When He Calls My Name

7

Sunday at 10:18pm, one month later:

A hand swipes the smudge of dirt and blood from my chin as I sit atop Mt. Hulao in a patch of grass after a rather tasking commission. I allow myself to catch up on breathing, before Paimon hands me something to wrap the wound on my arm. She heads into the harbor for more as this was our last roll of gauze, so I'm left alone to grimace as the pressure of the wrapping stings on impact but eventually seizes.

I sigh, looking up at the dark sky, before pulling my phone from my pocket. I unlock the cracked screen and pull up our messages, even though I know I'm the one who's been ignoring him. It's not that I don't want to talk to him... I want that more than anything honestly. I don't know what I'm waiting for exactly. It's not like he'll suddenly write me this long paragraph confessing whatever it is he'd want to confess to me or anything. But...maybe that's exactly what I'm waiting for, even though I know if that's truly what I want, I'll be waiting for the rest of my life.

My fingers hover over the keyboard, wanting to type something—anything—but once again, I just sigh, shoving the phone back into my pocket and staring up at the sky, letting the cool breeze calm the warm sensation that suddenly floods my eyes.

"Dammit, Xiao..." I choke, aggressively wiping those eyes before Paimon can get back and see me like this. I sniffle, shaking my head to brush off the sudden wave of emotions.

"Aether..."

I jump, body whipping toward the familiar voice behind me, wet eyes now wide with shock.

"X-Xiao!" I say, standing up and staring him over.

He approaches me slowly, stopping directly in front of me, and I have the urge to just steal him into my arms, but I hold back, instead crossing said arms and attempting to look pissed, even though the tears and puppy dog eyes surely give me away.

"Aether," he says again, softly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to kick you out of my life. I realize in your absence...how much I really do enjoy having you around me. This past month has been so...lonely."

My frown wavers into the slightest smirk that I try desperately to conceal. "So, are you saying you missed me, Xiao?"

He looks into my eyes, then takes a deep breathe as if preparing to give a long speech he's tirelessly been practicing.

"Yes," he says, then shaky hands slowly and shyly reach for mine. I'm so affection deprived that I don't even think about what's happening and snatch this hands in mine, interlocking out fingers and looking back into his eyes. He struggles to look at me now that I'm locked on him, eyes going from me to the trees and rocks at every side of us.

I feel him trying to slip away again, but now that I got him back, I'm afraid to lose him, so I pull him into me instead, wrapping arms around him and breathing him in. He's stiff in my grasp, but eventually allows himself to relax a little, his hands gradually finding my waist.

We stay like that for a moment, until he finally pulls away, face red in the moonlight.

"You're crying..." he says. "Why?"

"Me? Crying?" I laugh, sniffling and wiping my eyes. "I don't cry. You just smell like onions, that's all."

"Do I really?" He sniffs himself, and I burst out laughing.

"You're so...cute," I say, and I rest a hand on his cheek, feeling it warm up against my palm. He frowns, smacking it away.

"You love teasing me, don't you Traveler?"

"Yes," I say. "Yes I do."

"Well I don't appreciate it."

"Then stop being so teaseable." I move in closer to him, searching his eyes, a smirk on my lips.

"Y-you're hurt," he says quickly, pointing out my scratches and bandage. His hand hesitates toward a slash on my cheek before deciding against touching it, but I grab his hand and place it there for him.

"So what?" I say in a near whisper, nuzzling the hand a little. "I get hurt all the time. I'm a big boy. I can take it."

Xiao's body goes hot and he immediately removes his hand from my cheek, but once again, I grab it, this time gently bringing it to my lips. I plant a soft kiss to the back of it, then look up into his eyes. His breath hitches back into his throat as he stares at me. Then suddenly I realize what I've done and slowly let his hand go, my own reaching behind me to scratch awkwardly at my neck.

"S-sorry," I say, my face now a little red. I didn't intend on just putting it out there like that, but seeing him again put me in this unusual state of mind. It's like I couldn't help showing him my love.

"W-why did you do that, Traveler?" Xiao says, holding his recently smooched hand against his chest as if it was broken.

I laugh nervously. "Um...I... I guess I just really missed you and got a little carried away?"

He stares at me, studying my face. I want to tell him... I want to just shout it right now. I am so in love with him. I want nothing more than to guide him down onto the grass and duel it out tongue on tongue. But...I'm so afraid. I don't want my feelings for him to push him further away. Regardless of whether he feels the same, I just know he'll see this—us—as dangerous. I don't think he'd ever agree to us, not because he doesn't crave love, but because he feels like he is incapable of being close to someone, or making someone else happy long term. Or because he feels he simply can't be with me. It's so complicated, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to give him the love he deserves. I just can't see a life worth living without him.

However, I just got him back, and I'm not ready to lose him again, so I've never been more happy to see Paimon coming back up the mountain with the gauze.

"They had a whole bunch at—Oh, Xiao! What are you doing here?"

Xiao clears his throat and we try our best not to look so awkward. "Oh, hello, Paimon. I was just making sure Aether was okay. I'll be going now. Goodnight, Aether, Paimon. I'll talk to you later."

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TO BE CONTINUED