East or West

Please don't turn around

THERE ARE MENTIONS OF SA IN THIS CHAPTER

When I wake up, the clock reads seven in the morning and we're in the same spot we were in when we fell asleep. I feel bad because Geo's been sitting up for five hours straight, holding me.

I carefully un-straddle my legs and tap him, "Geo. Lay down before your back gets messed up."

He wakes up ugly as hell and it makes me laugh a little.

"I was fine. I wanna keep holding you." he groans as he reaches out for me.

"You can hold me after you lay down but I don't want your big headed ass to be walking on a damn cane at thirty years old."

He finally opens his eyes, "rude." and then lays down.

When I lay down, I make sure I face him so I can hug him.

"Aw, you love me?" he smiles as his chin rests on my head.

"You wish."

____

The next morning:
I slept good last night next to Geo. I always do. He's like my personal dream catcher. But I'm still up thinking about my mother and that guy. I didn't make amends with my mother before she died and that guy just won't leave my head. I don't know why either.

I'm laying in bed, rubbing Geo's cheek as he sleeps while staring at the blank wall, thinking about this. What do I do about my mind? I can't keep living like this. Geo isn't gonna be here 25/8 to keep these nightmares away. I have to get over it. So he won't get annoyed or feel like he has to be with me. I have to get over it for him.

"What's the matter? You've been staring at the wall for an hour." Geo groans.

"You were up?" I question.

"Not really, no... but at the same time, yeah. What's on your mind, princess?"

We're in a relationship now so I should tell him these things. But what would he think if I told him that I'm going fucking crazy because my mother told me she hated me and I almost got raped? He'd probably look at me like I was dumb. I probably would too. It's not that big a deal so I'll just leave it alone and Google something later.

"Nothing. Just thinking. About everything."

That wasn't a total lie.

"About me?"

"Sure..." I joke.

He laughs, "shower?"

"Yeah."

We're in the shower now and we aren't doing anything besides cleaning ourselves. It's kind of nice to be this kind of intimate. No sex, just him and I. Although, sex would be an add-on that I wouldn't refuse.

My mind keeps racing and racing though. It's the same thing every nightmare. My mother and that guy. I know it's getting annoying to hear but it's all I know right now.

"Princess," Geo waves his hand in front of my face.

"Oh, huh? Yeah, what's wrong?" I snap out of thought.

"That's what I'm trying to ask you. What's going on with you, baby? Talk to me." he rubs my chin.

I really don't wanna tell him.

"Nothing. Just thinking about Daddy and Kai... and you." I lie.

"Because I have to meet that girl?" he questions.

I actually haven't been thinking about that. Lin's right. I should trust him... but I should say yeah.

"Yeah."