HIP #3: Forgetting The Old Us

Chapter 28

I left my bag on the chair and walked toward him. "Hey, what are you still doing here?" He asked when he found me marching towards him. "Can we talk?" I shouldn't be the one asking him about this crap.

"We're already talking." I took a deep breath and tried to hold back my madness. He has no chance of changing.

"Arthur, why the heck are you doing all these things right now?" I slightly screamed.

"What?" He frowned.

"This! This!" Earlier, the yell was just slight. Now it's very loud. I'm screaming in front of my teacher, but I would never give him the respect a teacher deserves. Because I know him, he shouldn't be treated the way I treat other people.

"What... this?" That is the worst act I've ever seen in my whole life.

"I'm done dealing with your stupid actions! Answer me!" My nerves are about to pop.

"Shane, do you think I want to face you out here?" It wasn't supposed to hurt me. But it still did. Realized he didn't want to see me anyway. I shouldn't feel this way.

"But why are you here?"

"Because I am doing my job! I didn't want to be your Creative Writing teacher in the first place! But what can I do? I was assigned to your class. I'm just working to make money so please just understand! And about the party last night, I was there for protection, okay? Tristan hired me! And right now, this opportunity was given to me by Miss Smith."

When he said that he didn't want to be my Creative Writing teacher, it made me shiver. Because it was confirmed that he doesn't love me anymore. Or did he even?

I never thought Tristan cares about safety to hire him for protection in his party. I attended several parties which he hosted and none of them had a guard or anything like that.

"Fine! But do you have to act like we're nothing but strangers?" I took a step closer to him as my voice was raised up.

"What do you want me to do? Walk in the hallways and scream in front of everyone that you're my ex-girlfriend?" His voice became louder than earlier and I couldn't help it. My palm immediately met his rosy cheeks. Making him startle and hold it as a defense.

"I loved you once, and I'm not sure if you loved me once either, but we don't have to act like we're strangers." I began calming down a little. I realized how loud my words were.

"Do you want me to write on the whiteboard that you're my ex?" My fist was formed into a rock. I'm trying my best to hold back all the madness and the insult I get from his statements.

"Do you want me to tell everyone what kind of a person you are?"

"What kind of a person am I?"

"That narcissist who dated three girls at the same time!" I gently tilted my head.

"Is that a big deal? Come on! Get a life and move on! That was three years ago," I can't believe that he can afford to chuckle despite this situation. Why am I even surprised? That's him. He never felt anything but fun for himself. "For you, it's not but for a girl like me with feelings who you treated like a doll to play with, that was a big deal. And just for you to know, I have moved on. That's why I'm confused that you're back trying to ruin my life again."

"If you already moved on, then you won't be scared that I'm back to ruin your life because you don't care about me anymore. Seems like you still do." He chuckled again acting like he felt nothing.

"I'm only confused why you're back after all these years that you can laugh along." I faked my smile and my giggle too just to insult him.

"I'm not here for you, I'm here for my job. I hope that clears your confusion." Hearing from him that he's not here for me makes me feel ashamed for screaming too loud, asking him such questions, and even facing him. I'm like a fool trying to get back a guy who was never mine.

"I know, but your presence irritates me," I'm beginning to tell the truth.

"Why? Admit it, Shane! You haven't moved on! If you have, you're not irritated."

I guess... he's right.

Because I won't be this mad in front of him if I have moved on. He's right.

"Hating you being around me doesn't mean that I haven't moved on. I'm just saying that I don't want you to be seen by my eyes ever again." Yet, I still want to fight my side,

"It's just the same!" He licked his lips. "Close your eyes, wear a blindfold or an eye mask, remove your eyes whatever; that's not my problem." If it won't give me detention, I would have punched him, slapped him many times, or even knocked him out.

But he's my teacher. That's his advantage. And I'm not that evil anyway.

"How can you be that rude to me?"

"I'm not rude, I'm just telling the truth. Call the truth rude as you said so." His insulting face earlier now has turned to a serious expression.

"Okay," I turned around and began walking back to the chair I was sitting at earlier and grabbed my bag then fixed it on my back.

If I would stay, I'm not sure if I can handle the pressure. Tears might automatically drop down from my eyes and I don't want him to see me cry. "Shane," he calmly called me. I wanted to turn around but I couldn't. But I still froze from my position.

"Can we just do one thing? Only one thing." I didn't reply. "Let's just keep our past aside. Let's act like we're nothing but strangers. As if we never met, there was never an us, and we don't each other. You do your thing as a student, I do mine as a teacher. And maybe things can work out?" He calmly spoke.

Maybe it's that easy for him. Because he's a narcissist who can effortlessly forget about the girls he dated. But not for me who had him as my first love. It's not that simple for me to act like he was never mine. Because I must admit that until now, I still love him.

And that would never change.

I loved him once, I guess, forever and always, I would always love him. Even if he never did the same to me.