[✓]My Fiancé is in Love with My Little Sister

Chapter 55

8 – The End of the End – 1

I felt I heard Crow’s voice. However, I fell into a pitch-dark space. While I felt relieved that this time it was truly “the end,” but my consciousness didn’t fade away. It was clearly not the same sensation of “death” that I had experienced many times before. Thinking it was strange, I surrendered myself to this “unknown will” that couldn’t be resisted. Then, it finally started.

It was as if I was indirectly experiencing “his” life.

The beginning started that day. The day I killed myself. I only remember until I jumped from the chair after having wreathed a rope around my neck. The world which was dyed white for a moment turned dark then ended. That’s to be expected since I died. However, even though I had disappeared, the world itself didn’t vanish. The lives of other people continued to go on and time did not stop. 

This was a matter of course. But until now, I never thought deeply about what happened after I died. After all, as far as I could imagine, Soleil and Silvia’s fate could only be dreamlike. I thought they would live happily together, and actually, it must have been like this. That was surely why. Why apart from them, I didn’t even imagine what happened to others.

For example, who was the person who found my body that had already stopped breathing......? If anyone was to find it, it was natural to think it would be a servant. Because apart from them, who would come to my room? However, my expectations were completely overturned. In other words, the person who found my body was someone I had never expected to.

It was Crow.

Strictly speaking, Silvia also happened to be present. However, she only screamed and didn’t look at my face clearly to confirm it was me. But based on the fact it was her older sister’s room and that we had a quarrel the previous night, she concluded that the dead person was me. My little sister strongly shut her eyes and screamed with all her voice. Was it because she knew she was the cause for all this that she couldn’t look straight at me? The servants who had gathered wondering what happened were distracted by Silvia’s disturbed appearance and didn’t even seem to see me.

Even when I’m dead. No one look at me. Even though it’s an incident that happened a long, long time ago, I can’t erase this sense of emptiness and futility no matter what I do.

In the end, the only one to act and rescue me in this bustling room was Crow. But then, I had already stopped breathing, and he himself should have noticed it. Still, this person reached out to me who was hanging by the neck. I did hear him call my name, “Ilya”, though the sound was so fleeting it almost vanished. Even though his voice sounded strained, as if it took all his strength to spit out my name, it was burning with suffocation. Even though he knew his help was already too late, his voice oozed of impatience.

He looked very heart-broken. But for him to call me like this, it felt very strange.

Before I noticed, the room had become deadly quiet, and only Crow and I remained inside. To put it simply, all the servants seemed to have judged that a person who killed herself no longer ought to be respected. While I had died, I still should have been their master. Despite this, they left me alone because they prioritized protecting the child inside Silvia’s womb. If Crow hadn’t been here... I can’t help but think I would have remained hanged there for a long time. 

Eventually, my body was lowered into Crow’s arms. The blood had even receded from the palms of my hands, and dark red blood vessels bloated on my cheeks. No matter how you looked at me, it was clear I wasn’t alive. My eyes that had lost the spark of life were gazing at space. My appearance looked utterly queer. It was strange to look from outside at my dead body that lay down languidly, devoid of life, similar to a doll. In the first place, it was odd that Crow was holding me. This Crow kept staring at me who lay in his arms, blinking times and times again. Tears were spreading from his long black eyelashes and his mouth was shaking helplessly. His expression was greatly distorted, looking like that of a young child about to throw a temper, swaying between many expressions such as anger and bewilderment, despair and pain.