Blog Articles/ Članci sa bloga

Stereotypes about overweight people

* PS: If you are here because of the positivity regarding physical appearance and a happy ending, you are in the wrong place. Through my articles, I talk about the unpleasant side, the side that leaves a bitter taste in the mouth and is a part not only of me, but also of people like me. Since I am prone to pessimistic realism, there will be a lot of resentment and negative emotions here, which can potentially have a bad effect on someone. I no longer know what to advise anyone, whether to read or not; I'm just writing about a society from many years of experience, wish I have no personal experience with this topic.*

   Fat. Another in an infinite series of adjectives; for some it is nothing specific, for others it is an insult they use, and for some of us it is etched in the brain and serves to mark us as a person. Some of us weren't even people - we were just fat. We are to blame for the fact that a billion people are starving, we are the collapse of the economy, we are a burden to the health system, we are to blame for being automatically the target of ridicule and harassment. If you are harassed because of your weight and you complain about it, you are more likely to get "advice" to lose weight, so no one will harass you, than someone to protect you. Just because you are "fat", you look stronger - then why would anyone protect you? It's your own fault you came to that, isn't it? Even children are not spared, on the contrary, many of us still have problems from that age. Can't you run and work out? Are other children laughing to you? Do adults constantly comment on you and stare at you, making you feel even more uncomfortable because of your appearance? You see, how others don't have those problems, but you - then the problem is in you, that's how they will convince you ever since.

  I read an article that indirectly supports intolerance towards overweight people, which even states that most men would rather choose a woman who has a history of suicide attempts or is a drug addict than one who is overweight (hm, interestingly, they didn't think that some of us are a combination of that). Aside from the fact that all these people are humiliated by being put on the principle of "choose what's worse", but how did someone come up with a "genius" idea to make a poll of things that ruined a person's life to determine what kind of person would someone want to spend his life with?! So, according to this "genius", a person who has been cured of drug addiction is not as valuable as other people, not to mention the "loser" of the poll, ie. an overweight person who doesn't seem to be worthy of love or anything beautiful in life. That's how I grew up, believing that I would be worthy of everything (including my crush) only when I lost weight, so in the meantime I lost the desire for almost everything, especially after anorexia - I was much thinner, but everything else was the same. I had only one crush in my life, I didn't allow myself to fantasize much about it because of my physical appearance - it would be an insult to a person to find out that I like him (or her), so I'm glad I didn't put such an bad epithet on anyone. Even with my crush, I didn't want to say anything until I lost weight, but after a while I rather idealized that person in my mind and convinced myself that I must like only one person in my life than I really cared about that (it just sounds like the Disney movies we grew up with, only it's not applicable in life), I was waiting for the moment when I would look "decent" because a person once said that he "doesn't like me because I'm fat". Time passed, in the meantime he started dating girls and I was never interested in relationships, I wanted to keep him as a friend (since he didn't accept the request on Instagram a few years ago I haven't had any interaction, I won't spend either my own or someone else's time or to beg someone), although it is better for me to stay away from all people who remind me of the past. The only thing that bothers me about certain situation is that I have the feeling that I made a mistake I can't fix, and for the rest I'm sure I haven't cared about him in that sense for a long time. I guess it was a great insult that I even dared to like him - I saw him for years as the most interesting and sympathetic person in the world, while others thought mostly negative things about me. If any person had only a part of such an opinion about me as I had about him (not in love sense, in any sense), and not for a few years, not even days, but literally one positive thought - I would feel honored, only if it was said honestly. In the present, I rarely like to get a compliment (especially comments about looks), and I shudder at the thoughts of crushes and  relationships; I guess I'm not used to listening to positive things, only insults feel real in my brain, which is why I take any criticism seriously.