[✓]My Fiancé is in Love with My Little Sister

Chapter 35

If this is the real end – 18

If asked whether I tried to kill her or not, I would answer with confidence, “No.” But, if I was asked what I was trying to do then, I would be at a loss for a reply. Because at that moment, I was trying to erase the existence of mother itself. It felt a bit different from robbing someone’s life, but I couldn’t explain well.

“Do you think that’s an excuse?”

The oppressive voice of father sounded distant. It was the usual feeling of having no sense of reality. Although I knew I wasn’t in a dream, I thought we were almost like the fictive characters appearing in a story. I barely felt the sensation of being alive.

“Are you listening, Ilya?”

Lying on the bed, mother was breathing silently, but she wasn’t sleeping. She was just staring fixedly at me. Father and I were standing on the bedside, the steward was right behind father, and two maids were waiting in the corners of the room. One of them was Merge.

… … If at that time, Merge hadn’t barged into the room, I think I would have certainly choke the life out of mother.

When I brought out from Silvia’s room the bottles containing the tea, the maid who happened to be present went to report the situation to the steward. According to her, just after I left my sister’s room, she had run to find him. Then, the steward who was informed of the circumstances, ordered a maid who had been working here for a long time, Merge, to go watch over the situation. He must have judged that a young and inexperienced maid wouldn’t be able to deal with it. 
           
Originally, only father could enter in mother’s room without asking for permission. But, this limitation didn’t apply when an unexpected situation occurred. In the absence of the family’s head, the authority fell on the steward. So, since it was her mistress’s room she could have asked for the steward’s authorization and be allowed to enter. There was a reason why Merge barged in without waiting for getting someone’s consent. I didn’t think she knew something was happening in the room, but she might have sensed the unusual atmosphere. And so; she was able to prevent the worst-case scenario.

“I had no intention to bring harm to mother. I was simply a bit confused… I am truly sorry…”

I deeply bowed, almost to the point of falling. I staggered a little, but I desperately maintained my posture. I must avoid at all cost losing my consciousness here. If everything is not cleared out, I will be confined in my room. No matter how, I must prove I was sane. Even if I was aware that in reality, a part of me had broken.

“Do you really thing so? You had your hands on your mother’s neck. And you said you didn’t mean to harm her……?”

From the corner of my eyes I saw father swung his arms. My shadow on the carpet swayed along with the light illuminating the room. It almost looked like it was trying to escape from father’s hands. I didn’t know if I was slapped or hit but a buzzing sound echoed in my ears. This time I fell on the carpet. When I reflexively looked up at father’s face, I met his eyes that were scowling at me. His amber pupil looked like those of a beast. I couldn’t help but be frightened by this glare full of hostility, this gaze that was as if he was about to kill his prey. It was unmistakably my own blood-related father, yet he looked like a stranger. In those eyes oozing of hatred, I couldn’t feel the slightest bit of affection toward his daughter. Something slimy and lukewarm glided along my chin and when I reflexively pin it down with my fingers, I realized it was blood. I must have cut my lips.

As I stayed on the ground with my gaze unintentionally lowered, my cuff became dyed in red. Still, that amount of bleeding was strange. As I was pondering over it in doubt,