Shame (Schmutz)

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Katakuri picks me up gently cradling me before laying me down on the bed and scooting in next to me. I wrap my arms around him slipping them under the front of his vest so I can rub his bare back. Before long I am sliding his vest off over his shoulders and down his arms, removing it completely. He grips my face lightly brushing my healing cheek, “f/n, we don’t have to do anything. If you’re not ready I can wait.”

“I want you Katakuri,” I state getting lost in his beautiful eyes. “I just want everything to go back to normal.”

“I can always just go back to teasing you,” he grins at me. Suddenly Barnaul’s voice from my dream echoes in my mind, “Do you think your boyfriend is going to want to touch you when you’ve betrayed him that way?” I break my face from his grip so he can’t see the sudden despair I feel.

“You don’t want to.” I state feeling like a desperate fool. “Do you… Are you disgusted by me now?”
 
He lifts my chin up looking seriously into my eyes, “there’s not a thing about you that isn’t the most beautiful in the world, and…” He trails off grabbing my hand and placing it on his hardened member. “I definitely want to.”

I blush with a half smile looking away and withdrawing my hand, “I have just been worried because of… because of what happened is all.”

He leans into me placing his mouth right next to my ear, his breath tickling my face and neck. “Well, if you don’t think I want to… I can show you just how wrong you are,” he smiles so seductively causing that familiar zap of pleasure to run straight through my heart on it’s path along my body. He slowly slips the cloak off my shoulders followed by the straps of the bathing suit.

He slides the suit down exposing my stomach. His eyes are drawn immediately to a healing hole stabbed into my side and deep cuts sliced across during one of my interrogations. Burns that paint my body are now revealed to him. He pauses his actions and grimaces with a tortured expression befalling his face. “What’s wrong?” I ask, self doubt contaminating my thoughts once more.

He can’t even look at me, “nothing.” He kisses me gently on my neck but an exasperated sigh leaves his lips. He doesn’t want me anymore. I gently push on his chest to analyze his expression further. He raises to his arms letting out another sigh. “What is it?” I ask again, fear coloring my tone.

“It’s just…”  He pauses for a moment to find the right words. “You are mine and I’m supposed to protect you. I am ashamed that I let this happen to you.”

My expression becomes relieved causing him to frown. “You had no way of knowing it would happen. I know that you will keep me safe no matter what, but it was impossible for you to have known. I would have been safe if I had never left.”

“I should have just taken you with me. You would have benefited the mission with your tactics and fighting ability. I was being foolish.” He looks troubled. 

“No, you were trying to keep me safe. Look, let’s not dwell on it any further. I’m alive and I am happy now. That’s all that really matters right? It’s no one’s fault.” It absolutely is but I’m not about to divulge that. I pull his face in softly and claim his lips with a deeply sweet kiss.

Becoming consumed in passion, he begins sliding my suit the rest of the way down. He caresses the entirety of my body, lightly dragging his fingers over the wounds. I move my hands to his belt and he lifts slightly to allow me to remove his pants. His touch is so soft as if he feels I will break with any sort of force. He kisses me lightly on the neck under my jaw up to my ear.

He rests his member at my entrance while confirming again that I’m alright. “Are you sure,” he whispers in my ear, tickling it with his sweet breath and sending shivers of pleasure along my back. I lock my lips to his with desperation before replying, “yes, I am sure.” He slides into me gently as if it was the first time. He starts out slow giving me every opportunity to retract my consent if I begin to feel uncomfortable.
 
I pull him into me harder as I kiss his neck, encouraging him to let loose. I can feel the muscles in his back contracting as his thrusts quicken and become more forceful to fulfill my wishes. I moan quietly in his ear prompting him to tighten his hold around me and drive faster and harder yet.

I can feel the familiar tension building inside of me with every loving kiss and each intimate stroke he places on my skin. My finger tips press harder into his back as the sweet release overcomes me. He swallows my moans with a hungry kiss before a moan of his own is loosed against my lips. He collapses in exhaustion on top of me and I mindlessly trace his back feeling my own exhaustion taking its toll. He runs his arms under me lifting me into an embrace before his cute little snores begin to tickle my face.

Content with how my life has drastically turned around yet again for the better, I allow my heavy lids to remain closed and I drift away into sleep. It was the first sleep that I had no dreams at all, good or bad. I awaken to movement beside me as Katakuri gets dressed to take his shift of watch. He notices me stirring and kisses my forehead. “I already know you’ll want to come with but you can stay and sleep if you’d like.”

I smile at him, “I want to come with.” He returns my smile sweetly before we throw the rest of our clothes on and he shoves me back down on the bed crawling on top of me. His eyes are glued to mine as he leans down to kiss me, his gloved hand holding my face firmly and his thumb tracing my jaw line. “I don’t feel like it’s possible to express how much I love you f/n,” he says upon breaking away. I search his eyes before smiling mischievously, “I feel the same but I sure like to try.” He smiles back flicking me on the forehead, “you’re naughty.”

He gives me one last kiss before we get up and head out to the deck. Smoothie and Cracker are smiling as they watch us approach. “Oh, you guys made up,” Smoothie says innocently. Cracker begins laughing rambunctiously while swatting at his knee, “who are you fooling Smoothie, the whole world heard them make up…”

I stop dead in my tracks, all the blood rushing to my face immediately. Without a word I turn around and walk back to the room closing the door behind me. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. Katakuri’s voice flows through the air, “come on Cracker, knock it off. She’s been through enough without your remarks.”

Cracker still laughing says, “oh ho ho ho! I bet she has big brother! I bet she has!” I hear a scuffle followed by Cracker’s voice no longer laughing, “ow! Come on, I was only messing around! Sheesh. So serious all the time. Fine, I’m out of here!” I hear his footsteps fade past the room deeper into the hall and Smoothie’s follow shortly after.

I hear a light tap at the door and the sweet melodic tune of my love’s voice, “they are gone. You can come out now.” I crack the door to peep at him, “I can never show my face around them again.” He laughs completely, “it will be fine, just come out. The more you let Cracker know it bothers you, the more shit he’s going to give you for it so I’d just pretend it doesn’t phase you.” I sigh heavily before stepping out to sit with him on the deck.

We sit quietly enjoying the peaceful night until he breaks the silence, “I know you’re probably exhausted but there will be a dinner party the day we get back as is customary for completing a mission. If you don’t want to go, I won’t go and we can just stay home.” Ugh. I absolutely do not want to go… but if it’s one of Big Mom’s events… he’ll be in a world of trouble if he doesnt attend. “I would love to go with you,” I state sweetly hiding my reasoning. He seems content and we fall back into silence as I snuggle into his side and rest my head on his shoulder.









 




































.........Surprise at the Dinner Party.........

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