[✓]My Fiancé is in Love with My Little Sister

Chapter 19

If this is the real end – 2

“My charming little princess.”

Mother often said that while combing my little sister’s hairs. As I looked at them, I thought it couldn’t be help since she looked so lovely.

It wasn’t like mother didn’t love me. … … That was probably what I tried to believe. However, rather than her own blood-related child, she loved and cherished Silvia a lot more. That was the truth. She would rarely come to my room, but I knew that she went to see Silvia without missing a single day. Before going to sleep, she would drop a kiss on her round forehead. I also knew that she would sing a lullaby with a voice full of love. Sneaking out of my room on a night I couldn’t fall asleep, from the gap of the door that happened to have been opened, I saw the nonchalant routine of my mother and that child. “Good night, mother.” “Sweet dreams, my charming little princess.” Even though I clearly heard their voices, for some reason they started to vanish in the distance.  

Lovely. That looked lovely. I also wanted that.

I wanted mother’s gentle kiss. I wanted her hands to comb my hairs, show me her affection, hug me, I wanted her to call me her lovely little princess. I thought that mother would do it if I asked her for. If I coaxed her, if I put my request into words, I knew she wouldn’t ignore it. While mother loved my little sister more, she wasn’t a heartless person. That’s why, if I had wished for it, I would have had my desires granted. Even if she didn’t do it spontaneously. However in the end, I never even once received those gestures of affections.

Because I thought that if it was a love given reluctantly, then I had no need for it.

I might have been a young child at that time, but since birth I understood I was from the aristocracy. I was called “my lady” since I was a baby, was served by the people around me; raised in this fashion I was made to act and treat people a certain way. By the time I remembered words, inside my heart the notion of pride had already be cultivated. Such worthless arrogance might have deprived me of my pureness and honesty. I, who was even hesitating to reach out to my own mother, had unconsciously built a wall inside my heart, and I came to behave as if I could never understand how to bare my heart and openly said what I wanted. The armor that I coiled around me by doing that, stayed with me as I grew up, unknowingly hurting me.

I didn’t know if it was because of that, but I was always afraid of asking others for their help. Even though I knew that I, myself, was a very weak person, even at the critical moment I still couldn’t ask for help. Just saying a single word would be enough, but how much courage would it take to actually say it? Did anyone understand the sorrow squeezing out such a word and freeing my voice from any obstacles would cost me? I was the noble daughter of the third ranked earl house. I, who was armed with such a heavy headgear, such a heave title, while I was using it as a shield, at the same time I had also been bounded hands and feet by it.

“From today onward, you will become Soleil-sama’s fiancé.” 

Therefore, you cannot act spoiled anymore, alright? Even though I felt I had never behave that way even once, that person said this with a gaze full of kindness and hugged me tightly. As if this would be the last time. Anyhow, she pretended having done this many times. My first hug with my mother was wrapped in an atmosphere sugary enough to make one’s choke and it made me feel sick. At that moment I didn’t know if it was alright for me to return her hug back, while watching my fingers wandering in midair, I noticed that mother and Silvia had the same smell. It smelled like the lingering scent of an incense. The young me simply thought it was strange. Why did my mother and little sister have the same parfum? I didn’t realize the sense of discomfort that assailed me because only mine was different.