Bunny

43

Me and Isaiah stood in the kitchen making our dishes while the other three boys were watching his tv.

"Who you got in a fight, Killua or Bakugo?" I heard one of them ask.
"What type of stupid ass question is that?!"

"What're they talking about?" I asked Isaiah.
"I don't know. They argue about characters every time they watch tv together."
He took a piece of my diced tomato and ate it.
"Stop it!" I exclaimed and smacked his hand.
He laughed.

I kept checking my phone to see if my dad asked for me.

"I have to clean your mom's house." I reminded him since it was 5pm.
"I forgot you still do that." he sighed.
"I'll let them taste and then leave to go."
"You gonna come back here?" he asked.
"My dad doesn't work tonight."
He sucked his teeth and I laughed at him.
"He work tomorrow?"
"Yea."
"You gonna spend the night here again? If you promise not to jump on my ribs."
I laughed. "I'll see."
"I don't like that answer." he replied.
"It's the only answer I have."

Someone's phone began to ring and they answered it.

"Yo?" said LJ.
We all looked at him after the boys turned the tv down.

"What...?" he asked on the line.

I watched Isaiah lean against the counter like he was trying to listen better. The other two had their eyes glued to LJ as well.

"Yo, you can't do that shit alone! Fuck is wrong with you?!" LJ shouted and stood up.
"What's goin' on?" Isaiah asked.
"Andre." LJ replied and looked at him.
"What about him?" asked Kareem.
"He knows where the guy that got Deion is. They're havin' a party tonight. He boutta...go for a ride..."
"Gimme that shit." Isaiah commanded and walked over to LJ with his hand out.

LJ handed over his phone.

"ARE YOU DUMB, BITCH?!" he immediately shouted.
I stood there staring, as did the other three.
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" he yelled.
I wondered what they were talking about.
"Stay there, dumbass." he said and gave the phone back to LJ.
"Yo, where you goin'?" Kareem asked.
"Moral support." he responded and turned off the stove then walked out of the door.

We all looked around at each other then followed after him.

Honestly I get kind of tired of chasing Isaiah through his apartment complex as he makes decisions to leave spontaneously.

Once we made it downstairs, we saw him unlocking his car.

"I'ma follow you!" said LJ. He and Kareem hopped in his car and I watched Kevin get in Isaiah's passenger seat.

I just walked over to Isaiah and stood there in confusion.
"Go get your work done while I'm gone." he instructed.
"Where are you going?"
"I'll be right back. I'm just handlin' somethin'."
He kissed me then hopped in his car.
I heard it roar on then he plunged it into reverse and I watched him leave the parking lot and LJ followed behind.

I don't know how long I'll be able to take that.

____________________________________

"Hi, Willow." Pam greeted as she came downstairs and saw me washing the dishes.
"Hi..." I replied.
"Uh oh. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm okay." I assured her.
"You don't seem okay. Did Isaiah do something?"
"Well...no...not really..."
"What happened?"

I stopped scrubbing the pot to think.

"I'm just...nervous I guess." I replied.
"About?"
"He's...I don't know...we're very different..."
"Different how?" she wondered even though I felt like it was obvious.
"Well...he's scary and I'm scared of everything...he lives a more dangerous lifestyle than I do and I don't know how to cope with that." I wasn't going to also explain to his mother how much more comfortable he is with intimacy than I am as well. I felt like I should keep that much a secret.
"He went to Westdale again, didn't he?" she asked me.
"Yea...and it didn't sound like he was just going to help an elderly woman cross the street."

She sighed.

I finished the last dish and dried it then put it away before I started wiping down the countertops.

"I always tell him that lifestyle isn't safe or healthy but he insists he can't get out of it." she stated.

"I can't be mad at him for getting into it because it's kind of hard not to be affiliated in that violence when it's all you've known and grown up with. He's been surrounded by it since birth and unfortunately I didn't win the lottery until he was a grown man. I could never afford to leave and keep him away from it." she explained. "Now my baby's stuck and I fear every moment he tells me he's back over there but I don't have the heart to keep him away because that's where his family is. When we still lived there, I feared every moment he'd walk out of the house."
I stopped cleaning and just stared at the counter.

I didn't want that to be me.

To be scared every time he went out to do something.

I can't do that.

My phone rang.

I went to her kitchen island and grabbed it.

It was Isaiah.

"Hello?" I answered.
"Where are you?" he asked me.
"I'm at your mom's house. I'm almost done cleaning then I'm going home." I explained.
"Stay there."
He hung up.

I looked at the phone.

"Is there something wrong?" Pam asked me.
"No, he just told me to stay here. I guess he's on his way."
"And I'm gonna kick his ass when he shows up." she said and walked back upstairs.

I wondered what was happening and why he demanded that I didn't leave.

When he gets here, I'm going to tell him how I feel. I'll tell him that I can't be with someone who lives a life so reckless, illegal, and dangerous.
It was scary and I wasn't ready for it.
That's not who I am.

My type was men like me. Shy. Sweet. Sometimes they even had glasses. They didn't sag their pants, they wore them on their hips. They didn't drive loud sports cars and play rap music loud enough to shake the ground. They listened to r&b and drove their parents' old cars. They didn't have biceps, abs, and pecs most of the time. They were too busy studying to be thinking about going to the gym.

Isaiah isn't at all what I'm used to.

Which makes me not know what to do in situations like this.