Sweet Nightmare (Akashi Seijurou X Reader)

Chapter 18 - Getting Closer (her side)

I've done it!
It was in impulse!
But it was that moment that I felt that it's the time I need to tell him, so it won't get dragged further to the point that I don't have anymore courage to say it.

"Sorry for taking your time" I stopped as I turned around and apologized to Akashi. I requested to move to the sidewalk of the bridge, since I didn't want to stay in front of the mansion.

"It's fine." He responded and I couldn't help but gaze towards the car that was still in front of the mansion, and it was in hazard, Ken-san was inside the car, but the window was rolled down. Kari-san on the other hand though was standing next to the driver's seat, leaning his back with his arms crossed. It's just.. the two of them were looking at us, surely on guard. "Don't mind the two and focus on what's in front of you"

I turned to Akashi and he was looking straight at me.

I took a deep breath and again apologize "I might not be able to say it properly, or it might not make any sense to you, so I will apologize in advance"

"I already heard that a while ago as well. It's fine already and just say it"

"Wait! Let me take a breath again" I closed my eyes, and took couple of deep breath, then calmed myself. I looked straight at Akashi, and felt my cheeks burning in embarrassment "I love Akashi Seijurou" I started and smiled to myself, but feeling my cheeks burning "ever since middle school, I always feel the same and I think it will never change" but then I bowed down towards him "I am going to apologize again since I am being rude to you up until now"

"I am used to it already"

"Setting my attitude aside, I am talking about how I think of you as a different person to the Akashi Seijurou that I am talking about"

"..." I could see one his brow raising up, probably confused to what I meant

"When you told me 「the inside me is telling me to be good to you because you are his good friend」 ever since what you told me back then in the classroom, I think of you as two people, two entirely different person; the Akashi before and the Akashi now. Without a doubt, I am in love with the Akashi before, the person I was with from the start of middle school until the 2nd Akashi switched place, that Akashi Seijurou."

"I see, you are confessing to the Akashi Seijurou before"

"I already confessed to him, and he also did. And since I am thinking of him as a different person, I am still holding to the third year high school that we promised" I again gazed away and chuckled "but again, as I said I am being rude to you. I am being rude for thinking that way"

"I quite don't get what you are implying (f/n)"

"I told you I might not be able to explain it properly nor it might not make any sense to you. To be honest, I also not quite sure if I am making any sense." I sighed and continued as I looked at him once again and smiled "I kept on asking, I love the Akashi before, there's no doubt. How about the Akashi now? It's a simple question I couldn't answer, and the reason is because I am thinking of you as a different person, questioning your actions, your words" I again sighed, I just kept on sighing, somehow a bit of relief that I was able to say my side "anyways, what I am saying is from now on, I'll stop thinking that there are two Akashi Seijurou. I'll accept my current situation and I won't deny my own feelings anymore"

"..." Akashi wasn't gazing away, did he understand what I am saying? "So you are saying is that since you like the current me, you feel like you are cheating to the other me. That's why you decided to just think of him and me as one. Is that correct?"

"... when you put it that way... y-yeah, something like that." Why did he explain it much clearer?! I am surprised though that he was able to understand that.