[✓]My Fiancé is in Love with My Little Sister

Chapter 34

If this is the real end – 17

Clack, the sound of something being torn to pieces rang out. I thought it sounded almost as if something was severed with scissors. I quickly tried to search for the source of that sound but the black feathers were filling all my vision, plunging me into the darkness and I couldn’t see anything. I no longer knew whether my eyes were closed or opened. I was about to raise my voice but a gentle voice held me back. A voice that seemed to be singing, that seemed to be whispering. 

“That child is my precious, very precious princess, Ilya.”

Or maybe it was a voice full of solemnity, as if it was warning me. I didn’t need to confirm it to know it was mother’s voice. At that time, I was looking at mother’s face reflected in the mirror, and she was also gazing at me. Yet I could not remember her expression clearly. Was she laughing? Was she sad? Or did she have the same expression full of love as usual?

“Mother.”

This time, I heard an anxious voice like the one of a child. A heartrending and sad voice that made you want to unconsciously stretch out your hands to hug that child. In the middle of this pure darkness, a small hand was extended. As if it was looking for something, or was saying goodbye to someone, it moved from left to right. I was certain it was only my imagination that made it looks like it was struggling, but the fact it gave me the feeling to be drowning wasn’t necessary a false impression. I prayed for someone to grasp that hand. Because it was the only thing I could do.

            
Please, may someone seize the small hand of that pitiful child.

“… … It is not poison.”

What? Just now, what did you say? I couldn’t quite hear it. Bam, Bam. A sound echoed, as if a fist was hitting hard on a desk. I was driven by the urge to put my hand on my ears to block this sound, but, I noticed it was a noise that came from inside me. Matching the systematic echoes of that sound, my body was shaking. I realized it was the pulse of my heart. If it continued like this my heart would cease to function. That’s what I thought, yet I could only helplessly endure that cramping pain. When I opened my lips to gasp some air, the sound of gulping down saliva resounded.

“So, she won’t die. That’s what worried you, right?”

I could see mother’s back as she had stepped up from the dresser. The noise I made by catching my breath and gasping in surprise was absorbed by the carpet. Reflected in the mirror, was the silhouettes of mother and me as I gazed at her back. I remembered this shaken gaze. Uneasy, lonely, sad. Even though it was my own face, it felt like looking at the face of a stranger. I have seen this scene. At that time, I was looking at mother across the mirror. It looked similar, but it also didn’t. Yet, it certainly looked alike. That’s the feeling I got. That’s why I noticed it. Pulling the drawer just a little bit, inserting her fingers in the narrow gap, she took out “something.” Only by watching the same scene for a second time could I understand how important those trivial gestures were. My heart that was beating strongly since a while ago made an even louder noise. My vision which continued to shake irregularly regained its stillness, the sensation of my feet stepping on the carpet came back. The breaths I was exhaling were making the air shake, I actually felt that I was existing now and here.

            
… … Time had, turn back.

            
I didn’t have any evidence to make me think so, it could also be a long dream, but I understood with certainty it wasn’t the case. Because after all, I had experienced this sensation any number of times. Each time I went back in the past in the blink of an eye, and my body kept its five senses. It might exactly be the same feeling than when a baby is taken out of his mother’s womb. Even though I should not remember this sensation, I thought so. Despite the lack of wind, I noticed the air touching against my skin. My blurred vision was cleared up of all shadows, and as if my face got out of the water my hearing returned suddenly.