Her Sanctuary

The Rebel

I lay in bed late at night thinking about what he said and the way my body reacted to it. It's been over an year since that part of me has been dormant, but it's been even longer since I actually enjoyed this kind of stuff.

When my husband ignored the pain of endometriosis and took what he thought belonged to him, there's this part of me that started feeling repulsed every time that man touched me and I was just quiet for the sake of my son next doors.

It's been a while since I've been so wet for a man and it just feels wrong. I was a virgin when I got married and my parents raised me in very orthodox beliefs. Sex before marriage was considered a sin and then they gave me up when I was 9 years old, to my father's sister... Naina or the woman who I now call Mom. But I stayed in touch with them for a long while, taking in there beliefs. I thought of my biological parents as my real parents and wanted to go back to them up till a certain age

Until I was 19 and I realized that they gave me away because they had finally had a son. They had two daughters and countless abortions until the ultrasound machine showed them the next one was a boy. That's when they decided, I wasn't important. So, they gave me up to free up space and resources for their boy. Jeet and Naina had a little Samayra and having a girl never phased them before. They didn't even try to have a boy or even a second child when I came to them.

I was their second child that completed their family.

But tonight I couldn't sleep with the rejections of the past haunting me. I closed my eyes to find my employer's hand around my neck and I opened to feel a pair of lips hovering close to my ear.

I picked up my phone to surf the internet when I noticed a message from an unknown number.

<Are you up?> it said as I searched for the caller ID, until a familiar name showed up.

Avinash, SP

He used his designation instead of using his surname and that was smart. I clicked on the message.

<How did you get my number?> I replied as my phone buzzed in my hand as he called.

I picked up and put the phone to my ear.

"I took it from your case file." His voice looms near my ear again as I role my eyes at the phone.

"Can you do that? Use a number from a professional case file for personal use?" I ask in a low voice as he chuckles.

"You spent a night in bed with me, so I don't think it's just professional between us." he says as I feel a thrill in my shorts, by the throaty sound of that chuckle.

"Oh, get over it." I say as he laughs.

"I wish I could. I really wish, I could just go to bed without thinking what your tits would look like underneath that navy blue bra or what you would feel like wrapped around... Oh I should have let you strip completely..." he says as I laugh.

"Yeah, you should have also let me fuck you and not made me sleep." I say as he groans.

"No, when I fuck you... You'll be very much conscious, screaming my name and you'll remember every goddamn moment of it."

"If you fuck me..." I correct him as he chuckles.

"Why are you doing this? Your body tells me that you need me as bad as I need you."

"What if I don't?" I ask.

"You would have already hanged up on me. But you're talking aren't you?" he says as I whisper.

"I can hang up now."

"No, please don't." he begs as I chuckle trying to think of what to say next as it is followed by a short pause.

"I can't do this. Yes, my body wants this, but my brain warns me against it. What if something goes wrong?" I ask.

"Sabina, I'm sure a lot of things went wrong in your life and I'm sure that your brain didn't warn you each time and now you're paranoid. But sometimes... You just gotta live... Go with the flow." He says as I shake my head as if he could see me.

"I'm not paranoid."

"Oh, but you are." he says.

"I'm not."

"Then prove it." He says as I was amused.

"How?"

"Come out for a drink." He says as I almost forgot to breath.

"No way." I say as he laughs on the other side.

"Let me guess. You've never sneaked out at night before." He says as I bite my lower lip.

"It's not a nice thing to do. Rules are for a reason. For our safety."

"I'll keep you safe, my queen." He says in a serious professional voice as I laugh.

"It's... weird." I say as he shakes his head.

"Okay." He says.

"Okay?"

"If you say No, I understand. It's completely your choice, I'm not forcing you for anything. And maybe Danish wakes up in the middle of the night to find you." He says as I shake my head as if he could see me.

"He sleeps through the night. It took almost 4 years to establish this, but no matter what you do, he won't wake up. Plus He was supposed to binge watch Disney movies with his maasi tonight. Pretty sure they slept late." I say as he groans.

"So, you have no excuse and still you don't want to have some amazing time with me? This is hurting my ego." He says as I laugh.

"You actually have a very big ego." I say as a matter of fact.

"I have something even bigger." He says as I fake gag acting grossed out.

"Eww... Avinash, you did NOT go there."

"I meant my height. I'm a very big cuddling pillow." He says as I smile goofily.

"So, what's the plan?" I ask as he goes silent for a minute before speaking.

"Wear something slightly warm, but nothing too warm. Like a thin sweater, but do cover your legs and arms." He says as I frown.

"Where are we going?" I ask as he chuckles.

"See you outside your house in fifteen minutes." He says as I disconnect and get up walking to my wardrobe as I felt something weird about my face. I touched my cheeks and noticed that they hurt. They hurt from smiling too much.

I stood infront of my office closet trying to pick up something fancy for the first time in a while. My hands settled on a burgundy, not so warm sweater with black jeans as I opened the lingerie drawer, surpassing the old cotton bras, moving up to a black lacy piece. I thought what I was doing for a moment but then shook my head.

"Go with the flow." I whispered to myself picking up the black set and a pair of beige leather boots.