When He Calls My Name

41

As I sit on the dock in the quiet, slightly chilly night, I go over a lot of things in my head. I've had plenty of time to think, and though my pride gets in the way, I do understand that sometimes I can't always take what I dish out.

I raise my gaze to the anemo man that appears before me, but turn away from him quickly, rubbing my sweatshirt sleeves with folded arms.

"Hey," I say quietly.

"Hi..." Xiao lowers himself in front of me, which makes me sneak a quick peek into his eyes again, just for a second. I'm avoiding them because I know that I'll get lost. "Aether... I'm sorry."

"No," I say, finally giving into his gaze, "I...overreacted a little. So I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have blown up at you in front of everyone. I made it really awkward. It's just..." I pause, staring at the wooden boards beneath us intensely, focusing as to avoid the sudden wave of emotion washing over me, but it's to no avail. The boards below blur beneath a film of warm water coating my pupils.

"Aether..." Xiao frowns as he notices the tears rolling down my cheeks. Despite my battle, he reels me in and holds me to his chest as I desperately fight my sobs.

"I'm sorry Xiao," I say through sniffles. "I know it was wrong of me to get so upset when I literally did something similar to you, it's just... I was your first kiss. I wanted to be your only kiss... It made me feel special that only I had the privilege to know what your lips taste like. So for you to go and kiss someone else, and in front of me... I didn't know how to react. It just hurt seeing it happen in front of my face like that. I know it's wrong of me to be upset when you had to witness friends of mine flirting with me, and what I did at that party... but I just can't help that it made me feel that way."

I no longer try to conceal my sobs, now shamelessly crying into Xiao's chest, soaking his favorite black sweatshirt. His grip around me tightens, and I feel his head rested on mine, and his shoulders start to bounce gently. I sniffle, pulling away a bit and watching him as his own tears start trailing his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," he says, but it comes out scratchy through his soft cries. "I didn't mean to hurt you... You are so special to me, Aether. That...it didn't mean anything. It was stupid, just a way to make you...jealous. You know I don't like Kaeya. And I know I shouldn't have tried to get even, I'm really sorry. I'll never do something like that again if it means you'll be happy and take me back..."

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand, leaning back into him again and staring off for a moment. "I just wanted to be past all of that. I thought we were in a better place now and you felt more secure with me. It's things like that that make me feel like you just don't trust me..."

"No I do," he says quickly. "I'm just...hmph."

"What?" I say, looking in his eyes again.

"...I... I'm obsessed with you, Aether," he says, cheeks going red. "I want you all to myself. And if I sense anyone even feels the slightest bit of attraction to you, it pisses me off. I get...petty? I don't know. This whole love thing makes me do things I would never do before. It's like I'd do anything to keep you mine or show you that I'm all you need, even if it means sabotaging certain aspects of... I don't know, Aether. I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I'm trying to change, alright? I really am. I don't know how to proper be in a relationship, all I know is that I love you and if we can't be together I don't think I even want to exist anymore."

I frown. "Don't say that..."

"It's true." Another tear trickles down his cheeks. "Now that you're here, this close, I can't let you go. I'd do anything to be by your side forever. Just one day apart from you, not knowing whether you'd ever come back...I couldn't stop...panicking."

"I'm sorry," I say, wrapping my arms around him. "I shouldn't have ignored you like that, I just really needed to proper calm myself down and think things through before I talked to you again, otherwise I might have made another rash decision I'd probably regret."

He breathes me in, eyes closed, holding me as close as physically possible, hands tight on my flesh. "I love you so much, Aether," he whispers, and the way he says it—so passionately—so deep, longing—it starts me up again. I sniffle, breathes hitching as he keeps me from jumping too much. "Please...please take me back. I don't want to be alone again."

I can't talk just yet for trying to control my emotions. And Xiao is understanding, just holding me there as I shiver and hick. We stay like that for a good minute, before I finally pull away slightly, watching his eyes.

"Yesterday," I try to say, but have to pause to get my shit together. I wipe aggressively at my tears and take a deep breath. "Fuck..." I laugh, then sniffle, shaking my head. "Yesterday... when we weren't talking, I realized that... I physically can't live without you either. Reading your texts, I wanted to respond so badly, but I knew I needed to clear my head and not do it just yet. Part of it was me just being petty—like I felt I needed to make you wait and suffer—stupid I know. But another part of me realized that it was literally just me torturing myself by keeping away from you. If it's this hard for me to not talk to you, it's because I seriously can't live without you. You really do complete me, Xiao."

My heart skips a beat at the huge smile that spread across Xiao's face. It makes me smile, and the love I've always felt for him seems to grow stronger in that moment.

"So you'll be my boyfriend again?" he says, and I can't help but laugh.

"Damn," I say, "wait a second, let me say my piece, geez." I smile, teasing him a bit by pretending to think about it. "Fine, I guess you're my boyfriend again."

"Yes!" Xiao jumps into my lap, wrapping both arms and legs around me and kissing all over my face as I laugh, catching him and rubbing his back.

"I love you," I say softly, then press my lips against his.
—————————————————————
TO BE CONTINUED (I may be ending this soon guys and starting something new later. Not yet, but eventually it'll end. Thank you guys so much for reading, voting and interacting! Some of your comments make me laugh)