HIP #3: Forgetting The Old Us

Chapter 37

After the long chat I had in the car with Eros, he took me back home and we said goodbye to each other. The thought of having him as one of the guys who had a crush on me before makes me shiver. Because it's very awkward to talk to a guy who you know once liked you so much. And for a minute or two, you felt the same thing for him but hid it like a turtle hiding in its shell, scared of what will happen outside or what the people would say.

Friday night slipped away just fine. Britney sent me lots of video clips she took with Charlie at the party. They looked like they had a lot of fun. It tempted me a lot to follow them in that house, but having Arthur's image in my mind coming around to me makes me stop myself.

I attempted to change into a party dress but every single time I look in the mirror, I ask myself, 'are you ready to face him there and set up another fire with fire?'

And I couldn't answer it so instead of going, I stayed at home. Kobie went there and asked me if I wanted to come too, but I said no with conviction. But in the end, I kind of regretted it. Because in all the videos, not even once that I saw Arthur in a clip.

Still, I thought it's a hook. Stupid little me.

I slept alone peacefully without Arthur in my mind. It was such a great night to not think of him. I was problem free that night.

Today is Saturday. I got to make this day something spectacular. Nothing like the other Saturdays I had. I want this day to be special for no reason why. It's just my mood. I stood from my bed and ran down the stairs. I checked on Kobie's room and found him lying on his bed, shirtless and his comforter is the only thing covering his body.

At least even if he's wasted and so drunk, he didn't bring a girl to our house. Achievement unlocked for him. I shook my head and slightly smiled. Then ran down the stairs. I expect mom and dad are gone already. As always. Nothing new with that.

Even on weekends, they spend their time on their work. Not with us.

They used to do that before. But the routine vanished leaving me and Kobie to spend our weekends alone. But we grew up in this situation so our emotions are now immune when it comes to not having our parents with us.

They couldn't even attend any of my Academic Awards each year. My teachers are always the ones hanging the medal around my neck and the ones who I have with me in pictures instead of them.

I rushed to the kitchen and opened the fridge. The first thing I grabbed is the bag of fresh milk and from the pantry above it, I grabbed a cup and then poured it in there.

Milk for breakfast, milk for lunch, milk for dinner, and milk for snacks.

Luckily, I don't have lactose intolerance or any problem with drinking this type of drink. It's my addiction. I love the taste so much and its sweet sensations send hypertension to me every time I try it. I leaned my back on the door of the fridge right after I covered it.

I took a sip and felt the coldness of it. Fresh milk with ice always hits different for me. "Good morning, honey." I frowned when I heard that familiar, old and manly voice. I looked at my side and found dad sitting with his feet crossed on the sofa.

It has been a long time since I last saw him on a Saturday morning sitting on a chair and watching TV. If I'm not wrong, then probably the last time I saw him do that was seven years ago when he had his first and last day off at work.

"Dad? What are you doing here? You're late for work!" I was panicking when I said that.

I'm just surprised that he's not yet even dressed in a suit and tie like he always does. It's new to me to see him relaxed like this. "Calm down! I'm not going anywhere." I bet this is a dream.

Or this might be a prank. But he's not into those types of things. I know him even if we're not always together, he's a serious guy.

"What? Why?" I calmly walked toward him and parked myself beside him on the sofa,

"I just don't want to." He said.

"That's new to me," he chuckled.

It's been several years since I heard that chuckle. It's like music to my ears to hear my dad laugh after a long time. I missed it.

"Shane," he called.

"Yes, dad?" I took a sip from my milk which is almost done.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" I frowned.

"As your stepdad, I know what my mistakes are and the responsibilities I couldn't fulfill for you because of my selfishness." He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Working every single day is not selfishness, dad. No need to be sorry." I faked my chuckle but deep inside, I feel grateful that he knows what his mistakes are.

"It is because I couldn't spend time with you like I am supposed to."

"Don't mind it. I'm okay with that." He smiled.

"But, dad... I have a question." I looked up at him and he looked down at me with his one eyebrow raised. I can't do that.

"What is it? Go ahead,"

"Why don't you leave mom or sign a divorce paper with her as she requested before?"

Last year, I heard them fighting because mom asked dad to sign a divorce paper but dad refused to do it and that confused me.

Before speaking, he sighed and looked up at the empty ceiling.

"Because no matter how many times we fight, no matter how toxic our relationship is, no matter how many dishes we break, how loud our yells to each other are, she will always be my wife. The girl I loved. I know sooner or later the old she would be back. I loved her then and I love her until now. I will hope up to forever that one day, we would be okay. I will never sign a divorce paper with her. I want us to fix our relationship and be back to the old us."

True love.

That's what they have.

And that's what I would never have.

Dad is strong enough to handle the challenges he and mom are facing. Like this toxic relationship they have and lack of bonding. But still, they both hold on to each other and still have high hopes that one day they can fix their relationship.

Maybe if Arthur and I tried to hold on to our relationship before, we are still happy now. Maybe if we didn't give up and we acted like my mom and dad who still are not leaving each other despite the toxic vibes between them, then perhaps I'm not this sad that I lost him.