𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 ⇢ 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒔𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏

˚ ༘♡ 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 ༄

ever since the funeral, harry and i haven't spoken. it was two weeks ago. i had made up with mary jane again. but me and him, it was like we never existed to eachother. i want to be there for him. i really do. mary jane just comes first. that's what i will always regret saying for the rest of my life.

i mean i love mary jane and all. i do. i really do. i wish nothing but the best to her. she is my best friend. but i thought i would be making most of my decisions. not her making the decisions for me. of course she was the first person to love harry and it will be wrong for me to go with him and not her.

deep down, i wished i had told her that i was my own person and that falling in love with someone she use to be with wasn't always my intention at all. it was just something that happened, and i will never regret doing it.

"luna." peter called me downstairs. yes i was in my room, like before all this happened. i was going back to my old self. the person who just reads books all day. i closed my book after he called me and placed it on my bed gently. "yeah?" i said confused yet slightly annoyed because i was getting at a really good part in my book.

"they're back together." he said softly as i noticed he just came back home. he didn't need to mention any names for me to know what he meant by 'they're' i watched his eyes saddened. i was also sad too. it meant that he had never liked me. but i had to move my feelings to the side for peter. cause i know how much he loves mary jane. "oh peter." i hurried down to wrap my arms around him. it wasn't long until he silently sobbed into my arms.

"it's okay pete, it's going to be okay." i reassured him, rubbing my hand up and down his back. he never liked showing his emotions to me. "i was going to give these to her." he said as i released my grasp from around him. i watched him pull out a a couple of flowers. they weren't in the best condition but i smiled at him.

i thought of how easily she took back harry after what happened. i looked at peter place the flowers on the counter. i then put them in a vase and smiled at him trying to cheer him up. it hurt that he doesn't know that i'm also hurting inside. i grabbed his hand into mine and made him look at me.

"aunt may comes home tomorrow." i said cheering him up. "we can watch a movie together, you get to choose." i tell him as his eyes sparkled. "really?" he says with a smile. i nodded before letting go of his hand as i walked upstairs.

i go to my room and close the door behind me. i had then got a call. it was her. i answered. "hey it's me, mary jane. i have some good news, can you guess? well me and harry are back together." she said happily. and we are back to the beginning. this time without me falling for him. "that's great." i returned the happiness to her. again i had to be there for her. even if it meant her being with the person i liked a lot. yes, liked.

months had passed as they continued to date. they were inseparable. it's like they truly were in love. it hurt me the first couple months. but then i learned to keep to myself. i stayed in my room for most of those months. everytime they had asked for me to tag along with them, i declined.

it wasn't that i was being rude. it was because i couldn't stand them being with eachother. it hurt. peter stayed. he still hung around them. it also hurt me to see that. i had told him multiple times to stay with me so he wouldn't feel sad about seeing them together but he also declined.

at first i had been counting the months they had been together but then i just lost count. i was stuck in my own fictional world of books. it was the only thing that brought me comfort in this world. i had stopped liking harry. it was for the best at this time. it gave me time for myself.

i never talked to him again. i kept my distance from him whenever he came over. i decided to make it feel like he never existed. i know he did too. so by what seemed like the eighth month already i had grown to be in my room. mary jane called most of the days. she was rather busy with her job so we mostly called. i also got a habit of having my room door closed all the time so no one would come in.

"i brought you something." mary jane had came into my room. i looked at her as she closed the door behind her. she placed a book in front of me. i instantly look at her. "i know you were going to run out of books to read so i got you another one and i know how much you wanted this one." she said making me smile. i wrapped my arm around her thanking her for it.

"you're off today?" i asked putting the book on my next to read shelf. "yeah i wanted to come see you." she said looking around my room noticing new posters. just some that peter got for me. she noticed how i never really went out anymore. "are you doing well?" she asked worried. i hummed back with a nod.

"you haven't left this room in a while." she pointed out, which was right. i had been asking aunt may and peter to get me things so i wouldn't have to leave my room. "i'm okay, i really am." i said continuing to read the book i was reading. she was just trying to make sure i was in a good place even though i wasn't.  i didn't want her to worry about me when she could be living her best life. she nodded silently and then left my room.