Unraveled

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His eyes widen and he looks as if I've just stabbed him in the gut. I recoil, mentally kicking myself for not holding my tongue. He's not responding. Oh no. What have I done? Things will never be the same.

My heart drops and anxiety fills me to the brim. I fight his hand, still frozen in place on my chin, and drop my gaze to the floor. "I have to go to the bathroom," I mumble trying to hold myself together physically with my arms wrapped around my body as I walk to the bathroom, closing the door gently, and locking it.

I hear the front door open and close. He LEFT me. I release my arms from their position and proceed to fall apart, scooting my back down the wall until I am hugging my knees. I quietly sob to myself loathing every mistake I've made up to this point, which in main was being born.

Why did I have to confess? Why couldn't I just be happy with what I had? After a good cry I wash my face, walk with head lowered to the bedroom, slip on my night clothes, and bury myself in the blankets never wanting to crawl out again.

Barnaul grabs my wrist. Slam. Mom. Punch. Whisper.... I startle awake from my restless sleep with the usual sweat and tears I thought I had finally escaped.

Katakuri crawls into bed with me and begins holding me so tightly. He doesn't say a word and just holds me, stroking my hair with his chin rested on my head. I don't understand. I lay there silently for what feels like hours before the urge becomes too much and I wrap my arms around him while snuggling my face deeper into his chest. After only a moment his breath becomes too deep for him to be awake.

I lay there staring into the darkness afraid to go back to sleep and energized from my near death experience nap. I didn't think. I just stared silently closing my mind to everything so I could feel at peace.

He is sleeping so restlessly tonight. He tosses and turns over and over forcing me to release him and scoot over. He groans out in distress breaking my heart into pieces.

He flips over on his back, his scarf becoming unraveled and sliding off. His face. His beautiful face that he's been hiding away. His mouth is formed into a grimace while four of his teeth protrude into a curved horn-like point a good inch over his lips. His other teeth all come to sharp little points too but are noticeably smaller. The scars run from the corners of his mouth to just above his ears.

I can't help myself. I touch his face lightly tracing his jaw line. I lean over him curiously inspecting his mouth. Then I steal a kiss, leaving my lips on his. He closes his mouth stirring sleepily so the four longer teeth were the only ones visible.

I gently kiss once more, coaxing his mouth open again with my tongue. He opens it for me and slides his arms around me, pulling me into him. He becomes consumed in the moment and does not yet realize his scarf has fallen off. His eyes remain closed as he hungrily devours my very essence. I move my lips across his cheek, targeting his thick muscular neck that has always been off limits before.

I kiss down from his chin to the side of his neck, gently dragging my teeth along his skin the way he did in that dream, which brought me so much pleasure. I nip lightly teasing him and his breath hitches. I move back to my prime target, his mouth, and press my lips firmly against his.

His hands run up and down my body, he grabs me and flips me on my back while flipping himself on top of me. His eyes are heavy remaining mostly closed but occasionally cracking open halfway in a dreamy expression. He completely overtakes me once on top.

I release control happily, returning the enthusiastic kisses and strokes of skin which are slowly creeping lower on each other's bodies. He withdraws his strokes from their teasing spot fiddling with the lining of my shorts to cup my face. He opens his eyes fully to look at me.

That's when the realization hit him. His eyes become wide with horror, his breath left in one single shakey gasp, and he instinctively shoots his arm up to cover his mouth. He sat frozen this way. I continue to gaze in his eyes, unperturbed with his reaction as I reach my hand up lightly placing it on the arm covering his face. I gently tug it, encouraging him to remove the barrier. His eyes radiating fear, sadness, and a hint of anger.

"What's wrong Katakuri? You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are so handsome," I purr hoping he will let go. His dejected eyes soften ever so slightly and he hesitantly lets me remove his arm. He brings his arm back down to support and even the weight he's been baring on the other arm.

He doesn't move or say anything, he just stares at me with fear in his eyes while looking for anything in my face that would betray my thoughts. I smile coyly at him as I place my arms back around his neck and draw him into me. He relinquishes his control attempting to gather his bearings.

He allows me to pull his face into mine as I brush my lips against his. I continue the kisses as passionately as before trying to spark his previous vigor. He matches my passion kiss for kiss until he breaks away and props up on his elbows again. "Did you mean it?" He asks. "Did you mean what you said earlier?" His eyes dissect every movement of my face analyzing what each one means.

"That I love you? Yes. I do love you Katakuri," I confirm. He smiles THAT smile and I melt at the fully exposed view.

"I love you too f/n," he says earnestly. I can't take anymore. I am literally being overwhelmed with joy. I pull him back into me and just hold him there, rubbing his back. He wraps his arms under me and squeezes the life out of me. As I continue caressing his back, his breathing becomes deeper, his full weight resting on me now, and I know that he's fallen asleep. I smile as I continue to explore his skin with my fingers occasionally lightly dragging my nails along their path. He sleeps soundly, all previous troubles evicted from his mind.

Why didn't he respond earlier? And why did he leave for all that time? I fall asleep contemplating today's now seemingly inconsequential events resting comfortably in his arms. There is nothing, not even me. Just a voice. His voice. "I love you too f/n."








































…........Secrets (Schmutz Caution)….......

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