display the photo which she knew would keep her heart warm on many days to come. Her three gorgeous fur babies, on the cream sofa in the large kitchen area, sprawled on top of the legs of the man she loved. The man who was at this very second, waiting for her at her house, having been let in by her housekeeper who had been instructed to give him every access and alarm code and had handed over a full set of keys as he arrived. He was there ready and waiting. Waiting to welcome her into his arms and love her in the way only he knew how.