The Value of Tears (En- JayWon) ✔

XXXIX

Jay

I don't want to tell you in detail how my biological father was investigated because the author doesn't know how those things work but in summary, he's imprisoned and he will serve his sentence of life imprisonment. Although I don't know if he could be released through parole but all in all, he's paying for his crimes.

Sunghoon on the other hand surprisingly forgives him. Like I don't understand how but he said there is no use in cursing on him or on hating on him because nothing will change. Plus what's done is done and he said that he will start a new chapter with his new identity. Well he's still keeping his name, Park Sunghoon and I am keeping mine except I will be using Park Jongseong.

We didn't bother to swap our original names because it would be a hassle so we just kept it that way.

Flashback

We sat inside the car as we wait for Heeseung as he entered the place where his father's ashes are at peace.

"You don't look happy"

I stated and Sunghoon just gave me a smile as he look out the window.

"I just feel bad for my parents. . . you know, all those years, I could've visited their graves, greet them happy birthday or even visit them on a daily basis. . ."

He said full of regret and guilt and I cannot help but feel bad for him at the same time for my uncle and aunt. Come to think of it, they're both so happy when they held Sunghoon but it didnt even last long and they already lost him.

"Yeah, that sucks I know. . . but do you know what will make it more awful?"

He look at me and I just look ahead.

"What?"

"Well first, is that would be you blaming yourself for not doing what you should've done. . . secondly is that you will not do what you should be doing. ."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Oh my goodness. Let's keep it simple then. Don't blame yourself for not doing all those things, you didn't know. And secondly, do what you should be doing. Instead of feeling sad or guilty, make up to them then. Visit them, greet them on their birthday, anniversary and celebrate your birthday with them. . . maybe introduce Jake to them too. . . . I know they're not there to see it all but they'll be happy with that. . ."

"You really think so?"

"Of course. . . it is also a chance for them to be with you even in spirit. . . "

"If only they're alive. . but this is a fresh start"

"You seem chill with Sooho. I can't help but notice"

"Oh. . I don't see the need to be angry now that everything has been done . . . I would just be wasting my energy in beating him up. I could use that energy to do other things you know . . . plus, I see that he's sincere in paying for his crimes so that's enough for me. . . I think my dad wouldn't like me beating up his baby brother don't you think?"

A laugh escaped my lips upon hearing his question. I am dead sure that Lee Jongsuk could appear in front of Sunghoon if he even thought of taking revenge over his uncle.

"You're right. . . I actually am the one who's been wasting his energy. I mean, I beat him up and I am always angry at him. . . . but then I realize, what's the point? Nothing can change. . .nothing will ever change. . but something might change if I stop this madness and do something productive.  ."