[✓]My Fiancé is in Love with My Little Sister

Chapter 46

7 – The Eternity of Kaliarya Ignis – 6

Emma cried restlessly, to the point it seemed she would be engulfed by her grief and stop breathing. In fact, seeing her cry while gasping for breath made me think dying might have be easier for her. If at that moment, I had had hands that could have hugged her... I would have strongly, strongly embraced her until I’d choke the life out of her. I knew I was thinking of stupid things. But if that could save her, a part of me thought it wouldn’t be so bad.

…… I see. Is this what “death” is?

My sensations were too vague. Maybe I arrived at this thought that I would never have had if I had been in my normal state, because I was actually experiencing myself what it felt to be a deceased, what death felt like. It wasn’t an ambiguous feeling like what I had felt until now, where I didn’t know whether I was alive or dead. I firmly… this way of saying it might be a bit strange. Yes. I should say, I properly understood I was dead. If souls existed in this world, then wasn’t the me right now something close to it? If that was the case, then maybe, a person with the so-called ability to sense the supernatural might be able to see me. When I unexpectedly reached this idea, I tried to called out to her who had now fell into a trance.

But at that moment. I realized I had no “means” to prove my own existence.

She had cried and screamed to the point her voice was now hoarse. Although her appearance was clearly visible to me, I couldn’t stroke her back, I couldn’t tell her it was alright. Even though I wanted to let her know I was still here, by her side. The arms that should have supported her, the legs that should have rushed to her, the voice that should have encouraged her, I had nothing.

“Rya…! Aah… Yes, well, of course you’re not here…!”

For a second, I had an uncomfortable feeling as if the flow of air itself had stopped. She suddenly started to speak, then she laughed. It was an awfully crooked smile, a smile that induced dread. Then, still holding my clothes in her arms, she rushed out of the room. Confronted to this unexpected situation, not a single servant who had been surrounding Emma managed to react in time. When eventually, they came back to their sense and chased after her in a hurry, it was already too late. Emma had exited the manor’s gates and was following the road leading to the market, rushing somewhere while calling my name in delirium. During that time, she passed by a familiar merchant on the roadside. Seeing her conduct that was nothing like her usual gracefulness, he stood gaping. So, it didn’t take long before Emma caught up with a passing person and called out to them. 

“Have you seen a man… with black hairs and black eyes who looks very young? It’s a man who’s called Rya… Kaliarya Ignis…”

She had been crying until just a while ago so her breath wasn’t steady yet. She desperately squeezed out her hoarse voice, and while it was still jolting up sometimes, she questioned people. While they were startled to be called out, these people only shook their head. Yet, Emma didn’t give up. Her face was pale, her legs wobbling, her hairs disheveled. But she continued to ask people. The market she eventually arrived at was a place I frequently stopped by on my way from back from work. Here I chose fruit for Emma.

“Madame! Madame! Please, wait…!”

A servant who had finally caught up to her called in a shriek, trying to stop her. Well, he was right to. Because a woman who was wearing an attire that clearly let others knew she was a noble was calling out to anyone and everyone, almost clinging to them in despair. But she didn’t stop. Not giving the slightest care about her outward appearance, she gave up on her reputation and abandoned everything.

She kept calling my name, calling me.

It can’t be, I thought, while continuing to look at her. We were supposed to have made our resolve for this moment. For when I’d lose my life. But now that I thought over it, what I needed to do wasn’t to prepare for the moment I would die. It was to “prepare her” for that moment. Even though I should have made her ready to accept the future where her husband would die, I only thought of myself, I made light of her feelings for me.