HIP #3: Forgetting The Old Us

Prologue

They say that most fairy tales start with once upon a time. Pretty much right but not to the fullest. My type of fairy tale began with I will always love you until...

When he said, "I will love you to death, my one and only." I believed in it and thought he was sincere. Until I figured out he just made me hate myself so I could love him more which he has done to all the other girls who loved him before.

How did our story go? Terrible!

Once upon a mistake, a few regrets ago, one innocent and kind girl went to a party by herself after witnessing her mom and dad fighting for the hundredth time. She thought she could be happy, instead, that's where her life began being the worst of all. But no one knew about it. It was a secret she kept for herself. Because that's her: loud yet full of mysteries.

It has been two years since we broke up, but it still hurts. Because we ended in the way I didn't expect us to. And now, though it has been so long since we last saw each other, I'm stuck in the place where he left me alone and searching for his love. I'm still here, forgetting the old us when he did it the day we ended something that never even began.

A year has passed ever since one of my best friends, Peter died. I never even expected it to happen. And Charlie hasn't been to school after that. She switched to being homeschooled because she said she wanted her schedule to be flexible for doing things which I don't know what are really about. But I'm sure she's trying to move on. What hurts the most is that he's not just her best friend but they loved each other more than just how friends should and Chance who is her boyfriend, never knew about that.

I don't know why she never mentioned it, maybe because she's scared of breaking up with him? I'm not sure of that. But Charlie is a very kind person with a thick heart and she deserves the world. This year, she said she's coming back. Finally! We're complete as a trio again. Last year, it was only Britney and I, who is my other best friend that came to school, we even tried to fulfill her responsibilities as a School Science Leader and it was such a hard job.

It was boring without her, she usually lightens us up when we're sad and tired of studying but now, it seems like it's payback time. Our turn to comfort her for that's what friends are for. Speaking of school, these past few weeks, I've been binge-reading some workbooks for our second semester of senior year. Just last year, Britney was at the top of our class and I'm pretty sure if Charlie was at school, then she was the second in the ranking. But I claimed her spot. Maybe she'll get back to it now that she's okay.

School is the safest place for me. It's where fighting parents don't exist, a brother who brings tons of friends at home isn't there either or fancy occasions. Only math, science, and Literature which a lot more enjoyable rather than watching your mom and dad fight in the middle of the night, breaking dishes when they're disappointed at each other, and throwing hurtful words.

They aren't my real parents anyway. It's pretty obvious. They're white and blonde and even my brother is. I'm black and my hair is thickly curly. I'm from the orphanage when I was six years old. My biological parents died in a car crash when I was four. I was lucky to survive. Then I was adopted. I never felt the loss of child support because ever since then, my adoptive parents always showed me, love, through money. I never had to work at night because they worked for me and gave me all my needs and wants. They were almost perfect. The only problem is that they don't get along all the time. It's not their fault that they both chose the wrong person from their perspective.

Living with them for two decades, I figured out that both of them are good people and so kind. They're just stressed and tired after work when they get home so they unintentionally hurt each other. I hope that if I would get into a relationship, it wouldn't be like theirs.

It has been before, but I won't let that crap happen ever again. I fell in love with the wrong person so the next time I would fall in love, I would make sure that he's not a walking red flag.

I don't want to be like Britney who fell in love with her number one enemy: Nate Maddox who was well-known in our school as a bad boy. They loved each other so much that she figured out that they're not just cousins but siblings. Which Nate knew all along.

I don't want to be like Charlie either who fell in love with our best friend: Peter Rivera while she's in another relationship that she's taking care of and hid her feelings until he died. That was terrible and became worst when she heard the voicemail he sent her.

I had my own tragic story before but no one knew about it except for me and...

And...

And...

And...

I can't even say his name anymore!

It was a secret love story that ended in the most unexpected way. I don't want to recall those days anymore. It was a very long story but in short, at least I survived. It ended with a "sorry." Which I never understood what exactly was supposed to mean.

We're the broken-hearted trios. I'm just a little odd because my heartbreak was silently loud.

But I swear to myself, this year would be different. This won't be the same as the other ones when I used to miss him, look for him, and when I used to stalk him on the internet every single day.

This year would be year where I would be forgetting the old us.