HIP #3: Forgetting The Old Us

Chapter 29

Carrying my tears all held back from the madness I received in that small conversation with him, I grabbed my bag and aggressively placed its strap on my shoulder, and marched to the exit door leaving him standing in the middle of the circled chairs all alone with the lights slightly off.

I pushed it open, exposing the brightness coming from the hallway shades. I took a deep breath before attempting to take a step. My feet almost met the ground, but from my left side, I heard a familiar girly voice confronting me. "We heard everything," I gulped and slowly tilted my head to the lateral, where I heard the noise.

My mind is telling me to leave, my heart says I should stay and my feet want to run away from this thing right now. I want to scream out loud. Britney and Charlie were resting their backs on the wall behind them and had both their eyes on me. "It's... it's... nothing." I immediately began walking away, but hearing their footsteps behind me made me realize I can't lose them.

They'll follow me wherever I go. I don't even know why am I trying to walk away from them when they already figured things out. "We've heard enough, Shane! Come on! Stop hiding it now!" I felt the urge of her to get to me as fast as she could.

Once, when my feet were finally tired of walking away and running down the endless stairs, I stopped by the announcement board a few steps away from the door. I leaned my arm on the wall and took a deep sigh, trying to chase my breath. I have no reason of avoiding them earlier but I guess I lost my mind thinking that I betrayed my two best friends and didn't tell any of them about my problem.

Charlie placed her hand on my shoulder while Britney came in front of me. "Ice cream?" I nodded and smiled at her offer. I need something cold to cool down my burning head. "Wait for me by the bench outside, I'll buy some," she immediately walked away and Charlie kept her hand on my shoulder as we walked out of the school and took one of the seats on the empty gray bench with orange leaves on its table which came from the tall old tree above us covering the seats from the sunlight.

I'm not sure if they would understand or if they would know how I feel, and if I can tell them everything. But they're my best friends. They never do not understand my situation and when they sometimes get a hard time with it, they try their best to analyze me. Like what best friends really do.

My hands gently pushed the leaves away from the table and I rested my arms there after placing down my bag beside me to save a seat for Britney.

While I had her in my mind, we watched her slowly walk down the stairs of our entrance door with three cones of ice cream wrapped around her hands. I took the light red one as she offered it to me and Charlie took the white one. Cookies and Cream perhaps which is her favorite flavor and Britney took the one with cheese bits on the top of it.

I licked mine for the first time as the bits of real strawberry got into my tongue. Meanwhile, the cream of the flavor sent a sweet sensation to my throat and its coldness made my tongue numb. "We've heard what you and Professor Culpo were talking about." Charlie's words made me feel weak and held my head down. I feel like I betrayed my friends for no reason.

"It wasn't my intention to hide this from you guys. I was just very scared that you both won't understand. I wanted to tell both of you but I had no idea how." I almost threw the ice cream in my hands because of the gestures I made to explain hard.

"Look, we're not mad that you hid it from us. We were just confused. You didn't have to hide it!" Britney stated after taking a lick.

"I know, I'm sorry about what I did. I really am." I whispered keeping my head held down. I lost my appetite for eating.

"It's okay, next time, please let us know so we can help you." I nodded.

"So you mean it's true that our professor was once your lover." Charlie interrupted.

"We dated for several months but I don't know if that psychopath even loved me." I was kind of giggling. The thought of that fact makes me shiver and at the same time makes me laugh at myself.

"What? Why?" Britney's astonished question.

"It's something very complicated to talk about. In short, I survived all the trauma." I pressed my lips and took another lick. The wind blew my hair away making it dip into the ice cream. Disgusting.

"Trauma?" She frowned.

"You know..." I can't explain what is it exactly. It's kind of complicated. I don't know but it's just really weird to think that I loved Arthur and I never found out about-

"Oh," my thoughts were cut off when Charlie reacted.

"Is it really just us who knows about this?" Britney joined the conversation.

"Not really." I smiled. Finally, I can smile.

"There is someone else?" She threw her right hand sideways in the air

"Yeah," her eyes widened.

"I hope it's just Arthur." Charlie giggled and licked her ice cream which is almost done for her to eat.

"Eros,"

"What the heck? I can't believe you trusted my idiotic brother! I swear to my life, even if I will die tomorrow, I swear, I swear, I swear! He will tell his friends about that and tell every person he knows. How can you believe him?"

"Really? Like how you screamed out loud last night that he likes me?" I rolled my eyes after remembering all the things she said at the party we'd been to.

"Wait, I said that?" Charlie and I chuckled.

"Hello! Everyone laughed!" She joked.

"Sorry for that. But wait, when did you tell Eros?"

"Umm, last night?"

"What? Last night? Shane! How could you? How in the world can you trust my brother?!?!?"

I don't know.

How can I trust him?

Maybe the trust just automatically popped out from nowhere?

I trust him. And I have no reason why.