Ruthless Seduction

Chapter Thirty Three

Axel's POV

"What do you mean?" I asked, flabbergasted. I kept a collected demeanor, hoping to keep the stir in my stomach under control. "You don't need to think this through. Just sign the paper."

"Axel, I don't want a divorce. I want our marriage to work out." Her lips quivered as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. This wasn't what I expected her to say. I walked into this restaurant with absolute confidence that what I expected to happen would happen. She would sign the papers without hesitation and I'd leave a legally single man. What the fuck was going on?

"You're being absurd." That was all I had managed to say.

"I think I'm actually making sense for the first time in years." She forced a smile but her eyes said differently.

"Guiles, we have our own lives now. Hindi na mangyayari ang gusto mong mangyari." My eyes flared with impatience. I tried to keep my voice steady but it became increasingly difficult, I couldn't help the edgy roughness that rose from my throat. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

"I made a mistake of leaving you. I was young. We were both young. I was scared because I didn't know how to be a wife. I felt caged and confined, I wasn't responsible enough to keep up with the role I was playing. I know you never controlled me but I felt like I had to live up to being a good wife to you." Her eyes flooded with tears, her voice broken and shaking as she spoke. "I felt myself changing and that scared me. I wanted to feel free again- uninhibited. I had an affair just to confirm my freedom. When you found out about us, umalis ako, sumama ako sa kanya kasi akala ko iyon ang gusto ko. Nagkamali ako. It only made me realize how much I love you. How much I would be willing to give up my freedom to be with you."

Everything she said didn't matter anymore. Nothing could be done now. It was over. Kahit ano pa ang sabi niya hindi na mababalik ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. I didn't feel hate or resentment. I only felt indifference- indifference mixed with the desire to simply get over it.

"I'm with a wonderful woman now. I love her more than anything in this world and I can't live without her. You're right. We were both young and stupid and we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We treated marriage as a game. I only married you because I wanted to prove to my parents that they were wrong about us. What we had wasn't love. I only realized it when I fell in love with Valerie. The feelings I have for her, that's what love's supposed to be, that's how it's supposed to feel like." I didn't feel a bit guilty about admitting it. It was the truth. The relationship I had with Guiles was shallow, based on little more than physical attraction and sex. No depth. The things I feel for Valerie, I never felt for anyone else.

Her hands reached to one of mine that was resting over the table. She held it tightly, her eyes bore into me with desperate plea, swelling with tears. "Mahal kita, Axel. I tried to reach out to you, you know that! Sinubukan kong bumalik sa'yo noon. Sinubukan kong ayusin ang relasyon natin. Ayaw mong makipag-usap sa akin. You changed your number, you left our home, I emailed you, I sent you letters but I never heard back from you. I wanted to fix our marriage but I just didn't know what to do."

I gently slid my hand from her grip. "I think it's past time for us to move on and start a new life."

"I can't." She shook her head.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against my seat. This was harder than I thought it would be. I didn't know what the right words to say, I wasn't prepared for this. We had been estranged for years. I hadn't seen her or talk to her for three years. I didn't expect any explanation from her. I didn't expect that this would happen. I just wanted her to sign the goddamn papers. What she was doing now was completely out of character. The Guiliana I knew wouldn't do what she was doing now. She wouldn't be crying and begging. I remembered when I walked into her having sex with another man in our own bedroom. She was surprised but still collected. I sat on the living room, shocked as I waited for them to get dressed. They walked out of the bedroom like nothing had happened. The guy left and we calmly talked the situation over. She said she was sorry like someone would apologize for being late. Yes, she apologized to me that casually. I told her to leave, she stood up, went to our bedroom and came out with luggages in her hand. She said she loves and that she was sorry but she didn't beg me to forgive her. She didn't cry.