× Day Dreams & Nightmares × R6 x Male!reader

Sleep (Jackal)

A/n: For those who may not know, Jackal lost his brother to gang violence as a kid and they still don't know who did it, which caused Jackal to get into the GEO and develop extreme insomnia due to the event
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Every night, I watched as Ryad relived that morning. I watched him pace the halls, as though he were trying to run from the memory. And everytime I saw him, I only watched, wishing I could do something to help him. But he never let me get close. He didn't want to hurt again like he did all those years ago.

"Elena (Mira), I just don't know what to do. I want to help him, but I can't do that if he doesn't let me near him," I groaned, leaning back in my chair as Elena sighed. She contemplated something for a moment before she gave in.

"He doesn't want you to get close because he's scared he's going to end up loving you. I've seen the way he looks at you. He stares at you from across the room every single time without fail. And he looks at you like you are the most amazing man in existence. Like you're some sort of angel," she explained, watching me cautiously.

"But why would that be such a bad thing? Ryad should know that I won't be going out like.. you know. I'd sooner quit working as a doctor than let that happen," I said, wringing my hands together. Elena knew how I felt about Ryad. She knew all I wanted was to see him sleep at night with waking up in a cold sweat, or hurting himself waking up and ending up at the infirmary during the night.

"Like I said, he's scared. He doesn't want to feel like he did all those years again. Even now, Ryad is pretty sure it'd kill him if something happened to you," Elena told me. I sighed, running a hand down my face.

"That's it. He's in the shop right now, right?" She nodded at that. I said nothing more as I matched out of the room, beelining it for the workshop.

××× Jackals POV ×××

I stared at the visor in front of me, not truly focused on them. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of him. The little smiles he'd always give me, the comfort he'd bring every night I woke up from that nightmare.

The way his hands would dance across my skin as he'd take care of the cuts and bruises after every mission. The tenderness of his words and actions everytime I was in there.

I slammed the miniscule screwdriver down in the table, groaning as I hid my face in my hands. I was alone in the shop, my thoughts my only company. And they kept going right back to Y/n.

I tried distancing myself, telling myself it was just a crush. But I was absolutely, hopelessly in love with that boy. I just wished I wasn't so scared of losing him.

I was startled by the sound of the shop doors flying open as I looked up to see the very man I fell in love with making straight for me.

"Y/n? Is something wrong?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level and cold. It didn't seem to discourage him, however.

"Quit that, Ryad. Just stop. I know you're scared of losing someone like that again, I know. But I'll be damned if I go out like that and you don't even get a proper good bye," he raved, his face livid, but his eyes brimming with tears and something else. Something that just broke me.

"You don't understand, Y/n. I can't go through that. Not again. When you first came here, with the CBRN unit, I didn't think I'd be sitting here unable to get you out of my head. Now, the thought of losing you is unbearable, Y/n. If I lost you, I don't know what I would do. I genuinely don't think I could live without you, as cheesy as it sounds," I admitted, spinning around in the chair to look at him fully. He was quiet, his face blank and I started to get worried.

"Shit, I just messed it all up, didn't I? Damn it, I knew this would happen, look I'm -"

"Shut up. Just, shut up. God, Ryad you're such an idiot for such a genius. I love you more than anything. You are the best thing that could have ever entered my life and I'll damned if I'm gonna let you walk out of it. Ryad, you mean more to me than you'll ever know, do you understand this? I'm not gonna let you try and distance yourself from me just because you're scared," Y/n told me, his hands hesitantly reaching out as they landed softly against my face.

I stared at him, eyes wide. Part of me still wanted to push him away, yo deny what I felt. But I couldn't bring myself to listen to it anymore. I leaned into his touch, quiet as tears quickly made their way down my cheeks. He quickly closed the distance between us, bringing me into a familiar hug.

"I love you, Y/n. I really, really do," I whispered as he rubbed calming circles around my back. He gripped me a bit tighter at this.

"I love you, too."

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Later that night, I lay in bed with Y/n soundly asleep beside me. I watched as the moonlight waltzed its way across his sleeping form, the relaxed gentleness of his face. I carefully pulled him towards me, taking in a deep breath. I hadn't felt like this for a long time. So relaxed and.. safe. I knew with him, nothing could happen. He shifted a little, hands tightening their loose hold on me and I could feel myself drifting into sleep.

It was then, I knew, that he was right. Nothing would happen to him or me. And I couldn't be happier about it.

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HAPPY PRIDE YALL!!!! i know its late but i have so many WIPs it's not even funny it literally says 49/56 published im tryna treat y'all for my absence 😭😭